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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that DH ought to be able to find a bottle of pigging milk in the fridge without my help???

76 replies

duchesse · 21/08/2011 10:09

DH got up with DD3 this morning. She is halfway through a bottle of ready-mixed Hipp follow-on milk that I got last year for our holidays and is about to expire. A bottle of this stuff is white and purple, about a pint in size. I told him exactly where to find it (bottom door shelf of the fridge, left-hand side.)

He could not find the fecking thing. Why? Why?? Why???

I got up, went downstairs, opened fridge door, it was exactly where I said. He had even checked the other fridge and every other shelf in both fridges. He did not once even think of picking up every item on the shelf door of the little fridge and examining it carefully to see if it was what he was looking for. He must expect the correct thing to just levitate into his hand.

Clearly he and I have very different ways of looking for things. He now thinks he's going mad. I hope he can see what I have to put up with on a daily basis.

OP posts:

catgirl1976 · 21/08/2011 10:11

It's a man thing. My DH is EXACTLY the same. For him to see something it must be DIRECTLY in line with his eyes. If he has too look 1mm right or left it is actually invisible to him

rainbowinthesky · 21/08/2011 10:12

"it's a man thing" - Jesus, this place is getting worse.

Catsmamma · 21/08/2011 10:14

throw it repeatedly at his head until he has a dent, he will be able to match the dent to help him find it in future.

it is totally unreasonable behaviour on his part.

babycham42 · 21/08/2011 10:16

Are we both married to the same man I wonder.

SuePurblybilt · 21/08/2011 10:17

I likes your style, Catsmamma.

HerHissyness · 21/08/2011 10:18

Gets LARGE yard broom to sweep out the huns.

It's a man thing?

No it bloody isn't, it's a I'm not doing this by myself, if I have to get up so do you.

What if you were OUT? would they just stand there, give up in the end and just leave it? No, he'd probably PHONE YOU. He wants recognition of the immense effort of doing your job for you.

catgirl1976 · 21/08/2011 10:19

Sorry rainbow - please call the sexism police at once

LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay · 21/08/2011 10:20

well I am surprised he managed to find the fridge at all, what with it being in the kitchen??

MilaMae · 21/08/2011 10:20

No I'm unmarried to him.

Biggest point of contention between dp and I for 22 years is his inability to look properly and find things.

MY dtwin boys 7 are exactly the same.I could rant for hours on this subject.

Why,why,why??????

Original poster

duchesse · 21/08/2011 10:22

hissy- I really don't think it is (at least consciously) that at all. He does more than his fair share of household chores and he never resents looking after DD3. In fact he's out there now building a woodshed with DD3 "helping" him.

OP posts:

catgirl1976 · 21/08/2011 10:23

It is a man thing:

As a nest-defender, a woman has brain software that allows her to have an arc of at least 45 degrees clear vision to each side of her head and above and below her nose. This was needed to keep an eye out for potential predators.

A man's eyes are larger than a woman's and his brain configures them for a type of long-distance tunnel vision, which means that he can see clearly and accurately directly in front of him and over greater distances, almost like a pair of binoculars - useful in times gone by for tracking down prey, but not so helpful when it comes to finding things in cupboards.

The female hormone oestrogen also prompts nerve cells to grow more connections in the brain and makes it easier for a woman to identify matching items in a drawer, cupboard or across a room and later remember objects in a complex random pattern - such as where the ribbon is in relation to the Sellotape in the cupboard.

New research suggests that male brains are usually searching for the word to go with an item, so if the tub is facing the wrong way and he cannot read the label, he virtually can't see it.

This is why men move their heads from side to side and up and down as they scan for a 'missing' object.

rainbowinthesky · 21/08/2011 10:26

I am speechless, catgirl. I think we live in different worlds and will never agree.

HerHissyness · 21/08/2011 10:28

Do YOU resent looking after your DD3? Or do you just do it because you are a parent and she is your child?

It's a man thing then. To be so monumentally shit at finding a bottle in a fridge. OK then. It's cos he's NOT taking full responsibility for the care, cos he knows there is a back up. Mummy.

How on EARTH did this species make it?

Nanny0gg · 21/08/2011 10:28

*No I'm unmarried to him.

Biggest point of contention between dp and I for 22 years is his inability to look properly and find things.

MY dtwin boys 7 are exactly the same.I could rant for hours on this subject.

Why,why,why??????*

Because they know you'll go and find it for them.

LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay · 21/08/2011 10:28

I think catgirl's logic is amazing.

It may be utter shyte. It may be true. But it makes me laugh like a loon, so I'm with her on this one.

Rainbow - isn't your name a bit fluffy and girly? Man up

HerHissyness · 21/08/2011 10:29

catgirl1976 · 21/08/2011 10:30

I have no idea if its true or not, but it made me smile and I now have an image if DH scanning his poor head from side to side like some sort of strange ostrich-type creature whenever he looks for something :)

Catsmamma · 21/08/2011 10:30

i bet that research was done by a man

with a woman assistant to help him identify the pen from the paper on his desk.

rainbowinthesky · 21/08/2011 10:30

Actually it used to be "hercuels"!

rainbowinthesky · 21/08/2011 10:30

sorry "hercules"

hiltontribe · 21/08/2011 10:31

It seems to be a man thing. My DH does it all the time and it drives me mad.

YANBU, but you are trying to fight the law of the universe. Men are crap at looking for things :)

Original poster

duchesse · 21/08/2011 10:31

HAhaha! DH has 20/20 vision whilst I have had to wear specs for severe short sight since I was 5. Doubt it's a vision thing tbh. I think that maybe he's never learned to look for things properly.

Sorry Cat, but your biological explanation sounds like one of those supposedly authoritative scientific explanations for why women should stay at home and cook. I believe that the human species is infinitely more adaptable than that type of explanation gives us credit for- if men hadn't evolved beyond primaeval hunter-gatherer they surely wouldn't be doing very well in modern society ?

OP posts:

catgirl1976 · 21/08/2011 10:33

Its not my explanation - its one I found googling it. I doesnt sound very robust to me but it seemed fairly entertaining in the wake of rainbows shock and horror :)

Original poster

duchesse · 21/08/2011 10:33

OP posts:

MilaMae · 21/08/2011 10:38

Nanny no I don't actually.

Dp and have had numerous heated discussions over this.The dtwins have had many a rollicking and are left to find said items(although on the school run I have to step in as it would be counter productive not to do so).

Sometimes I rant,often I refuse to help,sometimes if we're in a rush I either find it or we'll be late but to be frank the only reason we've maintained such a long term relationship is because you have to let things go at times.Dp often puts up with my PMT(which believe me is no picnic) with barely a comment and also my crapness at driving and following a map at the same time.

Yesterday I had to ring him at work as I was lost in a lane miles from anywhere. Thankfully he didn't leave me to it but patiently Google Earthed me out of it(yes I do need Sat Nav).

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