Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu....is too blinking hard too get a job that fits in with children!

234 replies

Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 13:25

a little bit of back story

I've worked all my life started when I was 12 earning money to pay for my horse (it was no job, no horse in my house) all fine.
Left school and started working full time as well as doing a full time college course, fell pengant at 18 and left college (horses and not safe to conitinue)
Had baby went to work as a nurse fine for a few years, ended up leaving due to health reasons.

Went back to work as a home carer which I did for 4 years, lovely at first but as time went on it really started to get to me that I was treated as a slave/maid/bit of scum by both the people I looked after, their family and the office. Ie went to make someone tea, only to find family had done a full 3 course Sunday dinner and left ALL the washing up for me, even though 8 family members had been there.
Ended up again leaving with health issues

Got my self back together and I find a job that fits in with c/care. No I tried working for a retail shop for a few months but got moaned at because I couldn't work Saturday's (even though it was a weekday post) and then after school club was costing me 400 a month when I was only bringing in 700. And on top of that benefits were cut, so I was actully losing money at the end of the month.

And now I can't find a job that fits in without having to use c/care. All jobs seem to want you to work on Saturday's which I can't do as dp has too work, evening work would be ok, but then I don't have bar skills etc, or working as a home carer, which I really don't want to do.

Why is it so hard to find a job, that just fits in with child care! Really need the money but every time I call up a job I get shot back because of having kids!

I can't even get a get a job during school hours because 1 there aren't any and b I'm then stuck at holiday time.

AIBU just to stay at home and claim benefits and say sod it to the job world.

OP posts:
Mitmoo · 21/08/2011 16:31

whoops linky might help.

Mitmoo · 21/08/2011 16:32

whoops again!!!!!!!!!! Doh's at self.
www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/make-money#parttime

Arghh Smile

microfight · 21/08/2011 16:32

I agree with you Alice but I was talking about parents rights not mothers. We could end up with parents being discriminated against because of the potential impossible costs involved with employing them. I did use the term parents not mothers I think.

VFVF · 21/08/2011 16:53

OP are you a quilified nurse or a HCA? Have you looked at agencies? Theirs always work to be had where you can dictate what hours you want to work. As an RGN/RMN you can get £20-£25 per hour. Yes it's usually care home work, but honestly for that money it's a doddle.

VFVF · 21/08/2011 16:55

Forgot to add, NHS Direct are crying out for agency staff, and would bite your hand off for Saturday night work (if you could stand the call centre environment Smile )

Andrewofgg · 21/08/2011 16:57

Alice of course people will be available outside school hours. The question is who.

And the answer, in any job which involves awkward hours and shift work, is everyone, every sort of shift being shared out equally.

Then people are free to exchange within the limits of health, safety, and the Working Time Directive.

But "free" means free, not forced, obliged, bullied, leaned on or expected to change. And if somebody asked to swap says No it is No, with no Why.

And in the case of last minute emergency there is still no obligation to swap.

And that applies to the people with dependents and to the people without.

Fair?

MotherOfHobbit · 21/08/2011 17:05

YANBU - I know there are a lot of people on here saying you can do this, that and the other but employers do discriminate and prefer not to hire women with children. (Mine is one - not with me but I've heard plenty of comments when recruiting that they don't want to take mothers because they 'won't want to do the hours')
If you add the exorbitant cost of childcare, it does make finding a job that pays so that you even break even difficult.

ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin · 21/08/2011 17:06

OP, you were a home carer but got annoyed because you were being treated like a maid and slave, so you quit?
One of the boys on my DD's course is doing home caring to get through the summer break, looking after the elderly in their home. He's had 4 months of lifting, wiping, cleaning, washing up and toenail cutting.
He's 18, on minimum wage, speaks 3 languages and will graduate in two years. But he needed the job and does whatever is asked within the hours he works.
So if I'm paid from 9-4 and in that time I end up washing up after a Sunday lunch I hadn't eaten, that's what I'd do.

WannaBeMarryPoppins · 21/08/2011 17:29

I second NHS direct, but I am not sure they will be hiring any time soon?

My sister is a qualified nurse and has been working for an agency in the past. She goes to old peoples' places helps them to put on their socks on in the morning and off in the evening. Often she needs to help them take medicine (insulin) and do stuff such as make breakfast, which they can't do alone anymore.
It's all very regulated hour wise.
Is there anything like this close to you?

Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 17:31

Pro
I also added later on that I would have to work silly hours often 30+ days in a row because of short staffed. And then when the office and the elderly treat you scum day in day out, hour after hour. It wears you down, some if the things I've put with doing that job are horrid. Including being hit, screamed at, sex assaulted, leered at by old men. Told to put up and shut up by the office, phone ringing all the time, even at 3 in the morning to say I've got extra calls.

The job it's self is lovely, but then about half the services users beening so horrid it's a big part of your day, I'm talking starting at 6am and finishing at 1am because carer a has forgotten to put mr h is hard, then when you turn up and get shouted at for an hour cos you were late, and it wasn't even your fault. Not that he shouldn't be upset, it's his right too, but there is nothing you can do about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 17:35

Oh and I'm not a reg'd nurse hca,

It's just really hard to get a balance, I can put ds in c/care a max of 3 times a week, which means I can work 3 full days plus every evening and all day on Sunday, but it seems that isn't good enough for the local employers.

Even the adverts which state 18 hours a week are in fact full time, they don't just don't want you to have full time contacts, so half the time you have no idea what they actually want, which is complete flexibility

OP posts:
Original poster
Muckyhighchair · 21/08/2011 17:36

Tried Avon rep, but it's competitive around me, 3rd campaign I only sold £14 and even less on the first 2

OP posts:
HappyMummyOfOne · 21/08/2011 17:39

I'd look for new childcare rather than one who can only be used a max of 3 times a week. Those hours may suit you but wont suit many employers as you are finding out yet you seem to think they are to blame.

ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin · 21/08/2011 17:41

I think you have answered your own question OP, it is too hard to get a job that fits your particular requirements at the moment.

superv1xen · 21/08/2011 17:45

yep it is, there are precious little jobs about anyway let alone ones with child friendly hours Hmm

i work for myself now, cleaning houses. in school hours. i cut my hours for the summer hols and i juggle childcare between my mum and friends. i know that isnt an option for everyone!

i would never go back to working for someone else TBH, can't be doing with all the shit.

toniguy · 21/08/2011 17:54

I am even more confused now. You mention in your op school hours working. Now you say you can only put your child in childcare 3 x a week. If your child is school age (which can surely be the only reason for wanting school hours work and mentioning school holidays as a problem) why on earth are you restricting yourself to a maximum of only 3 days work during the week?

Tbh I am getting more confused with each post. You start off by claiming that it's the incompatability of the job with childcare which is the problem, but now you are railing against the job itself as terrible . I think you need to have a look at what the issues are. If you are really unhappy doing this type of care work then the long term answer is gaining more skills and qualifications to open up more doors. Be prepared for less flexibility with greater responsibility though- there aren't that many employers who will take on someone who attaches so Many conditions to the job.

WannaBeMarryPoppins · 21/08/2011 18:00

Oh ok, I just realised that the job I suggested is basically what you did as a home carer.

Is there a chance you could advertise for caring for one or two individuals on a more long term basis?

HappyMummyOfOne · 21/08/2011 18:03

Your other posts state your son is 6 1/2 so why are you restricted to working three days a week? Presumably your child is in school and you can access after school care so no reason to limit the number of days. You also mention you've worked in a travel agents before and admin jobs usually fall within 9-5 hours.

You're also TTC so if concerned re childcare costs/school hours now what will you do when there is another child needing childcare? The cynic in me would wonder if the new job is purely to gain maternity pay.

lachesis · 21/08/2011 18:13

It's nigh on impossible to get a job when you're full of nothing but excuses as to why you can't. Hmm

toniguy · 21/08/2011 18:16

Thats interesting happymummy - I hadn't picked up all that!!

ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin · 21/08/2011 18:18

Back to whom you would rather employ. A cheerful positive young person who doesn't come loaded down with attitude and a list of requirements and a history of fragmented work, or the OP.

Mitmoo · 21/08/2011 18:20

Mucky It is competitive around me too, my patch is worth about £50 so I went into schools, offices, old peoples homes, local businesses, new housing estates that weren't covered my second campaign I got over £600 worth of sales. Think of anywhere that a lot of women gather and hit them with a few books.

Think outside of the box, telephone local offices and businesses to see if they have an Avon representative if they don't get in there. Using the phone means you are not wasting petrol.

Local pubs too they have ladies darts teams pool teams.

Dont give up too easily, I felt negative when I did my first patch but then had to engage my sales brain and think about where else I could get the book into where they might buy.

Again, other Avon ladies are actually in competition with current Avon ladies so I have nothing to gain by saying this, in fact if you are local to me I'd lose out.

Ditch the negativity, think of what you can do, not what you can't. I'm not making much yet but I'm not giving up either.

slartybartfast · 21/08/2011 18:22

its not just avon
there is better ware
and
other stuff.
someone i know makes soaps from home Shock

slartybartfast · 21/08/2011 18:23

and another point.
at your job interviews. . i have learnt from experience jsurt to say Yes to any requests for extra work in sickness and leave. Just say yes, be enthusiastic. and cross the bridge when you come to it

MrsSchadenfreude · 21/08/2011 18:26

You do come across as someone who is full of excuses as to why they can't work, actually. What are you qualified to do? Could you go back to college instead and get more qualifications and a career (if this is what you want) while your DS is at school? Childcare does take up a lot of what you take home - I worked for virtually nothing when mine were small, but managed to stay on the career ladder, which means I am earning considerably more now than if I had taken time out.

My Mum lives near a big garden centre and they have a very nice cafe there, and were advertising for someone to work there from 0930 to 1500 - there are about four schools within 5 minutes drive. I said to the woman in the cafe that she must have had her arm chewed off with applications from women who want to go back to work, and she said that they hadn't had any applications at all!