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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To be irritated by people who say they can't lose weight?

375 replies

BeerSnake · 24/08/2011 17:00

umm just eat less and get out more. Or am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
TheSecondComing · 25/08/2011 16:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RowanMumsnet · 25/08/2011 16:17

Hi Empusa. We're not going to delete every single post that mentions the word 'troll', but it's a pretty fine line between calling someone a troll and saying that their posts are trolling. On balance, you'd always be better off reporting than posting on the thread - not least because someone at MNHQ will definitely look into it if you report, whereas if you just post on the thread it might fly under our radar, and someone who is trolling won't get dealt with.

Pan · 25/08/2011 16:19

ok. Massively disgree. "no, we don't think it's racist (or anti-Semitic) to make thoughtless/tasteless remarks about concentration camps." Quite an education.

fit2drop · 25/08/2011 16:33

Gotta disagree with HQ on this one.
I am of an age where my grandparents fought in that war. No we personally did not loose anyone through the camps but my grandad was psychologically affected for the rest of his days by what happened in the camps.
How can you justify saying its not "ist"

How about making a decision on decency, pure human decency,

Pan · 25/08/2011 16:42

good point on the 'decency' bit.

MN, IMHO get these things right esp for such a big fast-moving board on limited staff.

HeifferunderConstruction · 25/08/2011 16:44

I used to be one of these and I've lost 20lbs

haa YANBU , I think some people CAN'T because they have not leart the skills e.g. right portion size etc

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 25/08/2011 17:04

What did MrGimpy say?! I didn't see those!

MoominsAreScary · 25/08/2011 17:14

On this thread he's put no one came out of auschwitz over weight

He then started a thread AIBU to think all mn are vicious old harridans, or something like that

MissMap · 25/08/2011 17:26

Metabolism certainly has a large part to play. I have never been over weight, my sister has always been over weight. As children we were fed the same food. I am more active than her, she has always liked to sit around drawing whilst I just can not sit still. She was fat I was scrawny.

So while we were consuming the same amount of cals I burned them off and she did not.

I believe exercise makes my metabolism faster than hers. But then I can not earn a good living selling my art work and she can.

chickydoo · 25/08/2011 18:56

I may be wrong but.....I think sometimes we kid ourselves how much we do/don't eat, and how much we actually need. I think the stats say a woman of average height needs about 1800 Calories a day. A breakfast of 2 pieces of toast, butter, Jam and a milky coffee probably is about 400-500 Calories, and a couple of mid morning biscuits another 300-400. A nibble of the kids tea, a glass of wine, that leaves only about 800 Calories for a main meal....and Opps notice no lunch!
Skinny people don't/can't eat very much at all. It is not surprising that a larger person finds it hard to loose weight when an average amount of food adds up to just too many calories. If excercise is not easy, and metabolism is a bit slow, then I guess the calorie intake would have to be really low to loose any weight at all.
Now for that glass of wine,(with a few crisps) before dinner.

northernruth · 25/08/2011 19:24

AIBU to get irritated by the use of "loose" when people mean "lose"?

hmc · 25/08/2011 19:29

YABU northern - its a discussion board not a proof reading forum (good change of subject though!)

northernruth · 25/08/2011 19:35

Sorry hmc. I know I need to stop being a pedant, it's as simple as just not opening my mouth, but somehow I just can't seem to manage it.

Wink
chickydoo · 25/08/2011 19:39

Dyslexic
Really.... sorry

marriedinwhite · 25/08/2011 19:41

Can't be bothered to read any of this but I bet the OP is in her 20's. In my 20's I was a size 10 and never allowed myself to go over 8st 10lb. In my 30's it got a bit harder. After DS I got back to 8.10lb. After dd (for five weeks, I got back to 8.12lb). After I turned 40 I found keeping it under 9.5 very hard; since the start of the menopause I have found keeping it under 10.5 very hard. Bodies and what they need change over time OP.

northernruth · 25/08/2011 19:43

Wasn't aimed at anyone in particular chicky, the thread is littered with it!

Xenia · 25/08/2011 20:44

I haven 't read back on the thread but I think it is extremely important we never forget what happened in the concentration camps and to suggest they cannot be mentioned is almost anti semitic. I didn't make a comment like Ken Livingston about someone being a nazi or something which can be very offensive. I just said no one left a concentration camp fat. it's a fact. If you don't eat you lose weight.

I think it's terribly relevant to the thread given that a huge heap of (huge) British women on a daily basis con themselves that they cannot liose weight because of their metabolism, genetics, big bones and a load of other excuses. If they ate fewer calories they would weigh less. There are a few exceptions but nothing like the number who claim they have medical reasons for weight.

On the other hand I Have always said it is very very hard for many people to lose weight and it's not as simple as saying I will decide today to eat fewer calories than I expend. 90% of diet fail and people put on more than they started which actually means statistically you're better off not even starting in most cases. More women are over weight in the Uk than not now. We have reached a point where more people on the whole planet are overweight than starving which I suppose is an achievement of sorts and in the West for the first time ever in history chidlren will live less long than their parents because of obesity. The descent of man into obesity is here.

Given the rubbish most people eat it's not surprising they find it hard to lose weight. I have every sympathy with them .

However I do not think it is offensive to say in those awful awful circumstances in Germany, Japan and elsewhere when people left the camps they were all thin, even those with DNA supposedly saying they should be fat. In fact there's another thread about WWII food and during rationing in the UK we were never as healthy as a nation.

I don't regard my comment as offensive. I would like to hear why people think to say no o ne left the camps fat to illustrate the point that british women deceive themselves when they say if they reduce calories they will not get thinner is offensive. I spend a l ot of time ensuring people do remember the holocaust and it would be awful if it became such a taboo subject we were all damned for bringing it up. I know one school my children were at made a piont that no one left at 13 without having watched Schindler's List in school which was a great tradition.

The basic point stands - if you don't stuff your face you lose weight.
if I could find the magic bullet though to ensure weight loss for all I wouldn't have all this post divorce debt.

SouthernFriedTofu · 25/08/2011 20:48

We all answered your post and were deleted. So you'll have to think real hard yoursef about why your post was both ignorant and insensitive.

jasper · 25/08/2011 22:25

"if you don't stuff your face you lose weight"

I agree with you Xenia, and I am a fatty who hates being fat and is reasonably intelligent and focused in most aspects of my life but am honest enough to know that my real question to myself should not be "why can't I lose weight ?" , but "why can't I stop stuffing my face?"

rhondajean · 25/08/2011 22:31

Im a bit worried about some of the advice on here. Everyone has an individual BMR (thats a base metabolic rate) which is calculated on existing weight, activity level etc. If you drop below about 85 % of calorie intake from that your body goes into shock mode and lowers your BMR, meaning when you do start to eat a bit more again you put more weight on quickly. This is the reason a lot of dieters end up weighing more. People want a quick fix but it doesnt exist, not in the long term, and saying that if you eat fewer calories you will weigh less while strictly true is not really the full story. Your body uses up muscle before fat when in shock mode, without muslce your metabolism slows, etc.

There are a lot of REALLY bad diets for sale out there.

And the guidance on calorie intake on food etc is based on an "average" person, not gospel. Its useful to see if food is really fatty, high calorie, etc, but sticking to the 1800 - 2000 a day may just NOT work for you, but make things worse.

Xenia · 25/08/2011 22:36

I think the two questions are the same. Why do so many people continue eating when they aren't hungry? They eat for emotional reasons and to get a hit of sugar to the brain. They find some foods spike their blood sugar which causes a rush of seratonin to the brain.

What you can do is change what you eat slowly although people find that so hard so that you aren't eating any sugar rush products. Very few people get fat if they just eat 3 regular meals a day with no junk food.

A lot of British women do not eat enough protein but absolutely masses of bread, chocolate, cakes. iron levels are often too low.

You lose weight if you expend more calories than you eat. It is much easier to do that by eating better foods than by exercise which most peiople don't keep up although both are very good.

( I am sorry if anything were deleted. I would never ask for that to be deleted. Freedom of speech is really important. I would never be troubled by comments against me on line either. I would hate to live in a country where people could not preach that homosexuality is wrong or that women should be in the kitchen (or men) or that the holocaust never happened.)

Empusa · 25/08/2011 22:37

"if you don't stuff your face you lose weight."

I don't "stuff my face" as you so eloquently put it, and I don't magically lose weight either.

northernruth · 25/08/2011 22:42

"if you don't stuff your face you lose weight."

That's nonsense. If you don't stuff your face you won't put on weight, but if you are already overweight you would need to create a calorie deficit in order to lose weight i.e. eat less than you expend. If you don't do that knowingly or in a well informed manner you will by definition get hungry. It's hard.

People get fat by stuffing their faces - they stay fat because they can't reduce their intake to what is required to lose.

sunshineandbooks · 25/08/2011 22:53

We have no problem accepting that some people are naturally skinny, so why the problem with accepting that some people are naturally larger? You can be up to 2 stone overweight before there are any health implications, and if your diet is good and your exercise regime is adequate you can be larger again and still be in better health than someone at optimum weight with a poor diet/no exercise.

Firstly we have to redefine 'fat' in terms of affecting health, not appearance.

That said, I'm not one of these people who believes that any size is ok. True obesity is life-threatening and pretending that being significantly overweight is ok is as stupid as pretending that an anorexic size 0 is desirable.

I'm a size 10. My best friend is a 16-18. She tries really hard and sticks at it for many weeks at a time. The trouble is that it comes off a lot more slowly than it goes on, and if you've only lost 4lb after a month of dieting it's incredibly demoralising and easy to see why people fail. I don't judge her for it, I reserve that for people who base people's worth on what they look like.

ShirleyKnot · 25/08/2011 22:54

Xenia

Your comparison between concentration camp victims (you know? those who were fucking well STARVED TO DEATH by nazi bastards) and those who struggle to lose weight in today's society is so deeply offensive as to be worthy of a

Grip the fuck up. FFS