Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want this cat? I think DH is being vvvu.

163 replies

BerylStreep · 25/08/2011 22:33

Me & DH have agreed to get a cat, now that our DC are at an age where they can respect an animal and hopefully won't torture it.

I absolutely adore devon rexes - mainly for their huge affectionate personalities, but I also find their looks exotic yet sweet at the same time. They also have the benefit of not shedding too much.

DH, who knows nothing about cats, has refused to let me get one, saying they look like gremlins and are 'freaks of nature'.

I am really upset about his dismissive and judgmental attitude. So what if the cat looks different? It will still make a wonderful family pet - more so because they love human company. My response to him is how would he have reacted if one of our children didn't have conventional looks - he would be devastated to hear anyone making such unkind remarks.

I know it seems irrational, but I really, really want one of these cats. I am also really upset that DH is vetoing the cat based only on looks.

OP posts:
ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs · 26/08/2011 08:12

I am taking Pinots place, she is away hunting with the wolefs at the moment.
OP, I understand why you would want a breed specific cat but would urge you to consider a rescue. Obviously if you can't, you can't.
We have two boys, they are around 20 weeks old and, allegedly brothers. One is ginger the other grey. Both were spayed on Tuesday because I don't want to be responsible for more unwanted cats.
I didn't know about the CPL clipping the ears of cats. Mine came from a local nutty cat lady who has many in her house.

milkmilklemonade · 26/08/2011 08:27

There are lots of lovely friendly sociable non-designer label cats begging to be given a home at your local shelter.

CeliaFate · 26/08/2011 08:51

I think yanbu to want a Devon Rex. We all have our own preferences and likes/dislikes. If you can afford it, it's entirely your decision and I'd say go for it. But your dh doesn't want one and you have young dc.
I think you need to go for one that has a personality to suit young dc, one that is laid back and happy to be petted, cuddled and picked up. A rescue shelter could steer you towards the right one.
If you want a Devon Rex, you need to get your dh on board or he'll be resentful once the cat's in your home.

acatcalledbob · 26/08/2011 08:51

Get two - much better to have 2 cats, they'll play together and keep each other company, plus the kids won't fight over just one. One rex and one rescue ... problem sorted Grin

Runlolarun · 26/08/2011 09:01

I bought beautiful, exotic cats and a dog dependent on their breed, because they allegedly had the most amazing, affectionate personalities. Then I got a hideously mistreated dog from the local shelter, he is the most amazingly calm, loyal and beautiful boy ever, despite his terrible past. I do love them all equally, but I would NEVER again support private breeders, when there are too many animals in desperate need of homes

hester · 26/08/2011 09:03

Nice link, pinguwings. OP, show your dp Biggles and Cookie - surely he won't be able to resist Grin

Mitmoo · 26/08/2011 09:05

How very dare you all call the ugly Devon Rex's ugly.

You are a vicious bunch of ugly catists.

Runlolarun · 26/08/2011 09:05

Oh, and I picked my rescue dog for his looks too! He was the most pathetic looking creature I have ever seen. Maybe you could go down that route?

ColdSancerre · 26/08/2011 09:11

YABabitU because of the cats in rescues waiting for homes issue. Acatcalledbob has the ideal solution, one rescue, one Rex. Get them both young so they have a playmate.

diddl · 26/08/2011 09:13

I think that they look lovely.

But if you go to a rescue you´ll probably find something equally lovely!

ColdSancerre · 26/08/2011 09:15

CPL only clips the ears of ferals they have neutered and returned to the wild ripstheirthroatout. My old boy had the top of his ear missing and a few vets said he must have been feral but he was the friendliest most entitled cat in the world so I think he probably just lost it in a fight (he was also a bit of a ginger thug). I currently have an ex-feral/semi-feral rescue cat and their attitudes towards humans are miles apart.

Tanith · 26/08/2011 09:23

I've always had moggies and I've rescued many strays myself, but I really cannot understand this inverted snobbery about pedigrees.

Passion is one thing, but some animal lovers sound positively militant!
Of course there are bad breeders. There are also bad shelters. The shelter near me is one reason I've always kept or rehomed strays myself.

If the OP wants a pedigree cat, that's up to her. My great aunt had a Rex - think it was a Cornish - because she was allergic to cats and wouldn't have been able to have a cat at all otherwise.

Rexes have short, curly hair. I think the poster who mentioned feeling the cold has confused them with the Sphynx cat, which is completely hairless.

seeker · 26/08/2011 09:26

Buying cats only encourages breeders. And there may be nice, ethical breeders who bring kittens up to be lovely family cats, but I've never come across one. And it is actually immoral to do anything that causes one more kitten to be born while there are so many in need of homes.

SuchProspects · 26/08/2011 09:43

I think YABU to have one specific cat type that you want because of its looks but think your DH is somehow wrong because he doesn't like the look. He has the same rights to his own personal taste as you do. There are plenty of other cats that are affectionate and outgoing too, you could look at those.

EssexBecca · 26/08/2011 10:16

I looked into rexes when we got a kitten a couple of years back for similar reasons.
I changed my mind in the end when I read things like the fact that they can get sunburned - I didn't want to keep our cat indoors, nor apply sun lotion to it!
But I did want to try to get a cat with a particular personality type having had various moggies over the years, some of whom have been fab, others quite bitey and scratchy. I didn't want to take that gamble with little ones around.
We ended up getting a tonkinese (Burmese/siamese) cross from a lovely lady who was not in it for the money, and was an RSPCA worker as well as breeding a little from her own cats.
I couldn't be more pleased with our tonk, she is great fun, chatty, loving, playful but she never lashes out even when children give her a bit of a hard time.
So whilst I have always had rescue cats until now, I don't regret my decision to go for a posh puss at all, it was the right choice for us.

Nesbo · 26/08/2011 10:29

OP- have you tried holding your breath until your DH lets you have everything your own way? I've heard that foot stamping and scowling can also help when two adults disagree (although I suppose you have already flirted with this by taking it to a bunch of strangers on t'internet...)

OTheHugeRaveningWolef · 26/08/2011 11:17

I got the best ever cat from a rescue centre. He was the Ray Winstone of the cat world: elderly, thuggish, ginormous, black as midnight, and a fantastic friend to me during a tough period in my life.

Apparently the hardest cats to rehome are black ones, according to the Cats Protection woman I got Cat Winstone from. We claim to live in a rational age but apparently lots of people are still superstitious about black cats.

I mean look at all the black kittens here who need homes!!! I want them all! Sad

diddl · 26/08/2011 13:35

They´re all gorgeous!

I´d love a tabby like Milo.

mummymccar · 26/08/2011 13:41

I have to say that I don't think it'd be fair to buy a cat that your DH wasn't comfortable around. It wouldn't be a nice environment for anybody, including the cat.
We have three, a mother and two kittens (mother abandoned when she got pregnant by people living nearby, vets were going to take her to a shelter but we asked to take her instead knowing that nobody would take a pregnant cat). I'm so glad that we got them, they are absolutely gorgeous and have really enriched our lives. One is a little black and white cat and she is stunning - so laid back and affectionate. I don't understand why black cats get left behind, I've always found them to be the most affectionate of all breeds.

ragged · 26/08/2011 13:43

They are butt-ugly so I can understand your DH not wanting to live with one.
I'll second the suggestion to get one from a shelter, instead.

ColdSancerre · 26/08/2011 13:45

I find it odd about black cats too OTHM my black cat is stunning with bright green eyes, he's an ex feral but he is huge and sleek. I love black cats and like you can't understand the superstition that still exists.

OTheHugeRaveningWolef · 26/08/2011 13:47

I think black cats are the best too. Like little holes in the universe, with two glowing eyes. Brilliant Grin

stoatie · 26/08/2011 13:57

I type this with my 2 adorable CPL gingers (brother and sister) curled up (ok taking up most of settee) next to me. We have had them three years now (they were about 2 years old when we got them) after my faithful companion Oz (also rescue cat) died aged 19. If a family pet to be adored by all and to enhance your lives (IMO) is what you are after than rescue cats are the way to go.

Yes - girl cat was nervous at first (they were abandoned and starving when CPL found them) but now she is a truly loving cat who is also an excellent fly catcher.

LaWeasel · 26/08/2011 14:01

My friend has a devon rex - plus, it doesn't set off her (serious) asthma. Negative - it is spectacularly stupid. So stupid it has to be kept as a house cat because wandering further than the end of the garden always results in life-threatening incidents. He struggles to walk in a straight line on occasion. I do quite like him though, he's a real cutie.

(Not as cute as my rescue tabby, obviously)

LadyBeagleEyes · 27/08/2011 00:19

I have a black cat, and her brother who is grey and fluffy.
Fluffy one is not the sharpest tool in the box and the black one is ten times smarter.
I looove them both of course but if your heart is set on a Devon Rex then go for it.
I do agree though with the poster ^up there, get two, a moggie and a rex.
Perfect compromise.