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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be miffed that partner gave his ex wife a lift

53 replies

OnlyHuman · 23/08/2011 00:30

Would it bother you if your partner's ex wife was taking their child on a holiday and your partner picked her up and gave them both a lift to the trainstation?

OP posts:
FreudianSlipper · 23/08/2011 00:32

no

and i hope it does not bother the ex's partner (or when he has one) as he always takes us to the airport and picks us up, its about ds not me

SpeedyGonzalez · 23/08/2011 00:33

We've only been married to each other, so my reply is purely theoretical.

I think I'd wonder why she couldn't arrange a taxi/ lift with someone else. Is that what your concerns are?

lovecat · 23/08/2011 00:34

Erm... no. It's his child. Who happens to be going away with his mother, your partner's ex.

What exactly do you think is going to happen?

MJHASLEFTTHEBUILDING · 23/08/2011 00:34

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MJHASLEFTTHEBUILDING · 23/08/2011 00:35

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Original poster
OnlyHuman · 23/08/2011 00:36

Well he was taking the child to the station anyway and was almost passing ex wife's house so picked her up on the way too. I suppose it makes sense, just if that was me I'd have made my own way there.

OP posts:
TheFrogs · 23/08/2011 00:37

I dont have a partner at the moment but no, it wouldn't bother me one bit.

I dont see the problem if they're on good terms, why not?

MrsRhettButler · 23/08/2011 00:38

No, it's his business if he gives her a lift anywhere...

MJHASLEFTTHEBUILDING · 23/08/2011 00:38

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Original poster
OnlyHuman · 23/08/2011 00:40

well its funny how he always makes out to me that he hates her and can't stand to be around her yet behind my back he's organising lifts etc with her. Why say one thing and then act differently behind my back?

OP posts:
carpwidow · 23/08/2011 00:40

I'm a bit lost now OnlyHuman- is this an older child who was going to station anyway?

TheFrogs · 23/08/2011 00:40

ok, bit confused by that last post.

Original poster
OnlyHuman · 23/08/2011 00:41

yes the child is 14 and lives with him. He was taking her to the station, I just don't see why they couldn't meet her mother there.

OP posts:
DogsBestFriend · 23/08/2011 00:43

No. The child is HIS, they both have a responsibility for him/her and so there's no reason why he shouldn't take his child to the station together with the person who was taking said child on holiday. That the person happens to be his ex and mother of the child is entirely understandable.

Look at it the other way. What would the response be if a mum said that their ex wouldn't take their own child to the station to go on holiday because the new DP didn't like him taking her as well?

MJHASLEFTTHEBUILDING · 23/08/2011 00:43

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carpwidow · 23/08/2011 00:44

..completely changes the scenario then and now seems perfectly reasonable to me. Perhaps the child arranged for her mother to be picked up.

MrsReasonable · 23/08/2011 00:44

No, it wouldn't, because I am an adult and my partner is an adult and we treat each other as such.

carpwidow · 23/08/2011 00:45

...and how do you know he picked her up on the way to the station OnlyHuman?

TheFrogs · 23/08/2011 00:46

I still dont see the problem, she's the mother of his child.

Original poster
OnlyHuman · 23/08/2011 00:46

I asked him. He wouldn't have told me otherwise.

OP posts:
FreudianSlipper · 23/08/2011 00:47

do you prefer it when he is slagging off his ex. maybe he has mixed emotions towards her that does not mean he wants to be with her but is still angry about the situation

what are you worried about they might be getting on, is it so bad that they might actually be friends. i went away with my ex nothing happened it is possible to get on with your ex and be friends and still be annoyed with them at times becasue of the connection - your child

carpwidow · 23/08/2011 00:47

I also note that you say "...the child lives with HIM" and not "...with US". I take it that you and your partner don't live together them? Sorry, not prying but trying to answer the OP.

DogsBestFriend · 23/08/2011 00:48

I cross posted and the last bit of my post is therefore irrelevant. The first isn't though.

So to answer you - no, unless HE has a bloody good reason not to pick up the ex, remembering that she is taking THEIR child on hols and isn't asking for a lift to the hairdressers, he would be childish to refuse.

TheFrogs · 23/08/2011 00:51

Would you be so unhappy if he gave a friend a lift to the airport?

sniffy · 23/08/2011 00:59

i'd be pleased

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