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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be horrified at the idea of my DS having 3 healthy teeth ripped out in the name of 'perfection'?

179 replies

keithlemonsbackdoors · 25/08/2011 15:24

My son (nearly 16) has been offered orthodontic treatment on the NHS. Ay the first appointment they talked up how great his teeth would look after treatment, how he could have whatever colour braces he wants etc etc. No mention of pulling out teeth.

At the second appointment, after taking inpressions, x-rays etc, the orthodontist says casually (paraphrasing slightly) 'So if you can just make an appointment to have these 3 teeth extracted, thank you, lovely, bub-bye.'

Maybe I'm a bit, I don't know, overprotective? Squeamish? Mental?? But every time I think of taking him to a dentist & allowing him to go at his mouth with a pair of pliers I just want to cry. The pain, the blood, the massive gaps until his teeth are fixed... I actually cannot bear it. If he was in pain, or had massive issues about how his teeth look then I could probably get my head around it.

Truth is, he's never been THAT bothered about hs teeth (they're a bit sticky-outy - technical term I believe - because he sucked his thumb for years & a bit wonky it the bottom. When you look you can see they're not straight but you wouldn't think 'bloody hell, look at the state of his teeth!' to look at him.) but having a brace has become a bit of a fashion statement among his friends. I think he wants the brace more than he wants perfect teeth (although he's been brainwashed into thinking he NEEDS straight teeth by the orthodontist).

He also has ADD & has trouble seeing the big picture or thinking ahead. I don't think he really gets that it's a 4 year commitment, or that he will have to give up drinking coke, go to appointments every 6 wks etc. I don't really think it's fair to say no, because it's his choice to make. Also, it's now or never; we couldn't afford to have this done privately.

So am I being unreasonable in thinking I'll probably try to talk him out of it until he (hopefully) forgets about the idea?

OP posts:
Letz · 25/08/2011 21:52

"but having a brace has become a bit of a fashion statement among his friends. I think he wants the brace more than he wants perfect teeth (although he's been brainwashed into thinking he NEEDS straight teeth by the orthodontist)."

Wow you just get better don't you. A fashion statement? The orthodontist is BRAINWASHING him??? You really do have some weird ideas. I feel so, so sorry for your son. Would you talk him out of essential operations/treatments in the future in case it "causes him pain"?

TalkinPeace2 · 25/08/2011 22:01

Sun
last time I checked pictures of the work that was done on my teeth - 90 degree rotation in two planes of upper molars - was still in the text books.
Without it I would be unable to chew
and after a year of tramlines and two years of a turtle they did not actually move my front teeth!

porcamiseria · 25/08/2011 22:07

do it, its NOT for cosmetic vanity, its to sort out when they are young. I had 4 removed and braces as had too many crooked teeth, trust mew its not like a boob job vanity wise!

Hulababy · 25/08/2011 22:09

MissVerinder - the dentist has talked of coating DD's teeth once her adult teeth are through, although - fortunately - ot would seem that so far her adult teeth haven;t been affected and the ones she has so far all have proper enamel.

LessonsinL · 25/08/2011 22:11

These are your worries, not his. How would you feel if he felt the same way about you having treatment (cosmetic or otherwise)?

Let him have the treatment.

Original poster
keithlemonsbackdoors · 25/08/2011 22:12

Thank you for all your opinions & experiences.

Just when I was beginning to think that IABU, along comes Suncottage - thank you for your professional input. I think I will go back to the original orthodontist to see if he can have the brace without extractions before I go for a second opinion.

Letz - If having a brace was truly the best thing that ever happened to you, I really do feel quite sorry for you. Maybe take up a hobby.

OP posts:
Original poster
keithlemonsbackdoors · 25/08/2011 22:15

Incidentally, I haven't made my feelings known to my son. All I've said is that it's his decision & he needs to think it through carefully before he does anything.

OP posts:
breatheslowly · 25/08/2011 22:33

I have a permanent retainer on my bottom front teeth (basically a bar glued from one canine to the other) and this has stopped them from recrowding as my wisdom teeth have come through. This is really worth having as I know I wouldn't have worn a retainer reliably if it was removable. You can also have this on your top teeth. I really don't notice it.

Also there are massive queues for NHS orthodontics, so don't worry that your orthodontist is just in it for the money - they could easily choose another patient off the list if they felt that the patient was more deserving.

I had the roof of my mouth widened as well as extractions, so it might be that it isn't possible to do it just with widening, but this might be part of the care plan. Having teeth extracted isn't the end of the world and having the roof of your mouth widened is quite something - I got a retainer like brace with a little wheel in the middle which I had to turn every day and it just pushed the roof of my mouth wider. I don't know if it relies on you being still growing to do that. At 16 that might be an issue for your DS - I was 12 when I had that done (I think). Then I had to have a bar from a molar on one side to one on the other side across the roof of my mouth to keep it wide until it had settled down.

It would be worth getting him some training in brushing his teeth while he has orthodontics - my orthodontist had minions to train you and they were very insistent on you doing it. My DH has stains on his teeth from not brushing enough when he had his brace.

I think that it is worth bearing in mind that people do judge others on their teeth (whether you like it or not).

jasper · 25/08/2011 22:43

suncottage -

"This is why I look at every angle and widen the jaw to fit the teeth rather than remove healthy teeth to 'correct' the crowding."

Surely ALL orthodontists do this ? ( I am a dentist )

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 25/08/2011 23:18

breatheslowly I had one of the those retainers with the wheel in the middle and I remember it being quite painful when you adjusted it.

I wore braces on and off for 7 years and I am very glad I did. I only had one extraction which was a canine milk tooth in order to encourage the permanenet tooth to drop down straight rather than heading out of my gum sideways (it worked). I didn't need any more extractions as I am missing a premolar anyway and have no wisdom teeth (wisdomless?)

HansieMom · 25/08/2011 23:40

Suncottage, can you tell which kids were thumbsuckers just by looking at their appearance? How? I don't suppose it is anything positive.
GS age 2.10 sucks his thumb and upper jaw looks oval instead of more rounded. He will go to dentist at age three, that is standard in the states. But I worry about that thumb sucking.
When you widen the palate, does it not change the look of the individual?

jasper · 26/08/2011 08:59

Yes you can usually tell a thumb sucker(or extended dummy user) by their appearance - sometimes as soon as they walk in the door.
Widening the palate does change the look of the individual - for the better.

Suncottage do you find there is more of a problem with relapse following arch expansion?

CailinDana · 26/08/2011 09:07

I had four teeth removed to get braces and I'm delighted I did. It was a very lengthy process but it was worth every minute - people often comment on my teeth and how straight and white they are. IME bad teeth do affect a person's confidence as they get older - I know some people who never ever smile in photos as they're ashamed of their teeth, which is really sad. It's not a pleasant process by any means but I would do it again in a heartbeat.

vanfurgston · 26/08/2011 09:17

hi hansiemum thumbsuckers and long term dummy duckers have a narrow upper jaw (v shaped or oval shaped), front teeth sticking out, front teeth not overlapping (open bite), lips not meeting or straining wen u try to close them

vanfurgston · 26/08/2011 09:18

suckers duckers

kerstina · 26/08/2011 09:23

YANBU I had a brace on my top teeth and two teeth taken out from the bottom .They never bothered to put a brace on my bottom teeth so to this day my bottom front teeth are bunched up at the front and I have two spaces where my teeth were taken out. Also still had to have all 4 impacted wisdom teeth out. Although I am very fussy about my teeth as used to be a D.S.A it was only recently it started to bother me that I had two healthy teeth taken out as I do not like the feel of the gaps and I have managed to get to my age with no cavities or extractions needed. So yes go ahead with getting a 2nd opinion.

TheOriginalFAB · 26/08/2011 09:27

I have had 4 teeth removed and also had to wear a brace as I sucked my thumb. I was a removable brace but I found a way to suck my thumb while the brace was in. I don't remember when I stopped wearing the brace but I sucked my thumb until I was 23. My teeth are fine now and I am glad I had the 4 taken out.

2 of my children have busy mouths and I am prepared to hear that they might need some teeth removing. Only one child sucked his thumb and his teeth aren't sticking out now he has stopped sucking it.

HTH.

gorionine · 26/08/2011 09:27

IME orthodontist have waiting lists longer than their arms so I doubt they would insist on jobs that they actually do not need doing when their is plenty that need doing. Maybe not obvious to you that he really needs it because sometimes as parents we are a bit biased as far as our DCs are concerned? ( I suffer from the very same afflictionSmile)

To go on the line of SDTGisAnEvilGenius, and later health implicationns, maybe your Ds's 3 teeth are healthy individually but in the context of his full mouth are potentially a problem?

SardineQueen · 26/08/2011 09:31

Haven't read all thread (sorry).

Was offered braces when about 13 but declined. Never regretted it. My teeth just cross over a little at the front, they're not awful. My reasoning at 13 was there was no need as they didn't look that bad and I'm not american Grin and that still holds true TBH.

I had my wisdom teeth out as they came through wonky and got infected but that was not related to anything else, friends who have had braces have also had wisdom teeth out.

Someone upthread said not having a brace would result in a full set of dentures in 40 years - I don't expect to have a full set of dentures at 56 Confused I haven't even had a filling yet!

jasper · 26/08/2011 09:33

"busy mouths" - TheOriginalFAB, what a fab expression!

wahwahwah · 26/08/2011 09:36

Sorry - I havent read the whole thing... why are they coming out? I had my 5 teeth out when I had braces put in - 4 were milk teeth (and I was 16 at the time!) and one was one of the lower front ones because there in't room there for 4 teeth and it was pushed behind.

Dont worry about having them out - the drugs they give you are fine and I remember finding the whole procedure quite amusing (very doped up with laughing gas).

It will be all worth it!!

thekidsmom · 26/08/2011 09:38

keithlemons... can I encourage you to get a second opinion AS WELL as going back to your original guy to see if you can do it without extractions? All it will cost you is a half hour and you will get a view as to whether it really would be optimal. As I said, we got 3 opinions before we went ahead...

And the extractions were the least painful part for my DD - but the most challenging for me to sit and watch.

Bearskinwoolies · 26/08/2011 13:30

My dd (14) is currently on day 3 after having upper right 5 extracted - it is number two, of four that she'll be losing prior to orthodontic work. She's having them extracted at our dental surgery under local anesthetic.

She has inherited my dh's teeth, which are so bad that he refuses to smile properly.

On referral to the orthodontist, he was shocked to see how her teeth had come through, and has taken xrays and pictures - has told my dd that her teeth will be in a dental text/publication Hmm

She has far too many teeth, and not enough jaw; the ones being removed are so squint that they are practically sideways, and we had to apply to the local health board for authorisation as the cost is going to be so high.

Yanbu for worrying about your ds, but just because you don't think they're not that wonky, doesn't mean that they're not in need of adjustment.

beanlet · 26/08/2011 15:22

Do see if you can get his teeth straightened without the extractions, but if he really needs the extractions - still get it done. As an adult I will now have to pay privately for orthodontic treatment to get my very overcrowded, very difficult to clean, teeth straightened in order to make it easier to keep them healthy. I would never have had it done for the sake of cosmetic perfection, but I really do wish my mother had realised that overcrowding can cause such serious dental health problems (8 fillings last time...)

picnicbasketcase · 26/08/2011 15:28

I had four out when I was about 14 because I have quite a small mouth (apparently) and it was overcrowded and it did help straighten them out. I don't think the brace itself did very much because I had a very uncomfortable removeable one and I would take it out a lot.