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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want this cat? I think DH is being vvvu.

163 replies

BerylStreep · 25/08/2011 22:33

Me & DH have agreed to get a cat, now that our DC are at an age where they can respect an animal and hopefully won't torture it.

I absolutely adore devon rexes - mainly for their huge affectionate personalities, but I also find their looks exotic yet sweet at the same time. They also have the benefit of not shedding too much.

DH, who knows nothing about cats, has refused to let me get one, saying they look like gremlins and are 'freaks of nature'.

I am really upset about his dismissive and judgmental attitude. So what if the cat looks different? It will still make a wonderful family pet - more so because they love human company. My response to him is how would he have reacted if one of our children didn't have conventional looks - he would be devastated to hear anyone making such unkind remarks.

I know it seems irrational, but I really, really want one of these cats. I am also really upset that DH is vetoing the cat based only on looks.

OP posts:
henrythecat · 25/08/2011 23:33

Please please please get a cat from a rescue centre, preferably an independent one that doesn't get the level of donations that RSPCA or CPL might.

Please consider an FIV cat too if you have the set-up for or would prefer an indoor only cat. So often, they will be the first to be put down.

Btw, takemedrunkimhome I got my cat from a rescue centre and only realised once we'd got him home and was looking through my cat book that he was a bona fide maine coon (which goes some way to explaining why he is the size of a bobcat and his somewhat regal attitude).

lachesis · 25/08/2011 23:33

Now I'm not a fan of Maine Coons, or of these rexes. Poor things, they don't have normal fur and can't tell you if/when they are cold. They look permanently frightened, too.

I like a 'normal' cat.

issey6cats · 25/08/2011 23:34

berystreep look on line for breed rescues and look maybe at rehoming a rescue devon rex, the criteria for rehoming one will be strict and you may have to wait, or get in touch with a devon rex forum as sometimes breeders take back devons they have bred and need to rehome them

Glimmerberry · 25/08/2011 23:35

Well i don't have cats out of some altruistic philanthropic love for animals, I have them because i enjoy their company and whether that means they "compliment my lifestyle" or not I don't know! My first pure breed was on recommendation from my vet when we talked about the death of my little black moggy (which yes is shorthand for mixed breed, not sure why that's offensive).

People chose dogs which fit in with their family e.g. big hounds that need a lot of walking versus little lap dogs and similarly some folk prefer very athletic playful cats versus some of the very docile lapcat breeds (some cat breeds aren't actually very independent at all). Provided you take a pet on prepared to neuter it, meets its needs and commit to caring for it for (its) lifetime then I really don't see whose business it is.

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 25/08/2011 23:36

issey - my sister has a rescue MC, she is lovely to look at but VERY unsociable! She (the cat not my sister Grin) came with a lovely white moggy male, they are inseperable, it is quite lovely to see, but then I am a cat nut!

Poor MC is only 4 (approx, rescue estimated she is around 4yo) she has a belly that literally drags on the floor when she walks. Poor girl has clearly been used as a kitten machine before she was rescued. Lovely cats now, it is a pleasure to feed them when my sis goes away! JellyBelly (the lovely lady) and the Terminator (the male hunter that will attack anything that moves!) are my cat neices and nephews Grin

lachesis · 25/08/2011 23:38

AI Shock.

Our ginger has part of his ear cut, too. The vet said, 'Oh, a CPL cat!'

But he's not feral at all. He's quite happily an indoor cat and he has terrible hunting skills :o.

issey6cats · 25/08/2011 23:38

artificial yep the bloody RSPCA is the main one im refering to, we had a nine month old lovely boy come in, the rspca (spits) took him to the vets to have an abcess treated and then when he was cured told the vet that they had no room put him to sleep, luckily vet said NO and we had a spare pen, another one the rspca inspector herself brought in a cat to us cos she was sick of being told to put to sleep perfectly healthy young friendly cats

NLatlarge · 25/08/2011 23:40

We got our cat from the CPL last year. She is a beautiful and affectionate pet and you could ask for no better cat in your home. I think it is immoral to but from a breeder when so many special and wonderful cats lack safe and loving homes.

ArtificialIntelligence · 25/08/2011 23:40

Tabula, I love the Siamese traits of my Drogba... the talkativeness, the intelligence, the independence, the sleek lines and smooth hair.

He's beautiful too.

He's a black and white rescued mog.

ArtificialIntelligence · 25/08/2011 23:43

issey, bloody R$PCA (yes, deliberate typo)!

We see it all the time too. Wink

Glimmerberry · 25/08/2011 23:44

Artificial Intelligence
i'm totally aware that there are some dodgy breeders but just as you would with any other pet it's down to individual common sense to check them out and make sure they are approved, not breeding excessively etc, isn't it?

BerylStreep
I've got an Abysinnian; this is what my vet recommended when one of my cats died as she thought this would be similar. He is very canine in the way he is trainable, knows his name, loves human contact. Very athletic too. I later got a Burmese and he's pretty true to type too, also quite canine and interested in people but more of a lapcat than an athlete. I also have a lovely rescue moggy who is sadly on her last legs having been fairly mistreated in the past and never quite fully recovered.

issey6cats · 25/08/2011 23:46

and the rspca make it almost impossible to actually rehome a cat, cant live near a road, we all live near roads, not to homes with young children,kids do well as adults if they have learnt to respect and care for animals, someone got be in all day, so no if both of you work we have people who come to us because the rspaca wouldnt even consider them, and CPL though they do a great job tend to have thier cats in foster homes and when someone enquires they quite often only show the person one cat no choice as they have decided that is the only cat for them, we have the cats in pens and apart from obvious no nos like a cat who dosent like kids,dogs other cats, we will take people into the pens of all the suitable cats/kittens that week and give people as much time as they need to find the right cat for them

henrythecat · 25/08/2011 23:51

Off topic I know and sorry for DM link (only read for sleb gossip honest) but thought you cat lovers might enjoy this

tabulahrasa · 25/08/2011 23:51

Oh I've no issue with moggies at all (which is why I also have a wee tabby) - I'm just saying that pedigree cats don't just look funny, they have personality traits.

ArtificialIntelligence · 25/08/2011 23:55

lachesis, the cat I referred to was mutilated by the CPL too. Angry

Feral my arse!

issey6cats · 25/08/2011 23:57

we occasionally have very feral cats at the center and i always feel sorry for them as been so scared they miss out on all that love thats available

NLatlarge · 26/08/2011 00:00

Issey - our cat came from CPL in York. They have pens, were very welcoming and keen to show us all the cats available for homing at that time. Our youngest daughter was two at the time and the RSPCA wouldn't consider us (which is absurd imo) but all the cats at York CPL had labels indicating used to dogs, used to kids, ok with kids of all ages etc. WE picked the cat we liked the look of, met her (total soft touch), reserved her and came back the next day with teh kids for a good play. Then they came and did a home check and we took her home the next weekend. Totally fab experience tbh.

issey6cats · 26/08/2011 00:03

thats how we operate the cats have a board on the back of the pen indicating likes dislikes, and try to match people to cats, the only one we are really strict on is if the people have a female adult cat in residence we will not rehome another adult female to them as females are dominant and it causes too many problems with territorial behaviour right off to bed now goodnight all

ChocolateTeacup · 26/08/2011 00:42

I have a rescue maine coone that I got when she was a kitten she has a wonderful temperament with me :) but woe betide any adult male to come near her

Andrewofgg · 26/08/2011 02:40

It's his home too, and a pet you don't both want is just trouble in store.

iscream · 26/08/2011 03:20

It is only fair to get a pet that you both like.

Morloth · 26/08/2011 07:49

I just don't get spending actual money on purchasing a cat.

Surely when you need a cat (and I need to have a cat), you call the local vet, say 'hey got anyone that needs a home?' and then you drop down and collect. Paying of course for the speying/vaccs etc.

It's a cat, it will eat you if you die.

Maine Coons are gorgeous, love them. But still, you can't actually buy a cat, they just turn up at the right moment, is serendipitous.

pinguwings · 26/08/2011 08:03

OP
Look here

ParisTravelodge · 26/08/2011 08:06

I had a Cornish Rex, he was lovely and they hardly shed any hair.
Get one, after a few weeks you won't notice what it looks like.
My Rex wasn't snobby, his fav food was chips n gravy!

tabulahrasa · 26/08/2011 08:11

Most dogs will eat you if you die as well, they just wait a day or so longer, lol.

My Siamese plays fetch, answers to her name ( both by coming if you call her and literally calling back to you), she runs over to greet me when I come in or get up, she frets when left alone too long, she even sits outside the bathroom door waiting for me. I have to give her medication every morning, I pick her up, put a tablet in her mouth and she obligingly swallows it for me.

The moggy, she's sweet and friendly - but not like that. If you calk her, she'll come if she feels like it, she'll let you stroke her if she feels like it and she disappears off outside for half the day and comes back to eat and sleep. She'll occasionally come and sit on you all mega purry, but it's every couple of days rather than every half hour and I dread having to give her tablets.

I was a bit Hmm at buying a cat as well, in fact I suggested a siamese to my DP thinking that paying for it would put him off, I'm a dog person more. I've always had rescue dogs and I couldn't care less about breed, but thinking about it now - I can train a dog, cats not so much, lol.

So to be honest while I like my little tabby, I'd still pay for another oriental if I was looking for another cat and I couldn't get hold of a rescue one.