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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu....is too blinking hard too get a job that fits in with children!

234 replies

Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 13:25

a little bit of back story

I've worked all my life started when I was 12 earning money to pay for my horse (it was no job, no horse in my house) all fine.
Left school and started working full time as well as doing a full time college course, fell pengant at 18 and left college (horses and not safe to conitinue)
Had baby went to work as a nurse fine for a few years, ended up leaving due to health reasons.

Went back to work as a home carer which I did for 4 years, lovely at first but as time went on it really started to get to me that I was treated as a slave/maid/bit of scum by both the people I looked after, their family and the office. Ie went to make someone tea, only to find family had done a full 3 course Sunday dinner and left ALL the washing up for me, even though 8 family members had been there.
Ended up again leaving with health issues

Got my self back together and I find a job that fits in with c/care. No I tried working for a retail shop for a few months but got moaned at because I couldn't work Saturday's (even though it was a weekday post) and then after school club was costing me 400 a month when I was only bringing in 700. And on top of that benefits were cut, so I was actully losing money at the end of the month.

And now I can't find a job that fits in without having to use c/care. All jobs seem to want you to work on Saturday's which I can't do as dp has too work, evening work would be ok, but then I don't have bar skills etc, or working as a home carer, which I really don't want to do.

Why is it so hard to find a job, that just fits in with child care! Really need the money but every time I call up a job I get shot back because of having kids!

I can't even get a get a job during school hours because 1 there aren't any and b I'm then stuck at holiday time.

AIBU just to stay at home and claim benefits and say sod it to the job world.

OP posts:
prettyfly1 · 21/08/2011 18:27

I have read through the whole of this OP with interest. I was a single mother in a competitive industry with no further education. So I went to work and lost most of my income in childcare and housing costs but considered it an investment in my future. I went to uni two night a week and slogged my way up. I have dealt with the guilt of not being there for my kids, but I have to be honest I have never felt majorly discriminated against, although I did leave one employ very quickly after they shouted at me when my son had chicken pox and I had no choice but to go home. I now work from home, have a decent standard of life and a great deal of flexibility but I got there because I worked for it. I did shifts, I did shit jobs that I hated and I worked my way up.

There is so much "I have kids so I am entitled to hours that fit in with them". I am going to get thoroughly flamed but in an economy like ours that just is not the case. The competition for work of all kinds is fierce and the employees who are prepared to slog for the jobs are the ones who get them, not the ones who instantly expect employers to bend over backwards for them. It sucks, its hard and its frustrating but in all honesty OP you dont really want to work. If you did, you would and you would take the hardship of it. There is a massive recession on and the people who get the jobs are the ones who show enthusiasm, flexibility and a great work ethic. A dubious history of health issues and frankly a bit of a whiney attitude will not.

Andrewofgg · 21/08/2011 18:40

prettyfly1 You have said it all, including a great deal that nobody with a Y chromosome would dare post here!

rainbowinthesky · 21/08/2011 18:46

WHen I started work, if you take into account just my pay for childcare costs, (dont agree with this but this is your thinking) then I earned barely nothing to begin with. Fastforward 12 years, I have a career and earn a decent amount with good pension. Tis hard work but that's life.

Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 19:02

Toni, there is only space for 3 days, mon, thurs and fri at after school club,

Before when was working it was 5 days

And I would do any thing other then care. As the reasons I stated before

And not ttc now as doctor advised against it at present due to health issues

OP posts:
pointydog · 21/08/2011 19:14

Teh answer isn't to find a job that fits in with school times. That is severely limiting. The answer is to find a job and then find childcare.

microfight · 21/08/2011 19:18

Just of out interest Mucky if the doctor hadn't advised against it you would be TTC?

Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 19:19

Right I want to go to work, don't you people see that

My problem is with inflexibility I've got, I can't help it. There is only one after school club in my town.

When appoint for jobs I get shot back because of inflexibitky

Can't work nights cos of meds.

Really don't want to work in care because of the abuse I got, is that wrong, not it want to work in place were men get hard ones because you are helping them wash.

Just looked at tescos, no jobs, and that's the only supermarket in town.

My only choice is to move, which I afford too.

And as for ttc, went to docs to have check up and he highered one of my meds and said to wait 6 months before trying, and try and get it lowered in the mean time.

I could quite easily work in half the jobs I see, but the boss in sites you must work sats which I can't, I could I wouldn't be conversation

OP posts:
Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 19:21

Yes I would be ttc, I so depsantly want another child, I know wrong I may situation.

But you can't help how you feel

So in the mean time I'm looking for work, was looking before but now more active, if that's possible

OP posts:
Sofabitch · 21/08/2011 19:27

Simple. Get a job then find childcare to fit. After school clubs is not your only option. What about a childminder. Au pair. Nanny. Etc. You are being exceptionally picky.

OpinionatedMum · 21/08/2011 19:28

Tele sales in the evening? I see it advertised sometimes. You could do it upduffed too as all you have to do is ring people and pester them to buy stuff.

WannaBeMarryPoppins · 21/08/2011 19:29

Is there any chance your husband could change his hours so he works Sunday instead of Saturday?

microfight · 21/08/2011 19:29

Pointydog is right
Find a job and then find the child care to fit.

pointydog · 21/08/2011 19:31

No childminders in your area?

OpinionatedMum · 21/08/2011 19:32

Don't let it get you down, you will get a lot of knock backs at the moment. If you go into an interview with a negative mindset they will pick up on it. Someone will employ you eventually but not if you give up trying! Smile

Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 19:37

Dp can't change work hours, set in stone that one

The thing is wouldn't they just sack you if you can't work failing that I can't a different c/care provider and the hours dont fit, cos from what I've found most places put in place a trail period which they can rid of you if it doesn't work out? That's what happened with one job I had, thought they were much the same on that?

Also thought that childminders were really dear? Am I wrong on that, never used one, thank you I'd look into that

OP posts:
Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 19:38

Thank you to every one who has been supportive

OP posts:
pointydog · 21/08/2011 19:39

Childminder prices compare very favourably with clubs in my area and can be more flexible with costs. Eg, charging per half hour rather than whole hour or whole session. Keeping the kids for an hour longer with short notice. That sort of thing.

Definitely look into them.

Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 19:43

Would they do a school pick up?

OP posts:
ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin · 21/08/2011 19:46

Many do.

GypsyMoth · 21/08/2011 19:49

What do you mean by 'aibu to just stay home and claim benefits'??

You have a partner working FULL time, what on earth are you thinking you can claim benefits wise??

pointydog · 21/08/2011 19:52

In my area, childminders have one or two schools that they pick up/drop off to. But sometimes they accept someone outwith their catchment if the arrangement will work. You need to ask them all.

Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 19:55

The higher rate of tax credits due to me not working

OP posts:
Wantingsun · 21/08/2011 19:57

So you can't afford the children you currently have and have to claim benefits.

You won't go out to work - it is won't if you are being picky as the old saying goes beggars can't be choosers. If care work is the only work available then that is what you have to do.

But in 6 months time it is all irrelevant anyway, as if your medication is lower you are going to ttc.

Absolutely incredulous.

Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 20:00

Maybe lower

And have you read why I don't want to do care work?

OP posts:
stickyj · 21/08/2011 20:01

I second the music franchise idea. I started mine 13 years ago with three kids under 10 and a new baby. Yes, it was hard work but the franchise I joined has a tiny start up fee (unlike lots of franchises) and if you work hard, you can earn really good money. If you want to know more let me know.

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