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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to think this couple are extracting the urine?

667 replies

PreviouslyonLost · 18/08/2011 15:55

I work mainly part-time, DH works off-shore. Two DC, no family nearby to help out but we manage. Our eldest DC is due to start Primary School and will only be in until noon for several weeks. To accommodate this I have used the majority of my annual leave or ensured that DH is home. Another couple who live locally and whose eldest DC will be starting school at the same time are now dropping heavy hints that we should help them out by collecting and looking after their child (This would be from noon until @5pm/or 3.30pm until @5pm when going in for full-days).

There has been no direct request (yet) but lots of 'it'll all work itself out' and 'we're all in the same boat' type comments Hmm. The DW of the couple has also commented to me that they could 'drop off their DC in the mornings' at another neighbour's house - a neighbour that otherwise they do not associate with or even speak to but who is a friend of mine.

The other couple are both Primary School teachers and have been off for the Summer Holidays (47 days) ...... so .... AIBU to think that the week before school term resumes in NOT the time to start thinking about childcare, far less make assumptions that other people should take up the slack?

OP posts:
TheSkiingGardener · 21/08/2011 21:06

I think we need to come up with outlandish but just about plausible reasons OP can't help.

I recommend "An python has escaped and is in the house somewhere. We've had the antidote but we can't et anyone else in"

RandomMess · 21/08/2011 21:07

I cannot believe they still haven't asked!

Sandalwood · 21/08/2011 21:08

I think they were going to work on your DC with the out-of-character-invitation today.
They were going to have DC ask you if their DC could come to school together in the morning. In fact I bet they were going to make your DC really want to go together.

nicciaa · 21/08/2011 21:17

I agree with sanalwood, they take your DC today and the pay back would have been, 'oh, can you take ODC to school tomorrow, guilting you into it, good try eh lol, its good you were on the ball lol (or rather, your lovely big balls did their job hehehe)

nicciaa · 21/08/2011 21:17

sandalwood, sorry, spelling is off tonite lol

slightlyoversharing · 21/08/2011 21:19

Can I be the first, in homage to Doris, to be the first to suggest you offer them a ticket? To the far side of fuck. One way.

Grin
missmogwi · 21/08/2011 21:19

I've been lurking on this thread all day, desparate to see the outcome!

However, a thought has just come to me-they might not have asked yet because surely they will take DC in the morning as first day?!

I think the cheeky bastards will strike after school tomorrow. Bet they are planning it right now on pisstakersnet.com.

missmogwi · 21/08/2011 21:20

*desperate.Blush

needanewname · 21/08/2011 21:23

OP -are they there now?

I'm sure I'm not goping to be the only one on here tomorrow hoping that you didn't cave in!!

cluelessnchaos · 21/08/2011 21:24

I sympathise massively with you, my dh works offshore and everyone thinks that means I am MORE available to childmind their kids. I'm on maternity leave atm and have to fight off requests to have kids.

Keep strong and listen to shoutyhamster she's a genius

TelephoneTree · 21/08/2011 22:12

or you could take the dramatic, to the point, in very good humour approach.

Immediately reply with...'good God, absoutely not. Are you mad?? Would you want to do that for my child??' Now then, seriously. What are you going to do? It's taken me months to sort us out. You've left it a bit late haven't you??'....

And then when the reply is 'yes, I've been shit, I need you, I'm desperate, will you help?', you just repeat what you said the first time Grin.

warthog · 21/08/2011 22:18

yes yes mismowgi - of course that's it!! even them heartless selves wouldn't not take their own kid on his first morning.

Teachermumof3 · 21/08/2011 22:29

Must go to bed soon, but really keen to know-surely they need childcare from at least 8-8.55 and 12-5.30 (then subsequently 3.30-5.30) every day if they both work full time? It seems irrelevant that there is a transition period as they haven't organised ANY wraparound care-or have I missed a post? SURELY they don't expect you do do all (forever?) of this out of the goodness of your heart?

If I have misunderstood, and it's just for 2/3 weeks they are wanting your help-what will they be doing for childcare when the child starts full-time school?

ExitPursuedByATroll · 21/08/2011 22:32

Hope all goes well tomorrow and that your DS enjoys his first day at school. The parent I have referred to before frequently abandons her DD and then gets her to ask her mates for a lift home - eventually someone caves - at least yours are too young for that tactic.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 21/08/2011 22:33

Not necessarily Warthog, I didn't take my children on their first morning (teacher, not allowed time off for that sort of thing).

Not to do with being heartless.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 21/08/2011 22:33

Am very interested to see how this one turns out, by the way. Am expecting them to turn up in the morning, early, kids in tow.

yellowsubmarine41 · 21/08/2011 22:37

How utterly bizarre that people who have a relationship with a registered childminder and who know that they will need before and after school childcare haven't actually sorted anything out.

Seriously. What utterly baffling behaviour.

I would do as others suggest and keep it very simple ie 'no, sorry, I can't/not feeling well/have enough with my two' rather than getting into 'haven't you sorted out childcare?' terrain.

AfternoonDelight · 21/08/2011 22:41
musicposy · 21/08/2011 22:58

As Endoplasmic says, if her own school is back, she won't be allowed time off to take her DC to school, first day or not. Teaching is very inflexible.

Which, OP, is all the more reason not to say yes! Because it won't just be before and after school. It'll be illness, dental appointments, school assemblies, sports days, after school clubs (yes, wait until your DC finish at 3pm and hers decides to stay on to a club until 3.45pm, or vice versa!). if you agree to anything, you will be the mug having to support/ drop off/ collect her DC at all these things, because she certainly won't be allowed the time off work. I'm liking your big balls, because you're going to need them. Grin

Am really hoping it is quiet because there's nothing to report/ you've all had an early night. Grin

proudfoot · 21/08/2011 23:41

Just read the whole thread on the edge of my seat... their cheekiness beggars belief! I also think they will just turn up and act as if it had all been arranged, so you had better put them right when they do - good luck and report back!

monoid · 21/08/2011 23:56

I had a "friend" who used to send her 7 year old ds around to my house on school mornings, just before I was going to leave, and he'd say that his Mum had sent him round and that he hadn't had breakfast yet Shock
Cue me throwing a cereal bar at him and telling him to eat it on the way!
She did this most days for a year. She also thought that I was at her beck and call for babysitting duties because "we're both single parents and need to stick together" Hmm
This was until she moved 10 mins down the road and her ds moved school (because it was more convenient for her) I believe she has someone else to look after her ds on demand now.
I've learnt my lesson and wouldn't let myself get into this situation again. I hope you manage to stand your ground. Don't feel bad about it because they obviously have the means to sort something out, but think they can get free childcare.
DON'T DO IT!
Good luck! :)

ZacharyQuack · 22/08/2011 00:53

Perhaps the neighbours have sorted out childcare and don't expect the OP to do it.

This whole thread, entertaining as it is, doesn't seem to be based on more than some over-entitled neighbours (who have been lead to believe that they are entitled to drop around at the OP's house whenever they like, because no one has actually told them otherwise) and some overheard playground comments.

ZacharyQuack · 22/08/2011 01:54

And please stop saying "extract the urine". It's Take the Piss.

Small steps to a more assertive you.

BirdOfPassage · 22/08/2011 02:29

There's more to it than that, Zach - you've missed the heavy hinting. And please don't bully the OP.

TheBossofMe · 22/08/2011 02:49

This reminds me so much of a couple I knew in the UK - they kept hinting that my nanny (who I paid for) was better than their childminder, and how it wouldn't cost me any more if I asked her to look after their DD as well. Cheeky mares.

Fortunately, dodged that bullet by moving shortly afterwards.

OP - keep us posted, I reckon they are going to turn up with DC in tow.