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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to assume we would share a twin room rather than forking out for a room each?

82 replies

vanillanice · 20/08/2011 22:10

Best friend asked me if I wanted to go on a one night spa break with her next month. Her DH is away on a stag do so she thought it would be nice to get away. I rarely get a night away from the kids so jumped at the chance. She said she would research it all online and let me know what hotels are available. We agreed a price of no more than £170 for a room.

She texted me earlier to say that there's only a couple of spa breaks available and the cheapest room is £150 including breakfast. I naively assumed that we would be sharing a room so the price would come to £75 each. Expensive, but as I don't get the chance to go out much I'm prepared to pay it.

I texted her back saying, yeah book the room, just check it is a twin room rather than a double. She's replied saying she wants her own room so it would be £150 each.

No way I can afford this. My fault for assuming we'd share, but seriously who goes on a girly night away and then has their own room. Seems a needless waste of money too. It's not like we don't know each other very well.

Going to ring her tomorrow to say we either share a room or she'll have to go with someone else, as my budget wont stretch this far.

OP posts:
worraliberty · 20/08/2011 22:12

I would have assumed you'd share too.

I know it's childish, but sharing a room and chatting before bed is part of the fun Grin

inchoccyheaven · 20/08/2011 22:12

I would want my own room so I don't keep anyone up with my snoring Blush

squeakytoy · 20/08/2011 22:12

YANBU.. she is. Stick to your guns.

thisisyesterday · 20/08/2011 22:12

yeah that's quite weird! i would assume you would share too

maybe she does weird things at night???

EuphemiaMcGonagall · 20/08/2011 22:13

YABU - you should have checked before she booked it.

As an adult, I would expect my own room unless my friend stated otherwise.

smoggii · 20/08/2011 22:13

YANBU - the point of a girly weekend is that you chill out together!

TeamEdward · 20/08/2011 22:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ifancyashandy · 20/08/2011 22:14

I'm the same as 'ImaChoccy' and would want my own room as I snore like a loon & would hate to keep others up.

Original poster
vanillanice · 20/08/2011 22:15

I had visions of us drinking too much wine, getting tipsy and talking into the small hours. Instead looks like we'd be tucked up in bed by 10, I can do this with dh at home!

OP posts:
ChaoticAngeloftheUnderworld · 20/08/2011 22:16

I'm with inchoccyheaven and Ifancyashandy Blush

EuphemiaMcGonagall · 20/08/2011 22:17

I've been on spa weekends with two separate friends, both the same age as me.

One wants separate rooms.

One wants to share.

You need to discuss this ahead of booking! You assume one thing, friend assumes another - disaster!

Sofabitch · 20/08/2011 22:17

Never assume it makes an ass out of u and me.

It's a bitch. I could never justify £150. but I don't think I'd want to share a room or sleep in a single bed if it was me tbh.

TidyDancer · 20/08/2011 22:17

Hmmm. Yes, under these circumstances, I would assume you to be sharing as well. But then I would probably like a room of my own too ideally. Obviously I don't mind sharing with DP, but it's quite nice to be on your own for a whole night sometimes!

Tell your friend as soon as possible that you can't afford it so she doesn't book and lose money.

inchoccyheaven · 20/08/2011 22:18

You can still do that and then go to own bed to sleep, Well I would anyway.

Sofabitch · 20/08/2011 22:18

Have you had a look on groupon they often have spa deals on there.

cat64 · 20/08/2011 22:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Meglet · 20/08/2011 22:19

I'd want my own room too. I'd have to wear nice presentable pj's if I shared.

Original poster
vanillanice · 20/08/2011 22:20

I don't quite know how I'm going to break it to her. I can tell I'm going to end up paying for my own room rather than disappoint her...

OP posts:
GreenEyesandHam · 20/08/2011 22:20

I would have 100% assumed it was to be a roomshare

thisisyesterday · 20/08/2011 22:22

text her now! before she books it

all you have to say is
"so sorry, I assumed we'd be sharing. I really can't afford £150 right now so don't think I'll be able to come"

ChumleeIsMyHomeboy · 20/08/2011 22:22

Another one here who snores like a rutting water buffalo! I always assume nobody who knows me would want to share a room with me!

upahill · 20/08/2011 22:23

I go away loads with my mates and we always share.
In fact thinking about it the last 3 times I went away with a male friend we shared a room (YHA hostel)

So yeah if it was a cloose friend I would assume sharing but I go away a lot socially and with work and always share.

Scuttlebutter · 20/08/2011 22:26

YABU to assume this. I've been on weekends away with close female friends and with very close female relatives and we've always had our own rooms. Doesn't stop us having girly chats in pyjamas.

If you can't afford it, tell her so - be honest with her. Otherwise you will go and all she will smell is the scent of gently roasting martyr, and you will be bitter and resentful all weekend. No fun for anybody.

Original poster
vanillanice · 20/08/2011 22:27

Texted another friend who might share the cost of my room with me, so that would help with paying for the room. Just not sure my friend will approve!

OP posts:
NorkyButNice · 20/08/2011 22:27

YANBU if you can't afford it, but I think YABU to assume that you would be sharing. You agreed maximum price per room, not maximum you'd each be spending.

One of the pleasures of staying in a hotel without DH and the kids is being able to wander around naked, watch bad telly till the middle of the night if I want to, or indeed going to bed early and sleeping 12 hours straight!