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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be unhappy about a large unwanted gift for my DD?

150 replies

piedleger · 22/08/2011 00:23

A relative has bought a 6ft trampoline for my DD, who is two and a half. It's actually for age 3+ but that's not the problem. They didn't ask us if we wanted her to have it beforehand (it's not even her birthday for months) or whether we were happy to have such a big object in our garden. It's really heavy and can't be deconstructed to store away. It took 2 hours for my poor DH to put up with much help and he only put it together out of politeness as they were here, plus my DD saw what it was so there was no stopping it really.
My DH is actually pretty precious about the lawn, which he spends hours on and is convinced that it'll be ruined now so is having a massive sulk about the whole thing and I'm bearing the brunt of this. Oh joy!
I'm not ungrateful about presents and realise that this wasn't cheap, but I feel that it was quite thoughtless to not check our feelings on the matter first for such a big gift, especially as it's now causing friction between my DH and I.
We didn't reject it when they brought it over as I was worried about hurting their feelings and cause a family rift (this relative can be overly sensitive at times), but instead I'm ending up feeling stressed - sigh.
The upside is that my DD loves it, of course, but she does already have countless other toys, inc garden ones, that she loves...
Anyway, feeling a bit better just typing this post, still p*ssed off though!

OP posts:
lisad123 · 22/08/2011 08:54

I think your both being unreasonable. It's a present for your dd and clearly she loves it and it's better for her to get exercise than sit all day watching DVDs ect.
Your dh should have considered the fact you have a child, you will find out quick enough a great lawn isn't possible especially as they get older.
Stop being so grumpy and look at the joy on dds face Grin

NonnoMum · 22/08/2011 09:00

YANBU!

Trampolines are the ugliest things to have in your garden and also massive.

It's also pretty inconsiderate of your relatives to give such a status present without consulting you the parents.

Yup - pack it away in the autumn.

Applemartini · 22/08/2011 09:01

YANBU. Our house is crammed to the rafters with huge, generously donated gifts. I totally understand that they are presents for the kids, and that relatives are being generous but I also wonder if someone would like to gift us the enormous mansion in which all of this can be accommodated. Next Christmas give them a giant garden gnome or something which they can try to find a spot for in their garden.

sue52 · 22/08/2011 09:02

Your relative should have checked with you before buying. I might sound like a grouch but I don't believe in presents being given when it's not a special occasion. As to the lawn, well it grows back. Perfect lawns and active children do not mix.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 22/08/2011 09:03

I feel your pain. I have relations that just don't think these things through either (we were living in tiny flat and were given a pram which didn't fit through the doorways, it was so massive!)

I'd be gutted if someone bought my dcs a trampoline. Despite having quite a good sized garden now, it is on different levels and divided up. So there are only so many places I can put the paddling pool in the summer/small bouncy castles on birthdays/put out the sunloungers if we have people over/barbeque etc. If someone bought us a trampoline we wouldn't be able to do those things anymore unless we took it apart each time which sounds like it's a huge hassle. I would NOT be pleased.

I think that's the thing with these trampolines, they take up such a huge space that they make smaller gardens useless for anything else.

What's your garden like? Do you have enough room left for other things?

Must say though that your DH is being a bit of a twat about the grass.

GettinTrimmer · 22/08/2011 09:04

YANBU, and my dh would sympathise especially with how difficult it is to construct! Something that big should be discussed with you beforehand.

However.....my dd are older, 6 and 9, when we moved house we persuaded them it's a good thing and they can have a trampoline. It's the best thing we have bought, and they get hours of fun from it.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 22/08/2011 09:05

lisad123 It's a present for your dd and clearly she loves it and it's better for her to get exercise than sit all day watching DVDs ect.

Who says she sits and watches DVDs all day?!?! It's not DVDs verses trampoline you know. I'm sure the dd already gets exercise and as the OP said already has garden toys she loves.

Whatmeworry · 22/08/2011 09:06

Kids love trampolines and destroy lawns :)

pigletmania · 22/08/2011 09:09

Yanbu they should have consulted you about an item like that. However it's here now and seems cruel to take it away, unlike bits of plastic, it's something that kids will love for ages. Re the lawn, you have kids so it's going to get weare and tear, can't stop them playing, your dh is going to have to suck it up

ShoutyHamster · 22/08/2011 09:12

'By the way, now that DD isn't around, could I just make it clear that in future we would appreciate it if you checked with us before giving gifts in front of her. We wouldn't necessarily have chosen to have something so large in the garden and actually neither of us think that they are very safe for that age group. I'd hate for DD to be disappointed in front of you next time. Oh, and we wanted to ask - about winter storage - we don't have the room, so we'll have to bring it back to you - we were thinking of taking it down at the end of the month so let us know when we can drop it round. I know, it's HUGE isn't it? One of those things you really have to plan for, you know whether you have room to store it etc. But I'm sure you considered that when you bought it? No? Really? ' :)

VivaLeBeaver · 22/08/2011 09:13

We have a trampoline and have just accepted that the grass under it dies off. We leave it in one place now after we realised that moving it around trying to save the grass wasn't really working. DD loves it and it is very good exercise.

pigletmania · 22/08/2011 09:13

Wish a relative would buy a trampoline fir us so we would be forced to put it up. My dh is like yours, but I love the things and so does dd, unfortunately she only plays on them when we go to friends houses

ShoutyHamster · 22/08/2011 09:14

Oh and BTW - the grass - your DH is being a knob. He has no lawn... he has children instead. Sorry, that's an either/or situation, not rocket science to work that one out, and no it's not somehow your fault either, so tell him to grow up!!

ragged · 22/08/2011 09:15

Sunken trampolines are a pain, we have one and I don't recommend at all.

Whatmeworry · 22/08/2011 09:16

...and buy their kids a Drum Kit. Sorted :o

pigletmania · 22/08/2011 09:16

I think you can get trampoline covers for the winter

halcyondays · 22/08/2011 09:16

YABU, never met a child who didn't live trampolines. Your dh is bu to be so precious about his lawn.

hopenglory · 22/08/2011 09:18

We have one - its the best thing ever, the kids just love it and spend hours on it, we never pack it away so they bounce all winter too - and the grass has never died off underneath it. I would have loved it even more if somebody else had paid for it too

exoticfruits · 22/08/2011 09:20

Going back to biddysmama-why don't you take it around to MIL's house, smile and say 'we thought it would be lovely for you to have here for when DC visits?'

Ragwort · 22/08/2011 09:21

YANBU - I would be absolutely furious too - and I quite understand if your DH wants to enjoy his lawn/garden without a monstrosity of a trampoline in it - how lucky you are to have a DH who enjoys gardening Grin.

I think it is totally unthoughtful when people give children big/expensive/inappropriate presents without consulting the parents. I am sure my DS would love an X-box or similar but I would be very annoyed if someone bought him one - it doesn't matter if its a trampoline or a computer gadget or a bike etc - parents need to decide if they want/need these sorts of things in their childrens' lives.

pigletmania · 22/08/2011 09:21

The friends who have them also like them and kids of all ages bounce all year round, winter has never stopped them

sausagesandmarmelade · 22/08/2011 09:23

Your DD loves it....and that's what counts.

Let her enjoy it and then pack it away for the Autumn..........

I'm sure it was given with the best of intentions...and I think you are being rather ungrateful.

sherbetpips · 22/08/2011 09:25

We just moved to a house with a smaller garden but my son loves his trampoline so ism putting up with the eye sore for now x

Mitmoo · 22/08/2011 09:28

Son's trampoline is probably one of the best things I've ever bought him, he has had literally hours and hours of fun and they don't bread (crossing fingers) Great exercise for us too.

Mitmoo · 22/08/2011 09:28

break whoops.