To have laughed at my friend.

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This makes me feel soooooo much better, given my penchant for doing/saying the truly ridiculous. I want to share with you the conversation I had this morning with my truly lovely and normally very sensible friend.

Friend: Where's Jestershire?

Me: Eh?

Friend; Where's Jestershire? I keep seeing all these vans around here with Jestershire on the side and I don't know where it is.

Me: Are you winding me up?

Friend: (now laughing) No! I honestly have never heard of it.

Me: (hysterical by this point) It's Jesters Hire you knob.

Bless her.

Shaky - A R Werth??? I don't get it??

Worrisomeheart I'm not sure if we know the same person but my friend, after seeing the film Titanic, said 'I really thought they were going to manage to steer the boat away from the iceberg in time...'

Maybe the sinking of the Titanic isn't as well known as I thought

Brilliant.

I was once discussing the TV show 'Most Haunted' with a friend, and the medium guy Derek Acora - not sure how to spell his surname....

Me: He's full of shit, he clearly puts it all on, all that head rolling and stupid voices.

Friend: No no no, he's genuine I think. Thats what happens when you get repossessed....

Sure I told this on another thread recently, but it makes me laff n laff!

I don't get AR Werth either, is it something Welsh?

Demiwave

Ar Werth is "For Sale" in Welsh so, ALL the for sale signs had it emblazoned across the top.

Demiwave - Ar Werth is 'for sale' in Welsh

oooh x-posts!

Thank you! Makes sense now (although I'd probably have made the same mistake as him)

My friend was in the middle of her nursing degree when she popped in for coffee. She asked us what "fattygood" meant. We were all a bit puzzled but asked her to descibe what she meant.

She replied "You know, when you've been running or tired, you're fattygood".

fatigued

We did set her straight before she made an arse of herself at uni. However, we are such kind friends we remind her at every opportunity we mention it now and again.

Ahhhh - thank you - I wouldn't have slept tonight!

My DD used to think that the phone wires from the roof to the telegraph poles keeps the houses up. like tent guy ropes.
Last week I commented that a group of new houses didn't have the wires ,so would they fall down.

"I was little" she retorts, coldly.

Arse. Forgive the extra we.

Too busy laughing.

I know someone who guessed that I would be pregnant for 'about eighteen months or something like that?'

I convinced a foreign tourist that haggis really was a wee animal. I told him they were small and hairy, with one leg shorter than the other so they could easily run around the hill. I said to see them he had to head out at Dawn and listen for their howls. He came back a few hours later very dissapointed

Was at a farm park with my partner on a trailer ride. The partner pointed to a calf and said that's a wee caldamorra, my partner replied what do you call it's mum a big caldamorra, to which the driver replied no it's a week old tomorrow

Sorry that was driver pointed to calf.

Many years ago now I worked in a bar, a new girl started who was very naive so we thought we'd have a bit of fun.

There were lots of other pubs and bars in the vicinity so we asked her to go and see if any of them had a skirting board ladder we could borrow.

Over half an hour later, having been round all the local bars and pubs she came back with a piece of bar pole that one of the other pubs had given her (playing along) and said 'will this do?'.

We all started laughing and she still didn't get it until we explained to her that given that a skirting board is only a few centimetres tall, one would never need a skirting board ladder!

My mum had a friend at colledge who when they were on holiday in Cornwall wanted to visit Buddy, he had seen it on the map and he fancied going there.They said it wasnt a place they had ever heard of and could he point it out on the map - he pointed to Bude.

My uncle convinced my aunt that the reason some of their double glazing needed to be replaced was due to an attack of 'glass worms'. She repeated this explanation to various friends and family, much to their amusement.

She had her revenge however; when uncle had an ear infection she applied some drops and, unable to locate any cotton wool, stuck a tampon in his ear and sent him off to work, much to the hilarity of the building site.

At a 'do' a few weeks ago, one of our friends won a bottle of wine.

When we sat down to order, she said, "No need to get red. We can have this one."
"We'll have to charge corkage, I'm afraid." said the waiter.
"Don't be ridiculous. It's a screw-top."

Five hours later, she was still insisting that corkage did not apply to bottles without corks.

Last week, my lovely mum asked me to text her my shopping list as I was ill and she had offered to go to the shop for me.

She was reading it to SF who was writing it down

Milk
Eggs
Ba-gelles

Oh Ba-gelles, sounds posh, will we get them in Asda?

Cue SD, its BAGELS, you eejit!

I just had a daft thought that I think qualifies for this thread. I was putting a new top on DD and it was too big, even though she has t-shirts the same size from the same shop that fit her. For half a second I wondered if they make the winter clothes bigger than the summer ones as the children will be slightly older by then.

When working at the university bar, my DH was asked why there were two buckets of ice. He joked that one was regular ice and the other was diet ice. Rather than laughing, new girl asked whether she should ask the customers which they wanted, he told her just use diet for diet coke and slimline tonic. She did it all night until someone explained!

I have a friend who regularly recounts this one;

When talking about the great train robbery one of our friends asked

'How did they manage to steal a train?!'