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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu....is too blinking hard too get a job that fits in with children!

234 replies

Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 13:25

a little bit of back story

I've worked all my life started when I was 12 earning money to pay for my horse (it was no job, no horse in my house) all fine.
Left school and started working full time as well as doing a full time college course, fell pengant at 18 and left college (horses and not safe to conitinue)
Had baby went to work as a nurse fine for a few years, ended up leaving due to health reasons.

Went back to work as a home carer which I did for 4 years, lovely at first but as time went on it really started to get to me that I was treated as a slave/maid/bit of scum by both the people I looked after, their family and the office. Ie went to make someone tea, only to find family had done a full 3 course Sunday dinner and left ALL the washing up for me, even though 8 family members had been there.
Ended up again leaving with health issues

Got my self back together and I find a job that fits in with c/care. No I tried working for a retail shop for a few months but got moaned at because I couldn't work Saturday's (even though it was a weekday post) and then after school club was costing me 400 a month when I was only bringing in 700. And on top of that benefits were cut, so I was actully losing money at the end of the month.

And now I can't find a job that fits in without having to use c/care. All jobs seem to want you to work on Saturday's which I can't do as dp has too work, evening work would be ok, but then I don't have bar skills etc, or working as a home carer, which I really don't want to do.

Why is it so hard to find a job, that just fits in with child care! Really need the money but every time I call up a job I get shot back because of having kids!

I can't even get a get a job during school hours because 1 there aren't any and b I'm then stuck at holiday time.

AIBU just to stay at home and claim benefits and say sod it to the job world.

OP posts:
ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin · 21/08/2011 21:20

Didn't the OP say way back on the thread that she wasn't a registered nurse?
If I remember right, what sort of a nurse are you?

Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 21:20

Yes, but there is a lot of competion of those jobs buy me. 45+ applicants for one job, and most want exp, so get past over on Rhodes, but I still apply.

Just wish we had more supermarkets by me,

Think I'm going to go down the telephone route

Does any one know and can recommend a home business ie Avon, better ware, but a different one that my little town may not have heard of, we are bait behind the times in these parts

OP posts:
Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 21:22

Bimbo I got abused too much though home care, please read back a few pages, I've put why there, sorry just don't want to re write it again.

OP posts:
Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 21:22

I've done health care assistant and home care

OP posts:
microfight · 21/08/2011 21:23

"there is a lot of competion of those jobs buy me. 45+ applicants for one job, and most want exp, so get past over on Rhodes"

Eh? Rhodes??

BimboNo5 · 21/08/2011 21:23

If you are a nurse you dont have to work as a carer? Am I missing something Hmm

BimboNo5 · 21/08/2011 21:25

And you dont want to do homecare because people treat you like a servant? I.e they want you to do certain tasks for them and you get a wage for it? Whats so shocking there?

Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 21:39

being a carer is not being a slave there is a difference. No pleases, thankyous

You obs don't understand the kind of work it is and then to have comments made I'll give you a tenner if you suck my knob by a healthy minded person when you are seining the same person 5 times a day for 5 hours 6 days of the week, I'm fucking sorry I do want to work in place like that ESP since I abused myself, so may be a little touchy about things. That is not the half of it, the way both the women, men and the family treat you is stupid. I went to work to look after them to help them wash, use the toliet, get them up etc. Make them tea etc, I tried time and time again, but still a certain few people treat you shit, hit you, call you names and these are mentally I'll people, these are mind healthy people. All because you won't clean the chimney, which is not covered by the insurance of the company you work for, then get abused.
So fucking sorry

OP posts:
Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 21:40

These arnt mentally ill people*

OP posts:
WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 21/08/2011 21:50

Sorry haven't read all the posts.

Are you a fully trained nurse? Would that not pay enough to cover childcare?

What about starting your own business? I work from home and charge by the hour but it's something I am trained in which took several years so not ok for everyone. Do you have any skills like that?

littlemisssarcastic · 21/08/2011 21:51

Working from home as an adult chat line operator??
All training given.
Choose your own hours. Put the kids to bed. Pick the phone up and hey presto.

No childcare issues. You don't have to work during the holidays (or whenever you don't want to for that matter) but you will only be paid for the work you do and you don't have to wash dishes or see the person you are talking to.

This is a genuine suggestion btw.

Katisha · 21/08/2011 21:56

OK

Get evening class/adult learning brochure (I say again) and see what qualifications you could do that make you more employable - IT skills say would open up some office work which may not be so shift dependent.

I have a feeling you don't really want to do this, but you do need to think a bit more widely about this if you are serious about wanting work.

Also - just a suggestion, but if there is only one after school club in your town, why not look into starting another one? Approach a school and use their dining room/hall. You may need to do some courses first obviously.

hazelnutlatte · 21/08/2011 22:00

It sounds like you had a horrible experience doing care work for a crap agency that provided you with no support or back up. Care work is not all like this though. You could work for the NHS or in a care home, in this case you would not be working alone and there would always be a more senior person in charge in case of any problems.
Yes its a hard job but if you can get into the NHS there will be the opportunity for training and better career prospects in the future. I worked as a HCA whilst training to be a nurse, in both care homes and hospital wards and I never received the kind of abuse you experienced. I was also able to work flexible hours which fit around my training - try applying for NHS professionals or your local hospital bank.

twinklytroll · 21/08/2011 22:02

Can you change when you take your medication so that you can work nights. I know when I started working again after I started taking medication I needed to change timings and even medication so that I could work.

It is tough and it should not be like this but when you have health problems you often have to take a job that you do not really want to do in order to prove yourself.

I had to stop working for a few years because of illness, when I stopped working as a teacher I was on about 25K a year, maybe more it was ten years ago! I accepted that I was not going to get another teaching job because of my illness but I wanted to wean myself of benefits.As a single mum I had no childcare at home but looked at my skills and things I could do from home or with dd. I organised and catered children's birthdays here and there, I did cleaning, babysitting and whatever I could get. I then got work doing childcare and then as a family support worker, earning way below what I was qualified for and often at a loss but I recognised I was making contacts. I did then meet my partner so was no longer a single mum. I then got a job teaching two days a week in a school that most teachers would flee from screaming. It was not my ideal job, it was a nightmare in terms of paying for childcare and stress but I recognised that things needed to be shit for a while in order to get better. I can remember I had no childcare a week before i was due to start teaching as all the local nurseries and childminders were either full or did not start early enough. I just had to make it work. I made myself indispensable at that school, coming in on my day off for school trips or to help out, paying for my own childcare and sometimes making a loss. But they recognised that I was a can do person and every year I was given more hours and quickly went into management. I was then able to move on to a school which offered less challenge which suited my health better. Again recognising that I came with a poor health record and gaps in my CV I took a demotion when moving so I was sure they would employ me, again by working hard I went back into a management role quickly.

As a student I often did grim jobs to pay my way because I knew that I had to do things I maybe didn't want for a long term gain. I worked as a "hostess" at parties for city boys, I scrubbed filthy toilets, worked in bookmakers with leery men, worked in bars with drunk leery men.

My point is that most of us have to do things we don't want, most of us have to pay more for childcare than we would wish.

lilmissminx · 21/08/2011 22:02

Worra I'm sorry but you are very far wrong. Bar staff DO need skills. Yes, training is provided, but you still need to have skills. I would not and could not have employed anyone without mathematical capabilities when managing a bar. You would be amazed how many people simply cannot do it (well). A good member of bar staff has to have very good interpersonal skills, be good at calming aggression, judge the age of younger customers, be alert to everything that is going on, be observant and much, much more. It is not just any old job, and it irks me to see it dismissed as such. Most of the staf in my local are graduates, and the rest have almost all got good 'a' levels as well. Good bar staff will also earn a better wage than you think. So if you think you do have the skills, you can do very well out of it. < stepping off soap box >

Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 22:03

Katisha

Training is something I've been looking into, I enrolled into a h.e. Course which is over 2 years but that starts in jan, too full for sept.

OP posts:
Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 22:04

See I'd love to become a driving instuctor but ATM I can't afford the training costs 200+ a month
Unless someone knows another way into it?

OP posts:
Katisha · 21/08/2011 22:04

Well Jan is good - what sort of course is it?

twinklytroll · 21/08/2011 22:05

I wonder if a lot of your reluctance to work is to do with confidence, I can relate to that and think a night class would help you with that.

cjbartlett · 21/08/2011 22:07

Twinklytroll

I can remember I had no childcare a week before i was due to start teaching as all the local nurseries and childminders were either full or did not start early enough. I just had to make it work

but how did you make it work? Thats the problem, did you take your child to work?

Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 22:14

An access course to uni, part time on mon and thurs days or eves, both lessons are the same you just need to come one on ether day.
It's what to do in between now and then though

OP posts:
Katisha · 21/08/2011 22:16

WHat do you want to do at university though? THat is pretty long term plan presumably?
Might it be better to do something else in short term as well that can get you employed and earning money? Like IT course say?

Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 22:18

The course includes it skills

OP posts:
twinklytroll · 21/08/2011 22:18

I begged someone to childmind informally for me until there was a space at nursery. I had to absolutely beg and had to include not only payment but tuition for her children and childcare in the holidays for them. It was not by any means ideal as I used to have to leave the house at a stupid hour in the dark in the morning and walk my daughter across a dodgy area and leave her before getting into work. I then had to dash from my work, to meet her at her children's school and then walk back to my school with my daughter who aged 3 or 4 would then have to hang around my school until we could be picked up at 6pm. Dd was permanently tired and grumpy and I used to worry about her in the house as it was quite chaotic.

Eventually she managed to get a nursery place which made it easier but then costly especially as I think I had to pay for holidays.

cjbartlett · 21/08/2011 22:21

I guess some is us aren't prepared to do all that though