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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel that this is totally unfair?

126 replies

WomanDriver · 16/08/2011 23:23

Ok basically my 21yo brother has just moved in to a student house with three other student guys. One of his housemates (also 21) lives quite far away (up north)from the uni and has 2 kids at home with his gf.

When they took the student property everyone had decided on bedrooms ect. Then a few weeks later this guy decided his room wasn't big enough as he wanted his gf and kids to stay at some point(one is 8months and the other is 3 yo) and needed to fit a double bed and a single bed and a cot??!? He wanted to turn their living room into a bedroom for himself which the others comprimised and agreed on.

Originally the others had agreed for this guy to have his gf and 2 kids come down for a few days here and there when it was convenient (eg no assignment deadlines or exam periods). However my brother has just found out this guy plans to bring his gf and kids down in october for a FEW weeks!!
Him and the other guys dont really want young kids under their feet for that long (they are student guys after all) and dont know what to do. They say they would feel very uncomfortable and also dont feel that the house is baby proof (as you would expect a student house to be).

They have recently found out that their housemate has got his gf pregnant again which means that there will be a newborn baby in their house as well as two other kids. AND this guy expects his gf to travel from up north to south london on train with these children as well.

AIBU to feel that my brother and his two friends are being given a raw deal by this third mate?

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 16/12/2011 08:07

sorry -housing

KeepInMindItsAlmostChristmas · 16/12/2011 08:10

Hope your DB gets this sorted out, the bloke and his "family" sound vile

I think if the others threaten to leave the house then the landlord should kick the other bloke out

Strawbezza · 16/12/2011 08:14

They've been living like this for THREE MONTHS???

The 3 others should tell Student Dad to go. If he won't:

Then the 3 others should find somewhere else to live (they should've done this in August) and move out. The landlord can whistle for his rent. I'd like to see the LL try and get it! The conditions under which the original rental agreement was signed have changed radically. Can't believe Student Dad is abiding by HIS rental agreement - no way did he sign for anything other than a single occupancy.

exoticfruits · 16/12/2011 08:17

Exactly Strawbezza. A pity OP didn't come back to the thread in September for advice.

snuffaluffagus · 16/12/2011 08:54

God what a nightmare! Have they spoken to the bloke about it? Time for not falling out is over!

NomNomNom · 16/12/2011 09:05

Can I just say - the poor girlfriend! And poor children! Can't be nice for them to live like this. Did the 'student dad' pressure her to move down to be with him do you think? If they're having fights in the house, why not call the police? Surely it's a standard domestic violence issue, student house or not?! Call social services to check up on the children? Doesn't sound like a great life for anyone, the students or the children.

IMO, the act that this is a student house is a separate issue, but perhaps it's possible to get the 'student dad' to move out by involving agencies to do with the children's welfare.

cumbria81 · 16/12/2011 11:55

I'm not being funny but why the fuck can't your brother sort this out? He's 21 ffs.

MistressFrankly · 16/12/2011 12:17

Poor girlfriend? What woman in her right mind would drag her small kids to live in a student house where they are clearly not wanted?

Cant believe your brother and his friends let this continue so long, it sounds horrific. Tell them to grow a set and deal with it before the new term.

NomNomNom · 16/12/2011 13:02

A woman who is scared of her partner? Pressured? Brainwashed? Who has learning difficulties? Who had a rubbish childhood and thinks she doesn't deserve any better?

Olderyetwilder · 16/12/2011 13:05

I'm a landlord of a student house. As long as tennants pay the rent and don't damage anything I wouldn't dream of telling them how to live, so I wouldn't be getting involved. The others in the house will have to deal with it.

MistressFrankly · 16/12/2011 13:53

The fact OP said the woman involved demanded heating on all the time and left without paying bill to suggested to me the gf isnt much better than student dad. Op hasnt really said enough to say she was dragged to live in a student house against her will. AS i rad it they sound as bad s each other.

exoticfruits · 16/12/2011 14:39

If I was letting a student house I would care how they live! I would certainly not expect the numbers to double.

FabbyChic · 16/12/2011 14:41

HOw old is this thread

FreezusOfNazareth · 16/12/2011 14:49

If I was your bro I'd play loud Radiohead / NWA / Black Sabbath every night and force them out that way. Fight fire with fire.

exoticfruits · 16/12/2011 14:50

It was started in August but it was OP who came back to update-which is sensible-otherwise she has to go all through it again.

exoticfruits · 16/12/2011 14:51

I can't understand why your brother and the others didn't treat it like a normal student house and have friends around in the evening-with the sort of noise you would expect. They have just been far too nice and are paying the price.

LineRunnerCrouchingReindeer · 16/12/2011 15:02

I kind of agree with nursenic.

Why didn't your brother do anything in the last three months?

SantasENormaSnob · 16/12/2011 15:04

Farcical that they let it continue for so long.

mollymole · 16/12/2011 15:04

Now that he is gone why don't they just change the locks (seeing as the Landlord does not seem to care).They would be better off coughing up the rest of the rent between the 3 of them than living with the piss taker.
Also, have they contacted the local housing authority/social services and told them about this overcrowding and unsuitable conditions that 3 small children are living in

kelly2000 · 16/12/2011 15:08

If it is a rented house then he cannot just turn the living room into the bedroom, and cannot move his fmaily in as a) it will be against the contract and b) the landlord might not have a license for this many people. Havign a family living in the room will be against the rules I woudl imagine. They need to tell the landlord what is going on, as it might not be so easy for them to up and leave if they have signed a contract. I might also add they are paying rent for a house with a living room, so if this guy is taking it he should pay more rent.

If the landlord does nto care, then contact the council as the landlord is probably breaking the rules too. he cannot have six people in a house rented for three especially if two of them are children.

Ihavewelliesbutitssunny · 16/12/2011 16:43

I'm sure someone has already said this but Student Unions should have a welfare officer and possibly also someone who advises on housing issues. I think these people would be more useful than the landlord and your brother sould definately speak to them re the punch-up outside his room.

Floggingmolly · 16/12/2011 16:57

Op, I think you were given all this advice last time? If your brother (or you) did absolutely nothing to change the situation last time, what exactly are you looking for now - a magic wand? Xmas Hmm. You can't help people who won't help themselves.

allthatglittersisnotgold · 16/12/2011 17:32

OMG. That is not reasonable at all. It's one thing having a pregnant gf with you, but actually not fair to his student experience to have children in his house. He will have time for that later. It really won't be safe /a nice envirnoment for the children either.

Shutupanddrive · 16/12/2011 17:41

This thread is from August!

exoticfruits · 16/12/2011 19:05

It is from August-but it is an update by OP which is sensible-it saves explaining. It is quite different from someone trawling through and not starting their own.

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