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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu....is too blinking hard too get a job that fits in with children!

234 replies

Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 13:25

a little bit of back story

I've worked all my life started when I was 12 earning money to pay for my horse (it was no job, no horse in my house) all fine.
Left school and started working full time as well as doing a full time college course, fell pengant at 18 and left college (horses and not safe to conitinue)
Had baby went to work as a nurse fine for a few years, ended up leaving due to health reasons.

Went back to work as a home carer which I did for 4 years, lovely at first but as time went on it really started to get to me that I was treated as a slave/maid/bit of scum by both the people I looked after, their family and the office. Ie went to make someone tea, only to find family had done a full 3 course Sunday dinner and left ALL the washing up for me, even though 8 family members had been there.
Ended up again leaving with health issues

Got my self back together and I find a job that fits in with c/care. No I tried working for a retail shop for a few months but got moaned at because I couldn't work Saturday's (even though it was a weekday post) and then after school club was costing me 400 a month when I was only bringing in 700. And on top of that benefits were cut, so I was actully losing money at the end of the month.

And now I can't find a job that fits in without having to use c/care. All jobs seem to want you to work on Saturday's which I can't do as dp has too work, evening work would be ok, but then I don't have bar skills etc, or working as a home carer, which I really don't want to do.

Why is it so hard to find a job, that just fits in with child care! Really need the money but every time I call up a job I get shot back because of having kids!

I can't even get a get a job during school hours because 1 there aren't any and b I'm then stuck at holiday time.

AIBU just to stay at home and claim benefits and say sod it to the job world.

OP posts:
twinklytroll · 21/08/2011 22:26

To be fair to the OP it is scary.

I can remember seeing the teaching job advertised, I wasn't looking for work but someone mentioned it to me and I then checked. I had to hand in my application by the end of that week and was the interviewed on the Monday. This was at the end of the Christmas term to start in January.

I can remember saying to dp that I could not apply for the job as I had not sorted childcare, I lacked confidence and went through a whole line of "what ifs" like the OP. I got the job and then spent a week phoning round nurseries and childminders absolutely distraught and thinking what have I done. It was then Christmas so every was shut. In some ways it was remarkably stupid to take the job with no childcare but sometimes you just have to act and then sort it out after.

BimboNo5 · 21/08/2011 22:28

Im confused OP. Are you a nurse or not?
I did homecare. Once with the local authority and another time with a private agency. Some of the clients were a little 'awkward' but nothing like you describe. I cant help but feel the pudding has been a little over egged to provide you with yet another reason why you CANNOT do any kind of work thats available to you.

Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 22:41

I said earlier i was a hca at the hospital then went into home care

And def have not over egged the fucking pudding. But of course you of course no better, some people are horrid, some are lovely and want to spend hours in there company reading them the paper or a face book etc. However some of the ones I come across weren't so nice and after 3 enquires with the cqc and local police I wanted out. And I'm within my right to do so.

I would happily do any fucking work, I'd shovel shit with my bare hands but I will not go back into homecare

OP posts:
Scuttlebutter · 21/08/2011 22:48

OP, you are coming across as being quite negative.

Have you considered dog walking? Generally here (S Wales) the rate is £10 per hour, and is done mainly during the day, during the week. Very little outlay, except your public liability insurance.

How about an ironing business at home? Or cleaning?

September is coming up - why not enrol for a European Computer Driving Licence? V useful qualification.

I got a lovely second job earlier this year through an agency - part time work in a university library. After a few months, a permanent position came up and I was successful. The hours are term time only, and I do Sunday afternoons, an two weekday evenings a week. A lot of the people I work with are parents with small children who find the hours work well for them. Are there any employment agencies in your town you can sign up with? Are you receiving the vacancy bulletins from the local authority, and other local public sector employers? Most of them allow you to sign up for email alerts for vacancies.

Good luck.

Katisha · 21/08/2011 22:49

Yep that european computer thing is useful.

Why are you doing a university access course - what for specifically?

Sidge · 21/08/2011 22:50

Just to be predantic - you shouldn't be referring to yourself as a nurse/having been a nurse/done nursing if you weren't a registered nurse. I know it's not yet a protected title (the sooner it is the better IMO) but you are misleading people.

Anyway stop looking for reasons you can't work and look for things you CAN do. I appreciate times are hard and your health needs make it more difficult but if you come across in interviews or on applications like you have done on here you're not doing yourself any favours.

You are having a laugh if you think you will earn 200 pounds a week working 3 days within school hours and term time only. You need to explore other childcare options apart from afterschool club. I understand you can't work weekends (I wouldn't be able to either) so start looking for admin work for small companies that work Monday to Friday. Look for agency work where you stipulate what days and hours you can do. Not all care work will be like what you have experienced. You can get part time jobs looking after people in their own homes on a private employ basis, especially people with disabilities. Get the local papers, look in the windows of the newsagents and try and put yourself out there a bit.

Teachermumof3 · 21/08/2011 22:56

predantic

Snigger

Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 22:56

Sidge
I can work from 7 every week day to 12 at night 3 days week

From 7 till 2.45 two days

And all day on Sunday

I know the nurse name thing, just habit from around me, no hspital etc, keep on getting called it and picked up a bad habit.

OP posts:
BimboNo5 · 21/08/2011 22:58

Confused are you pissed OP?

Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 22:59

Pissed off

OP posts:
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 22:59

Can't drink cos of meds

OP posts:
CardyMow · 21/08/2011 23:01

I am having the same problem - I can't fit both my DS's into the after-school club on the same days (?!), and no childminders in our area do school pick-ups, they only have them until school age. I WOULD be worse off in the short term working, as Nursery fees for DS3 are criminal, but if I can't get ANY childcare for a 9yo and a 7yo, how can I work??

I'm still applying for jobs though, just hoping I don't have to turn any down (ha! likely...NOT), due to lack of childcare.

As for Asda being parent-friendly - HA! again. I have worked for them in the past - I was on a 22.5hr/wk contract, but working 60+ hrs (had to sign opt-out clause for working hours directive or they wouldn't offer the job...). And the Saturday thing pisses me off too - none of the nurseries here do Saturdays, nor do the after-school clubs. So when they say you will have to be available to cover Saturdays - how do you answer when you know DAMN WELL you just CAN'T? I'm an LP with no family to help - I can't leave the dc alone FFS. I can't do short notice, in fact I can only work my contracted hours now, so I'm finding it really hard to get a job.

And that's even without bringing my disability into matters, I won't even talk about that until I'm OFFERED a job now that I don't have to. But it stops me from working nights (too much strain on my system, my Neuro won't sign me as fit for night work OR FT work, only PT work). Who the hell will employ me?

Still looking though. These Zero-hours contracts have become endemic lately, as has employers expecting you to cover sickness at the last minute, or having to work one weekend day when they KNOW there's no childcare. So whilst it's not overtly discriminatory against parents, in all honesty, it IS discriminatory. Good luck proving it though....

Oh, and I'm not allowed to do care work because of the risk of me having a seizure whilst caring for someone vulnerable. Which seems to be all that's available. Hmm

OP - I fully sympathise, if both you and your DP are working FT for min wage, you would have a combined income of only £24K pa BEFORE tax. Does that mean you aren't allowed a second dc just because you're not able to earn a high enough income? Bollox. Sorry, to those of you out there with money, but that's just WRONG. Oh so OP is poor, and TTC. Well she can't, despite the fact her DP works FT, because he doesn't earn enough, and they have to claim TC's. Oh get off your high horse. I can understand that in MY situation, where I have 4 dc already, that if I go back to work then TTC (which I won't do, I'm counting down the 2 yrs till my PCT will agree for me to be sterilised, and not going within 10 feet of a bloke till then!) , THAT would be irresponsible, as I already have more than the 'average' amount of dc. But come on, the OP only has ONE dc. Or are the working poor not allowed to have more two dc if they have to claim ANY benefits? What about all of you on here with 2/3/4 dc that are 'whining' about losing your Child Benefit soon? Should YOU have not had any more than 1 dc because you can't afford it without the ChB? No? Then stop ragging on the OP.

It CAN be almost impossible for someone in OP's situation to go back to college to improve their qualifications - no help with childcare whether you're on benefits OR your DP is working, no help with the course fees either, and If your DP is on a low income (as OP's MUST be to get WTC, he has to be on less than £17.7K pa before tax for a FT job), there IS no money for college. I should know, it's what I was trying to do before Ex-DP left.

Now I'm trying to get a job with no qualifications, having been out of work for over 3 yrs, due to my last place of employment closing down, my disability AND having a baby. An attractive employee? I think not. I probably wouldn't employ me, even WITH all my references stating what a hard worker I am!

Sidge · 21/08/2011 23:01

Teacher Blush at my typo Grin that'll teach me to type quickly and not check!

Sorry Mucky that wasn't clear from your posts. I must have misunderstood when you said you could work, I thought you'd said three days a week only, school hours.

That opens up your possibilities immensely if you can do all those potential hours.

BimboNo5 · 21/08/2011 23:01

Im just finding it hard to make sense of a lot of things to be honest

BimboNo5 · 21/08/2011 23:03

What about nursery/pre school assistant? You could get reduced cost childcare that way...

Katisha · 21/08/2011 23:04

FInal try :

What are you hoping to do with the uni access course? To do what?

Why not get a specific IT skill like the European Computer Driving License which will open up your options rather than a somewhat vague uni access course which "includes" it but will not be a lot of use on a CV.

What sort of jobs are you currently sending CVs to and do you need to change tack,maybe after some specifically targetted training?

Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 23:16

Sorry missed katisha, missed your other post, not 100% sure on what I want to do at uni, the course I'm doing covers a wide range teaching, legal, so I thought I'd get a feel first before I decide I've got 2 1/2 years yet.

They do a 12 week it course for free which I'm taking on, not sure what the title is, will look it up.

I have to do the access course as it's all that's on offer locally. And don't fancy the home courses cos of help not being there for you.

OP posts:
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 23:17

Loud lass

Thank you so much, so much better put then me!

OP posts:
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 23:18

Sorry for spelling/grammar on old laptop and it inputs/changes words willy nilly.

OP posts:
WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 22/08/2011 08:39

Wow Loudlass! Well put!

Mucky It's so hard isn't it. Like I said, I work from home on an hourly basis but if it wasn't for that I don't know what I would do. Although saying that after maternity leave (and not being allowed to work much whilst on Maternity allowance) I have lost all my clients so about to start from scratch again!

ssd · 22/08/2011 09:32

op, yanbu

Shutupanddrive · 22/08/2011 10:04

YANBU, if you can afford to live on one wage until the children are older that's up to you. Not sure there are any benefits you can actually claim though as your DP works full time. I'm not working atm as finding that the cost of childcare, plus petrol etc doesn't make it worth it for what I would be paid (live in remote area)
I went back to work full time after I had ds1, and really struggled, especially when he was ill, as still had to pay nursery, but of course didn't get paid myself as I couldn't go to work. Also DP worked away a lot and weekends so i couldn't rely on him to help at all really. After having ds2 I decided to wait until he is a bit older and can go to playgroup before I go back to work. It's also nice to have this time at home with him, as I don't think we will be having any more.

If you are planning more children though, remember you will not be entitled to any maternity pay if you don't go back to work.

hester · 22/08/2011 10:53

It IS hard, OP, it really is. It sounds as if you have very limited options where you are.

You've had some good advice on this thread. Some posters have shown how, with energy and commitment, you can find ways forward. Up to you to decide whether putting up with shitty pay/conditions now is an investment worth making in your future career.

oh, and I agree with aliceliddell's points that this is a wider political issue. The solutions lie not just in transforming the world of work, but in transforming parenting and gender roles.

aliceliddell · 22/08/2011 10:59

Loving the idea of signing the opt out of the working hours directive. So much for European red tape that stifles enterprise. Those pesky unions might be halfway useful sometimes.

aliceliddell · 22/08/2011 11:01

Oh, thanks hester! I knew it was only a matter of time until my genius was recognised.