AIBU to feel that this is totally unfair?

[WomanDriver]

Ok basically my 21yo brother has just moved in to a student house with three other student guys. One of his housemates (also 21) lives quite far away (up north)from the uni and has 2 kids at home with his gf.

When they took the student property everyone had decided on bedrooms ect. Then a few weeks later this guy decided his room wasn't big enough as he wanted his gf and kids to stay at some point(one is 8months and the other is 3 yo) and needed to fit a double bed and a single bed and a cot??!? He wanted to turn their living room into a bedroom for himself which the others comprimised and agreed on.

Originally the others had agreed for this guy to have his gf and 2 kids come down for a few days here and there when it was convenient (eg no assignment deadlines or exam periods). However my brother has just found out this guy plans to bring his gf and kids down in october for a FEW weeks!!
Him and the other guys dont really want young kids under their feet for that long (they are student guys after all) and dont know what to do. They say they would feel very uncomfortable and also dont feel that the house is baby proof (as you would expect a student house to be).

They have recently found out that their housemate has got his gf pregnant again which means that there will be a newborn baby in their house as well as two other kids. AND this guy expects his gf to travel from up north to south london on train with these children as well.

AIBU to feel that my brother and his two friends are being given a raw deal by this third mate?

Him and the other guys don't really want young kids under their feet for that long (they are student guys after all) and don't know what to do.

What to do, what to do? errrrr say NO!!! Tell the landlord what he's up to get him moved on, its a student house not a family home.

Worraliberty, the OP has said that the landlord leaves them to it. It would be easy for the guy to tell the landlord it's only for a short time and have him agree. Do you really think that the landlord is going to monitor the house constantly?

I would want to move out becasue it would fuck them over so badly. The pair of them would have to pay for the whole house themselves. That would be worth it for me.

Becasue they can't physically stop him having his GF and kids come down. When faced with that, unfair or not, I would rather leave

Nonsense, of course they can if they tell him his forune and complain to teh landlord. I doubt the contarct allows this, and if all of them tell the landlord they're not happy he willn act as no way will he rent a house again with a guy, a newboprn and a whole family occupying the place. .

They make it clear to the other guy that lfe is not going to be a bed of roses for his family as they won't compromise and they want the lounge back after a few days and he's got to pay more and a whole bunch of stuff that makes him get the message loud and strong.

FFS are they men or mice?

Ok I have just text my brother and told him that he should think about moving out and he text back saying that he has signed a contract where if he moves out before the tenancy is up he is liable for the outstanding rent. :(

I didnt think about that and now I remember I had the same sort of agreement when I was at university.

Ugh, I feel terrible for my brother because he doesnt want any confrontation and just a peaceful year at uni. I feel responsible because my parents live far away and I live closest to him.

Wow, I seriously can't imagine a young family and a house full of 21 yo students working out. It's totally different worlds colliding.

As a huge swot, I would be explaining at great length to this guy and to the LL that having babies around would seriously affect my ability to study and I would demand the family not be allowed to stay. Failing that, I would move out, to halls if necessary.

But ultimately, at 21, they're big boys and need to fix this problem themselves.

A1980 The LL 'leaves them too it'...just as he should leave them to live their lives without him interfering.

But when a LL gets a complaint from 3 out of 4 tenants...that's the time to act is it not?

No way should 3 people move out of a house because of the selfish actions of one person.

Fuck I forgot that too. damn student contracts.

He's just going to have to tell him no.

If this guy can't be arsed to use condoms then tbh he should take a year out of uni and go and live up north with them rather than inconveniencing the whole house.

X-post. He signed a contract to live in a student house. I think if he spoke to the LL and explained that the terms of the contract were not being met by his housemate, some kind of compromise WRT breaking the contract would be allowed.

Ok I have just text my brother and told him that he should think about moving out and he text back saying that he has signed a contract where if he moves out before the tenancy is up he is liable for the outstanding rent

What are the break clauses? Also, he should just refuse to pay the remaining because it wasn't the conditions he signed up to.

Anyway, he and his mate should get the other guys to change his plans, not them move out.

well woman life is like that and its a tough lesson your brother will have to learn. He will have to be more assertive in life or people like this will mess him about. Keep telling the landlord, and inform him of the legalities of having someone there that is not supposed to be.

Whatmeworry: I know it's silly but they are just young guys who are moving into their first place away from home and are a bit clueless about everything (you know how young guys can be lol). They dont want to fall out with this guy and it be awkward for the rest of the year. Hopefully the guy will move out.

Yes I agree with you 100% worraliberty but I was thinkig practically rather than just on principles.

If they succeed in getting his GF barred from moving in or worse she does move in, there is going to be a massive falling out either way. I had my run ins with housemates at uni and it is totally shit to be caught up in it.

I was looking at it based on the fact that it isn't just principles involved, if they get their own way, they have to live together still for a year which will e tense to say the least.

Your brother should refuse to pay the outstanding rent, that should make the LL listen. It is his problem if the conditions of the contract are not being met.

Well you cant be everybodies friends, and the other guy is taking the piss your brother and the others will loose out in the long run if they don't take a stand.

They dont want to fall out with this guy and it be awkward for the rest of the year

Life 101 :)

The guy is a taker, they will fall out with him anyway, better to fall out before his brood are esconced and claiming they have nowhere else to go etc etc and cannot be evicted.

And they can absolutely tell the landlord and threaten to break contract and walk, Landlord will act as there is no way he would be able to let the house afterwards.

I think they should look for some way out because it is going to end in tears and I can't see them wating to live together for a year after a big messy fall out.

Where in south London is the uni? There's got to be lots of other places and also all contracts have break clauses and it's fair to say it's not what they signed up to. The living room being used as a bedroom for 2 adults and 2 babies and a 3 year old? That means they don't even have a lounge anymore.

I have advised my brother to talk to the landlord, I know the youngest one (19) has and he didnt pay much attention. I think to keep pestering the landlord is the best thing that he can do. He knows that and he does need to grow a pair but I can understand that he doesnt want to cause bad feelings between people. Thanks for the advice so far. :)

A1980: They do have a lounge but it's bloody tiny (i've seen it). The original lounge that is now this guy's room is the biggest room in the bloody house! Im miffed at my brother for caving in to this guy's unreasonable demands :(.

I'm a 21 year old student, I have a student tenancy in London too. Your brother needs to read his tenancy agreement: I know if I want to move out I can if I find a replacement tenant. Also he needs to check that the other guy with kids isn't breaching any terms of the tenancy with the knowledge of the LL. Keep on at the landlord as I think this will invalidate LL insurance too.

There are LOADS of student houses and flats left in London in August/September. You have to look around and not just on the ULU lists though. Some are crap, some are good. There are even more places available if your brother is willing to move into a room in a pre-formed house or flatshare.

YANBU in thinking it's unfair, but it's not your battle. Your brother should be quite capable of sorting this out on his own. If he's struggling he can always approach student welfare/housing officers at the university (they all have them, and you can email throughout the holidays.)

Look, there are 3 of them vs one here. They need to say "no, sorry mate, that's not going to work for us. We rented this place as a 4." Why should three of them be hugely inconvenienced because one is making totally unreasonable demands.
And if he can't contribute money for his kids' upkeep as he's "only a student" then presumably he's not intending to pay an increased share of the bills. If he has bagged the main living space as his bedroom too, depriving them of an sufficiently large communal space, then he perhaps ought to be paying a larger share of the rent anyway.
I would also question why the GF is coming for a few weeks. As you say, this has all the warning signs of turning into a permanent stay.

If this guy insists (and I don't see how he can), then they're just going to have to make sure that they have numerous mates back for drinking seshes, and leave the loo seat up all the time and so forth. That ought to do it.

Tell him to go to his uni's advice centre or contact cab or shelter. If the dcsmight be at risk he cou/d contact ss.

Did they rent together, or did they just assemble under the roof? If the latter, the LL and problem tenant legally have less of a leg to stand on.

Read the contract, contact the Student Union, and also the Citizens' Advice Bureau?

I agree that he should seek proper advice from the university's advice service - usually based within the students union and/or student services. They can look at his contract and advise accordingly.

I would recommend that he goes to the Uni and the students Union for advice asap. try the National Union of Students..they must have a website.

He needs to find ways of getting this guy out. Do any of the other studnets have experts in law in the family that they could ultilise to bring about pressure?

I would also recommend that they, as a group, set about making the flat as 'studenty' as possible. I can't imagine a mum of young children wanting to live with lots of fine young men in full student mode for too long.

Check the tenancy agreement for what the terms and conditions are. Then if he (or in fact the 3 of them together) inform the LL that they are not happy especially if the agreement has been breached, then the LL has an obligation to act.

If he doesn't then he has broken his contract with them and they wont have to give notice. 3 people with-holding rent I am sure would make him act.