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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu....is too blinking hard too get a job that fits in with children!

234 replies

Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 13:25

a little bit of back story

I've worked all my life started when I was 12 earning money to pay for my horse (it was no job, no horse in my house) all fine.
Left school and started working full time as well as doing a full time college course, fell pengant at 18 and left college (horses and not safe to conitinue)
Had baby went to work as a nurse fine for a few years, ended up leaving due to health reasons.

Went back to work as a home carer which I did for 4 years, lovely at first but as time went on it really started to get to me that I was treated as a slave/maid/bit of scum by both the people I looked after, their family and the office. Ie went to make someone tea, only to find family had done a full 3 course Sunday dinner and left ALL the washing up for me, even though 8 family members had been there.
Ended up again leaving with health issues

Got my self back together and I find a job that fits in with c/care. No I tried working for a retail shop for a few months but got moaned at because I couldn't work Saturday's (even though it was a weekday post) and then after school club was costing me 400 a month when I was only bringing in 700. And on top of that benefits were cut, so I was actully losing money at the end of the month.

And now I can't find a job that fits in without having to use c/care. All jobs seem to want you to work on Saturday's which I can't do as dp has too work, evening work would be ok, but then I don't have bar skills etc, or working as a home carer, which I really don't want to do.

Why is it so hard to find a job, that just fits in with child care! Really need the money but every time I call up a job I get shot back because of having kids!

I can't even get a get a job during school hours because 1 there aren't any and b I'm then stuck at holiday time.

AIBU just to stay at home and claim benefits and say sod it to the job world.

OP posts:
Wantingsun · 21/08/2011 20:05

Yes I have, now where those particular men are concerned, it needs reporting to authorities.

But not all people in care are sexual preadators.

Where the shouting and aggro comes from, unfortunately this is a symptom of dementia, and is common in people who require care, but it is not personal, and should be ignored.

I don't think you should be having meds lower as the condition for you ttc, I think it should be having the ability to provide for the children you have and any future children before ttc.

Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 20:12

Want

It's not just the men, the women treat you the same apart from the sexual bit.

And I think you find that's what I'm trying to do.

Sticky how much was the start up costs if you don't mind me asking

OP posts:
EssentialFattyAcid · 21/08/2011 20:13

How about a combination of cleaning/ironing/gardening/dog walking/babysitting?

How much do you need to earn per week to make it worth your while working OP?

Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 20:15

The people with dementia are fine I understand that.

It's the people who are fit, well and able that I do. We used to do a lot of reablement.

Now when you turn up and they are dancing around the house and then can't even pick up a cup 2 mins later, that's not helping them, and it's treating the care staff like slaves

OP posts:
Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 20:18

About 200

OP posts:
EssentialFattyAcid · 21/08/2011 20:21

Cleaning pays around £10/hr so 10 x 2 hour cleaning jobs per week, 20 hours work in total, no childcare would do it - hard work though - would this be too much for you with health probs?

HappyMummyOfOne · 21/08/2011 20:22

Thats a lot for just wanting to do 3 days a week, particularly as you havnt worked in a while so will need to start on a low salary. What amount will you need to clear once there is the second baby in the picture?

Wantingsun · 21/08/2011 20:24

Mon - 8 hour shift
Tues - 5 hour shift
Wed - 5 hour shift
Thur - 8 hour shift
Fri - 8 hour shift
Sun - 8 hour shift
Total 42 hour a week

I would not say that you can only do 3 days a week. Say you are available 6 days a week.

Then negotiate hours or discuss hours once at interview stage.

notlettingthefearshow · 21/08/2011 20:30

Muckyhighchair - I do feel for you, as it sounds a difficult situation, and very frustrating for you. Especially difficult with your health to consider. I have several relatives with health problems which mean they are very limited with what they can offer workwise (and they don't even have kids). People do tend to judge them unless they understand the full situation (benefits, side effects of medication, limited skills due to health issues).

Have you looked into working from home? It's rarely that well paid, but you could control your own hours and avoid paying for childcare. Proofreading and editing are common ones, but I'm sure there must be a lot more.

Are there any cafes etc near you that might want an extra pair of hands just for the lunch time rush, eg. 11-2? You would normally get training on the job. It might be worth going and asking outright rather than waiting for it to be advertised.

How could you make yourself more employable for the future? Say you leave the jobhunting for 6-12 months, stay on benefits and perhaps try to find a way to build skills or qualifications for the future. Try to aim for a certain type of job at least, one that would fit your qualities as well as your lifestyle. Work can and should be enjoyable, and it can give you confidence as well as an independent income.

It is really time consuming and soul destroying looking for work. Keep encouraging yourself, and make sure you take care of yourself and your family in the meantime. I wish you the best of luck.

johnthepong · 21/08/2011 20:31

This thread is incredibly irritating.
When you apply for jobs, you talk about everything you CAN do. Dont ever talk about what you cant do until you are offered the job.
Dont worry about childcare until you are offered a job, you know the hours and then you can find childcare. You could always use a childminder or even have an arrangement with another mum at school where your son goes to a friends house one night a week and you have a friend back another night a week.
I have never applied for a job worrying about childcare. My husband works away pretty much every week so I am on my own during the week. Once I have the job, then I find childcare. You have a very negative attitude OP.

I spent the last year paying for childcare for 2 under 5s whilst not bringing much money home. It was tight, but it got better. I use a range of childcare options- after school club, childminder, neighbours, friends parents.

Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 20:31

Yes in ideal world great but the Saturday issue keeps on coming up,

I've already said a few times I would got x job if Saturday wasn't an issue. Hence my problem and reason for this thread

OP posts:
prettyfly1 · 21/08/2011 20:35

Mucky forgive me for missing something (the thread is six pages long now and I dont want to read every single post again apologies) and making you repeat yourself but why cant you do saturdays. If you are turning a profit for every other day you do (so for instance you do monday and tuesday without needing childcare which means you take home x amount minus any tax) and you only have to pay for childcare on a sat, which means you wont make anything for that day, which is gutting, but does mean you can have a job, restart a career path and carry your own weight financially, is it really a prob? Is it that there are no childminders around on a sat? Could you ask a friend to help?

Wantingsun · 21/08/2011 20:39

How many Saturdays would they want you to work?

Would it be every Saturday?

If adhoc and say once a month i.e. 12 times a year could your partner not book leave for those days.

Could you try to find a 6th former/uni student, that would be happy with the adhoc situation to do childcare on the Saturdays when your partner can't take holiday.

It only seems that it is cover they are after not you working every saturday. Is there not a friend that you could arrange that they have child on an adhoc saturday, and you have the child over to play on another saturday, even if the parent doesn't work on Saturday, it can be great to have a day to go shopping to do housework with free childcare.

Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 20:40

I do talk about what I can do, but there is no were around it on Saturday's

I apply for a job that fits in, perfect, great job, tick tick tick. Then boss says how about working at short notice, I say fine, then they say what about Saturday's, I have to say I can't to it. I can't lie

My issue is with these jobs that state it is weekday only then want to work Saturday's when there short staffed. It may not even happen but yet because it isn't option I get past over.

That is not my fault, that is why I started this thread

The other reason is child care costs seem high and yet the wage is low

OP posts:
BimboNo5 · 21/08/2011 20:40

Has your nursing registration lapsed? As there are plenty of agencies crying out for workers, you can pick and choose your hours too.

BimboNo5 · 21/08/2011 20:43

Well I hate to say it but the rest of us have to work things out regarding childcare, costs etc. Suck it up.

Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 20:45

I don't have any child friends, not long moved in the area, from north to south of the town for dp job and ds has moved school. At the old school the mums didn't really seem to want to etc c/care. Don't really know any one at the new school yet

As for childminding I said I would into it, and as it being Sunday, will wait till tomoz as getting late too.

I've never really trusted babysitters etc, as had family, till they moved any. Something I have to think about, but I would prefer it on professional level.

OP posts:
Wantingsun · 21/08/2011 20:47

For something that may not even happen I wouldn't turn a job down.

And is there no chance of your partner ever having Saturday off as leave?

Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 20:50

Bimbo

And what about Saturday issue?
And the issue of 45+ applicants for 1 bar job, who have exp

I send out 12+ cvs a week which is pretty much every job that comes up in my area, plus phone calls, etc to applicants to try and an interview. Plus follow up phone calls,

I've said before that I don't mind paying for c/care I went back to work at one place in town and was brining in less a month then not working. So I've got find a balance between work and c/care costs and benefit drop

OP posts:
Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 20:52

It's me turning them, it's them turning me down.

No dp work is set in stone. Only allowed 8 sats off a year and a/leave has to fit around it. Not really fair but he has got a good job which has a lot scope and the type of work he does Saturday's are his busiest.

OP posts:
Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 20:57

It's not me turning them down

Sorry

OP posts:
emmanumber3 · 21/08/2011 21:06

If you are a nurse could you work night shifts in a hospital or care home? As night shifts are longer full time is generally 4 nights per week - giving you 3 nights off. If your DCs are in school this could work well as you can then sleep during the day - harder if you have a pre-schooler I grant you! Grin

Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 21:12

I have meds to take at night that make me sleepily so couldn't possibly work nights, otherwise issue solved

Thank you though

OP posts:
microfight · 21/08/2011 21:13

but you CAN work Saturday night....forgive me but bar jobs aren't interested in those that can work Saturday day, they want people who can work Saturday night...you CAN work Saturday night...you are a bar employers dream..

BimboNo5 · 21/08/2011 21:17

You sound to me like you dont really want to work if im blatantly honest. You didnt answer about joining a nursing agency- why could you not do that?