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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

help and advice

206 replies

FondantFancie · 26/08/2011 11:26

My husband thinks he is entitled to half my child tax credits. We have three children together which we share contact exactly half and half. we have been separated for 3 years now. I have just recently had a new baby so am not working and just claiming the benefits I am entitled to. He is a full time teacher.

He feels that he is entitled to the tax credit money while I do not as he is working. He puts the children into childcare which costs him a lot each month. He claims not to have any money to spend on himself or the children. What should I do?

OP posts:

pickgo · 27/08/2011 13:00

No they are for the parent to take care of herself and the children.

I repeat OP said he had tried claiming TC but they said he was NOT entitled to them because he earns too much. He even appealed and didn't get them.

And he is not the main carer either is he - they are co-parenting ie equal parents. But he earns enough not to be on benefits. She doesn't earn cos she's just had another baby.

Again, if he can't afford childcare then he'll have to cut his hours to look after his children - just like the rest of us!

mollymole · 27/08/2011 13:00

if he has them 4 nights a week she is not the main carer - what has she told them when she made the claim - has she lied and claimed to be the main carer - or has the situation changed since she made the claim

you see, going through my mind is
he cannot claim as much as he has too much income and so she says she is the main carer (when she is not)
this is a way of getting 'as much as possible' from the state cash cow

pickgo · 27/08/2011 13:05

Wrong again Molly. They are 2 separate households so can BOTH claim. BUT he earns too much. She does not. He claimed was refused. Appealed was refused. Now expects her to subsidise him because the childcare costs would presumably eat into his lifestlye. What a cheek. Where does he get off expecting OP to fund his life choices from her benefit that she's been awrded to provide for her children?

tabulahrasa · 27/08/2011 13:09

No two households cannot claim tax credits for the same children, he does not earn too much to claim tax credits, there is no way in the world he does.

He's not getting tax credits because the OP is, that's what he's appealed.

PenguinArmy · 27/08/2011 13:12

The OP has said that if he were to claim he would get an amount, and from the TES thread he is asking for half that amount (not half of what she gets) he would get if she weren't claiming then.

The reason he is not entitled has nothing to do with salary and him being above the threshold, but that only one parent can claim them.

CardyMow · 27/08/2011 13:17

Even if the care split is 50-50, the TC system is NOT set up for paying money for the same child to two different households. I do feel, that all else aside, if OP's ex has the dc for half of the week even when working, that either she gives over half of the CTC for the dc that they SHARE (i.e OP keeps all tc's for her new baby). BUT that depends on if the NRP is 'fair' and buys clothes etc out of that money for the dc. If OP was to give half of all TC, but had to buy ALL of the clothing for the dc / pay for all their school dinners / pay for all their after-school clubs, then that would be unfair. Which is why I stopped splitting TC's.

Only works if BOTH parents can be fair, and spend an equal amount on essentials for the dc. When they can't then the parent that is paying for all these things should keep all the TC's IMO.

So IMO, it depends on how the relationship between OP and her EX is - if he would spend all the TC's she gave him on childcare instead of changing his working hours, and he wasn't going to pay for clothes/school dinners/shoes/after-school clubs, then I believe it is not right or fair for her to take on ALL those costs with only HALF of the TC's.

CardyMow · 27/08/2011 13:23

Especially when you consider that OP's new DP MUST be on a very low income for their household to even qualify for TC's - under £17,7K pa. I can bet your bottom dollar that a teacher earns more than that. How would she be able to afford to keep a house suitable for all her dc if she was only getting half the TC's - that the DWP has stated that SHE needs due to her household income?

Though it would all be solved if the DWP and the government would CHANGE the TC system to allow for shared care in different percentages. Though I could then see that it would leave some people (like me) in a shitty situation where they only get 55-60% of the TC's, but have to cover ALL clothing, shoes, school dinners AND after-school clubs. I suppose THAT'S where it gets complicated...not wanting to leave PWC in the shit if their Ex isn't fair or responsible or sensible.

CardyMow · 27/08/2011 13:25

For example - when Ex-P was here and working, DS1's dad wouldn't even provide him with a packed lunch on the school day after DS1 had stayed there overnight - I still had to take one in for him. DS1's dad's answer - well let him live with me, then he'll get free school dinners (as Ex-H won't work so is on JSA). So even when I was splitting the TC's with him - I was still providing EVERYTHING.

tabulahrasa · 27/08/2011 13:27

Her new DP doesn't live with her - she's on benefits as a lone parent.

IRCL · 27/08/2011 13:43

This thread is confusing.

I think YABU and should give a share of your TC to your Ex, after all you do not have them for four nights, so what do you do with the money that was meant to help you look after your DC?

TC´s are not for you, if you are a lone parent (although you say you have a partner and have had a baby, does´t sound single to me ) presumably you will be claiming Income Support? that is the money for you. Or at least that is what I was told.

Besides if he does have your DC then HE is the main carer, not you.

perfumedlife · 27/08/2011 13:47

So the new 'dp' is not really a partner if he is not living there and contributing to raising his child. Is he paying maintenance for this new child? Not that it matters as maintenance is apparantly not taken into consideration when calculating benefits I believe. The system is a shambles. The op is encouraged by the system to live apart from her child's father for financial gain.

IRCL · 27/08/2011 13:51

That is a good point perfume. If they are not together he should be paying maintenance.

Kayano · 27/08/2011 14:01

maybe there is not a new DP?
Maybe it was a random?

Dunno because OP has suspiciously vanished

I love this thread btw.

I know NOTHING about CTC and also benefits in general, but I find this fascinating. If it were me and DH... if we split up he worked and I didnt and he stuggled to cope having them 4 nights a week
first I would be delighted that he had them 4 nights a week
and secondly, I would hand deliver him a share of the CTC as its to benefit the children

pickgo · 27/08/2011 14:10

OP must be on maternity leave to get TC - or her partner must be living with her and working.

Why should she give her X money to fund him to enable him to continue working? And out of benefits - they are NOT provided to keep him in funds.

He will have to either go part-time in order to look after his DC or do some extra work, like evening tutoring, on the days they are not there to pay for their childcare.

If he doesn't like it, well he should have thought of that before he allowed his marriage to crumble.

What kind of man would expects his X to solve these problems for him ffs?

woollyideas · 27/08/2011 14:10

I don't know if anyone's brought this up yet - I can't see any mention of it. If you're claiming child tax credit, the amount for childcare is usually shown separately. Child tax credits alone aren't intended to cover childcare costs unless they include a 'childcare element'. (Is this making sense?) For example, I receive child tax credits... I used to get about £500/month because I paid for after school club, breakfast club and school holiday childcare. As soon as DD stopped needing childcare, and I told HMRC, my child tax credits reduced dramatically (approx 60% less) as I didn't need to cover childcare costs.

Unless OP is making a claim for childcare costs, I would imagine the child tax credits she's receiving aren't intended to cover any childcare.

I think it's pretty complicated. Tax credits are given to people based on their household income, but we're looking at two separate households here, one of which seems to be incurring childcare costs but not claiming any tax credits, and the other which seems to be claiming child tax credits which don't include an element for childcare as she doesn't need childcare when the DC are with her.

If the DC are with their dad most of the time it would seem that he should make a claim for tax credits including a childcare element. However, couldn't this then leave OP in a situation where she doesn't have enough money to provide a home for her DCs? I wonder if OP could make a claim which includes the childcare costs which her ex is incurring and then hand that whole amount to him? On my tax credits award it used to show the childcare element as a separate amount.

tabulahrasa · 27/08/2011 14:12

'OP must be on maternity leave to get TC - or her partner must be living with her and working.'

Not children's tax credits.

woollyideas · 27/08/2011 14:14

I wonder if OP could make a claim which includes the childcare costs which her ex is incurring and then hand that whole amount to him?

Obvious flaw in this idea... I doubt HMRC would pay a childcare element to someone who wasn't working. If OP is on maternity leave, she could probably claim for childcare, but if not working at all I doubt she could...

Complicated.

pickgo · 27/08/2011 14:16

Oh yes... that's true, OP said TC, not WTC didn't she.

Even so, I stick by my point. This is his problem. Expecting his X to solve it is incredibly entitled not to mention just wet.

IRCL · 27/08/2011 14:16

I think pretty much anyone can receive CTC, you do not have to be working. Working Tax Credits is a different matter though you HAVE to be working in order to claim those, I think that is the benefit which has the childcare element not the CTC.

Pickgo - How do you know he allowed their marriage to crumble? Or is there another thread on it somewhere?

The fact is OP has said he has them 4 nights and her 3, that makes him the main carer which means that the benefits should go to him.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/08/2011 14:16

How do you know that HE allowed his marriage to crumble, pickgo... unless you are in fact the OP as well? You don't, right?

It's about fairness, he's looking after the children for most of the week, that's quite unusual I'd say. The allocation of credits has been made to the mother, who is the parent typically that the children stay with after a marriage break up.

IRCL · 27/08/2011 14:17

And if he cannot cut his hours pickgo? then what? Just quit work?

pickgo · 27/08/2011 14:19

My husband thinks he is entitled to half my child tax credits. We have three children together which we share contact exactly half and half.

Can't see the 3/4 arrangement anywhere?

MugglesandLuna · 27/08/2011 14:20

Selfish, selfish, selfish.

IRCL · 27/08/2011 14:21

Think it was mentioned further up the thread or in the similar one OP made in another area?

pickgo · 27/08/2011 14:23

I don't know about their marriage obviously... but he will have contributed to its demise as much as OP, so why should she pay her benefit to him to sort out the consequences?

If he can't cut his hours then he will have to find another job where he can. Duh!

Bottom line is it's his problem. Not OP's problem. And he shouldn't be looking to his X to solve his problems. I can't believe others think this is at all reasonable.

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