Aibu....is too blinking hard too get a job that fits in with children!

[Muckyhighchair]

a little bit of back story

I've worked all my life started when I was 12 earning money to pay for my horse (it was no job, no horse in my house) all fine.
Left school and started working full time as well as doing a full time college course, fell pengant at 18 and left college (horses and not safe to conitinue)
Had baby went to work as a nurse fine for a few years, ended up leaving due to health reasons.

Went back to work as a home carer which I did for 4 years, lovely at first but as time went on it really started to get to me that I was treated as a slave/maid/bit of scum by both the people I looked after, their family and the office. Ie went to make someone tea, only to find family had done a full 3 course Sunday dinner and left ALL the washing up for me, even though 8 family members had been there.
Ended up again leaving with health issues

Got my self back together and I find a job that fits in with c/care. No I tried working for a retail shop for a few months but got moaned at because I couldn't work Saturday's (even though it was a weekday post) and then after school club was costing me 400 a month when I was only bringing in 700. And on top of that benefits were cut, so I was actully losing money at the end of the month.

And now I can't find a job that fits in without having to use c/care. All jobs seem to want you to work on Saturday's which I can't do as dp has too work, evening work would be ok, but then I don't have bar skills etc, or working as a home carer, which I really don't want to do.

Why is it so hard to find a job, that just fits in with child care! Really need the money but every time I call up a job I get shot back because of having kids!

I can't even get a get a job during school hours because 1 there aren't any and b I'm then stuck at holiday time.

AIBU just to stay at home and claim benefits and say sod it to the job world.

How about being a nanny for a teacher? Term time only and good hours?

"Yes I could work sat eve no prob"

So why do you say you are not flexible to work ad hoc Saturdays on your CV for bar jobs then?

BTW bar managers can earn anything from 15K to 50K+ depending on size of bar/restaurant so try to think higher than head bartender. A short investment of time as an employee could lead to a managerial job if you really wanted it.

I'm sure my cousin had to give up nursing due to ill health and then worked for NHS direct.

A friend of mind decided to become a childminder. She is excellent, only has two children maximum Mon-Fri, and is very happy and very respected locally as a brilliant person and childcarer.

Bar work, as others have said, comes with its own training; and there are career paths you could follow when the DC are older and you are more flexible. The sames true of larger stores that offer evening shifts and smaller Co-Op outlets (as an example).

Interesting point about our mothers not being able to work due to childcare problems and how they would have been amazed at free childcare, paternity leave etc. How do you think it changed? How did we get parental leave? Not by lecturing other women that THEY should change what they want from a job, but by getting employers to change what they can expect from the workforce. All this talk of 'the real world' - who's real world? What about our real world of needing jobs and childcare? Or aren't those things 'real'?

I think the issue often isn't that you need experience to do bar work but that because there are so many unemployed if you're going to be applying for bar jobs then you're going to be in competition with people who have done it before and the landlord is more likely to employ someone who has previously done bar work and who they don't have to train.

I can sympathise in terms of finding work when you have school age children because tbh I think it's almost harder as there are no nurseries/childcare options can be limited especially in the holidays.

In an ideal world we would all do the job that fitted in with our absolute lifestyles. But in reality beggers can't be choosers and if you need to work for financial reasons then you need to look not at the jobs you can't do, but at the jobs you can, and see where you can find them.

So - what skills do you have? nursing qualification? what else? As a qualified nurse can you look at perhaps working as a home carer for an agency? often they are needed in the mornings/night to work with people with disabilities who live in their homes but who need extra assistance? Or what about a nurse working in a school for children with special needs, many special schools have on-sight nurses purely due to the complex needs of many of the children that attend them.

Alternatively a weekend job working in a shop/call centre? Asda are known to be fairly flexible in terms of staff working school hours, could you check to see if there is a requirement?

Many shops will be recruiting their christmas staff soon, worth looking out for one of those jobs in the hopes of being taken on afterwards but even if not it will gain you some experience - it's far easier to get work when you're in work.

And take the bit about your health problems off your cv. Employers don't need to know unless they specifically ask, there's no reason you need to disclose unless a job requires something that you couldn't do i.e. if you can't drive because of your medication but the job requires a drivers licence...

I am in similar-ish situation atm in that I want to go back to work but finding something suitable is virtually impossible. I am slightly limited (god it hurts to type that, ) in that I am visually impaired and so there are certain jobs I cannot do (Teaching assistant, anything that involves needing to drive, realistically shop assistant/bar work). However, I am fortunate in that we can afford for me not to be working atm as dh earns a good wage, but if he didn't then there's no way I'd be sitting at home on benefits. I can look around for the type of job I want (haven't decided yet what that is going to be), but in the meantime I may well find a call centre job or similar just so I'm currently in work (I've been a sahm for nearly nine years) because it's easier to get a job when you're in a job.

You have to move away from thinking about what you can't do and start thinking about what you can. Your attitude is very apparent on here and I bet any money that it comes across in interview as well. I wouldn't employ you with that type of attitude, so you need to be more positive and come across as such to a perspective employer.

whose

Absolutely alice - but my point is that things have already shifted a lot. Of course we could all point out ways in which our work lives could be made easier- but its about balance isn't it? Stack everything too much in favour of the employee, and it'll backfire because employers wont be willing to employ people who come with so many conditions attached - eg won't work weekends/ Wednesdays/ before 10 am/ after 6 pm etc

Tbh I think the balance at the moment is about right, there are subsidies now for childcare, and more available childcare than previously.
Reading the ops point about living in a small town with bleak prospects- what steps have you taken to try to move away? Many of us move to where the work is.

I agree we have come a long way as far as maternity and paternity leave is concerned. I have to say though that demanding more and more rights for working mothers is on the one hand great and we should try and get the best rights to make our lives easier as working parents. However, we must be careful not to take it too far, I know many small business owners who simply cannot afford to pay for those legal obligations and so there is a real danger working mothers could be discriminated against through their own success of achieving so many rights.

Toniguy!! Just written the same thing but yours is better put!!

I know of someone who makes good money as a dog walker, although it's in an affluent area.

Cleaning? It might not be very aspirational but there's a lot of evening work around cleaning offices.

You could set up one of those toddler music groups if you're that kind of person (god knows I'd be no good at it), Jo Jingles, Musical Minis etc.

The other thing which confuses me slightly is how the op would be WORSE off. Surely even in a minimum wage job, if you are working full time with school age kids, the hours which you would effectively get 'free' (ie the six and a half hours Monday to Friday when the kids are in school- surely over the whole year, you are turning a profit, even after out of school care is thrown in? I am assuming you and your dh would stagger your annual leave to cover some holiday care too ?

The only way in which I could see you not ending up better off, is a) if you have a huge number of kids attending after school/ holiday care- in which case, thats your lifestyle choice, and you're not going to get oodles of sympathy from other women who limit their family to what's affordable; or b) if there is something very bizarre going on with your benefits which means you are genuinely better off' not working. In which case, the system is pathetic. I wouldn't count on the system remaining as it is though- what with welfare reform, so you're probably still better off seeking work.

I also think we must remember that businesses have a legal obligation to their shareholders.

There is good argument to ensure working parents have support where possible because that is in the company's interest not to exclude a group of potentially great employees simply because they have a child and need special concessions like maternity leave. However, there has to be a cut off point at which the employee makes compromises too (which most parents do), otherwise businesses would not be working in the interest of the shareholder.

I have children but have witnessed blatenty unfairness to child free employees in places I have worked in. For example, my friends have been asked to work over holidays like Christmas because the ones with children really NEED to take holiday during school holidays. Many colleagues of mine have been given permission to work from home when schools have closed for strikes etc whereas child free friends don't get these concessions.

I just think we need to be careful how far we demand for special treatment as parents or it'll back fire.

blatant

aliceliddell Please tell us more. In the real world where, for example, retail hours are longer than school hours, how do you think shops should be staffed?

By the parents of school-age children during school hours during the term and by everybody else during the rest of the time?

The fact is that people without small children, or children at all, or dependents, or any family, have private lives too and as I have said on another thread: one sort of private life does not trump another sort.

Well Andrew many Students like to work after school hours so you would get some sort of cross over between parents needs and students needs amongst others sections of society's needs.

I think this answers your question, although I totally agree that no private life should trump another...sadly it does though!

just throwing a few ideas about what about working as a GP practice nurse part time? I imagine there would be a good bit of flexibility in that i.e you work mornings everyday rather than 2 full days. My GP practice has 2 part time nurses and you aren't going to be required to work weekends. Also if you enjoy the work after a while you could see about doing an evening or two in out of hours care when your DP can look after DC.

Another idea is agency work, where you say to them what hours you can do. it may not be reliant but better than a kick in the teeth.

oh if you are speciality trained look for jobs in private care clinics. they are generally nine to five monday to friday.

It's much easy as a lone parent in some ways - I get decent financial help with childcare. when I was with DP I didn't.

Think of it from the other extreme - let's say you want to create jobs for parents. Except every blooming one of them only wants to work evenings/school term time and no one, but no one, wants to work Fridays or Mondays. It's impossible because your clients expect 9-5 Mon-Fri service.

So think outside the box. What could you do in the time you have available? Could you make something or market something in the time you do have for free? But be prepared that if you aren't wanting to fit into an employer's schedule, you have to be prepared to make your own income. In other words, you have to find the clients/customers who will be prepared to fit in with your working availability and not rely on an employer to do so.

microfight - which is why I've been talking about parental and paternity leave, not just maternity. If childcare is perennially women's responsibility then you will get the Godfrey Bloom effect (UKIP MEP who argues against employing potential mothers)
Andrew - seriously? No-one will be available outside school hours? You sure?

The best way of doing it is to take a job, get your feet under the table and THEN when they rely on you start asking for more child friendly hours.

I think you might need to start to think differently and consider working from home so you cant fit it in around your families needs and be flexible. It depends on how much you are wanting to earn and how quickly you want to earn it. I am doing Avon Representative and Avons Sales Leader, it is slow to start, second campaign only earned around £260 but I can build it every time if I can keep recruiting reps and gathering new direct sales. No childcare costs either.

Before anyone jumps on me, all Avon Reps are self employed so we are in competition with each other, I have no vested interested in promoting it. It does get you out of the house and you can build your income slowly.

Here are some other ideas from MoneySavingExpert.com. I only found that today, well someone else recommended it, it has got my brain whirring.