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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel that this is totally unfair?

126 replies

WomanDriver · 16/08/2011 23:23

Ok basically my 21yo brother has just moved in to a student house with three other student guys. One of his housemates (also 21) lives quite far away (up north)from the uni and has 2 kids at home with his gf.

When they took the student property everyone had decided on bedrooms ect. Then a few weeks later this guy decided his room wasn't big enough as he wanted his gf and kids to stay at some point(one is 8months and the other is 3 yo) and needed to fit a double bed and a single bed and a cot??!? He wanted to turn their living room into a bedroom for himself which the others comprimised and agreed on.

Originally the others had agreed for this guy to have his gf and 2 kids come down for a few days here and there when it was convenient (eg no assignment deadlines or exam periods). However my brother has just found out this guy plans to bring his gf and kids down in october for a FEW weeks!!
Him and the other guys dont really want young kids under their feet for that long (they are student guys after all) and dont know what to do. They say they would feel very uncomfortable and also dont feel that the house is baby proof (as you would expect a student house to be).

They have recently found out that their housemate has got his gf pregnant again which means that there will be a newborn baby in their house as well as two other kids. AND this guy expects his gf to travel from up north to south london on train with these children as well.

AIBU to feel that my brother and his two friends are being given a raw deal by this third mate?

OP posts:
Original poster
WomanDriver · 16/08/2011 23:25

PS. Sorry for the long post x

OP posts:
worraliberty · 16/08/2011 23:26

If they're not happy, they probably need to speak to the Landlord.

The baby proofing and the travelling is down to the parents though.

jasper · 16/08/2011 23:28

the guy with the kids is being unreasonable. Noone agreed to this arrangement at the outset

DuelingFanjo · 16/08/2011 23:29

talk to the landlord, it's probably breaking the tenancy agreement. Also I would say that he will need to pay more of the bills if he's bringing 3 extra people in.

Whatmeworry · 16/08/2011 23:30

C'mon, they are big boys, Complain to the Landlord about the guy and also tell him he is out big time as he is threatening their university results. Sorted.

squeakytoy · 16/08/2011 23:30

That is taking the piss! I would be asking him to move out, or moving out myself with my mates and leaving the third one to himself and his family.

What is the betting that the few weeks turns into permanent!

How on earth is this student providing for all these children he keeps spawning??

A1980 · 16/08/2011 23:31

I'd tell the landlord. He may not want an extra person and 3 young children in the house. It may breach the terms of the lease.

I would also have it out with him and say that they are not adjusting their lifestyles to accomodate him and will continue to live the student life, coming in late, etc.

I would also make this flat mate pay more of a share of the rent and bills while his GF is there as she will be in the house all day with her children using the utilities most.

Actuaklly fuck it, I would look for somewhere else to live and leave him and his GF to cover the rent for the whole house and lets face it, he will never find anyone else to move in with him un der those circumstnaces.

Rowena8482 · 16/08/2011 23:31

If she isn't a student and moves in, the house becomes liable to pay council tax. It would be at a single person discounted rate if gf is the only one who isn't a student, but iirc, the discount is just 25% so they would be liable for three quarters of the full council tax. It's only if everyone is a full time student that the property is exempt. That said, I'm not sure how many days she has to be there to be classed as living there. They might want to find out though, if the landlord suddenly gets hit with a big bill they'll be wanting the tenants to pay. (and I have a feeling it's a "jointly and severally" thing too so they're all equally liable, not just lover boy and gf, but not 100% sure) It might affect thier TV licence liability too. This could also give them a good reason/excuse to say no to the pisstaker...

Original poster
WomanDriver · 16/08/2011 23:31

That's the thing the landlord pretty much lets them get on with it :S. The thing is I am also worried about the kids because my brother and his mates like a drink, as students do, and will obviously get quite loud and silly. Im just not sure it's a great environment for young kids to live in if im honest.

OP posts:
acsec · 16/08/2011 23:32

I agree - tell him to speak to his landlord, I doubt the landlords insurance will cover that many people in the house.

worraliberty · 16/08/2011 23:33

It's not for you to worry about the kids on the parent's behalf...though I do understand what you're saying.

The LL might 'pretty much let them get on with it'...but not if he receives complaints from your brother and the other tenants.

Original poster
WomanDriver · 16/08/2011 23:34

Squeakytoy: he doesnt pay for them apparently. He told his gf that as he is a student he cant pay her child support.

And they cant move out as they have looked for other places but student houses get snapped up fast and all the crap is left :S.

I have suggested to tell the landlord and I think they will if he keeps his gf and kids down here for ages.

OP posts:
pigletmania · 16/08/2011 23:34

Your brother and the others should approach this guy, and tell him that its not acceptable! If not he should inform the landlord about it. He should rent a house if he wants his gf and kids to be with him.

AuntiePickleBottom · 16/08/2011 23:35

it up to your brother and the other housemate to put there foots down and say no.

A1980 · 16/08/2011 23:35

WomanDriver I would be advising your brother and the childless other flatmate to look for somewhere else to live and give notice to the landlord when they've got soemwhere. Let the pair of them pay for the house. Assuming they are young lads they might be quite uncomfortable tiptoeing around a woman who has just given birth and her new baby and other baby (who will barely be one) and 3 year old. Imagine the kitchen, the bathroom, CONSTANTLY in use. it would be a nightmare for them.

I would just tell them to look for somewhere else. It wont work.

AuntiePickleBottom · 16/08/2011 23:36

A1980 thats a really good suggestion :)

A1980 · 16/08/2011 23:37

Which uni are they at? Any chance of last minute hall places?

Or TBH I would rather live in a shitty house than one in which you can't use as your own.

worraliberty · 16/08/2011 23:37

Sod moving out because someone's taking the piss!

Why should they?

A1980 · 16/08/2011 23:37

Thanks Auntie Smile

I posted that before I saw that they can't find somewhere else to live now though. Sad

squeakytoy · 16/08/2011 23:38

He told his gf that as he is a student he cant pay her child support

Obviously cant buy a pack of condoms either Hmm

pigletmania · 16/08/2011 23:38

I am sure that the landlord will listen once the others want to move out and break their tenecies.

A1980 · 16/08/2011 23:38

*Sod moving out because someone's taking the piss!

Why should they?*

Becasue they can't physically stop him having his GF and kids come down. When faced with that, unfair or not, I would rather leave.

worraliberty · 16/08/2011 23:40

Yes they can A1980 they can complain to the Landlord that they rented a house with 4 adults in and the terms are being broken.

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 16/08/2011 23:41

Well of course it isn't ideal for the kids, but that is for their parents to worry about.

From your brother's perspective I'd be worried about him being unable to do any work with kids all over the place, and him being expected to pay a third of big utility bills.

What is the bloke on about 'child support'? If they are living together then they have shared costs.

pigletmania · 16/08/2011 23:41

Why should he move out, it will be inconvieniencing him and the others. NO this guy has to move out. I think that they should carry on coming in late and doing what they normally would be doing, I am sure the gf will get fed up and move back to her place. Noway should they adjust their lifestyles for them its not their problem. Keep on at the LL