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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To Think Stupid Woman Lovely Man

277 replies

Mitmoo · 16/08/2011 21:40

Driving home this evening son ASD/OCD, mum heart disease disabled, and the tyre goes as flat as a pancake. I was on a country road so I pull into a village and park up in a safe place. Village idiot (woman) says "your car smells like it is burning"

"I have a flat" I reply.

"So you do" she says. Then says "can you move your car it's on the road outside my house". No drive, just a road, no yellow lines, nothing, but my car had the audacity to come to a halt outside her house.

I asked not in a nasty tone but more one of bewilderment if she is joking, she then looks embarrassed.

Another man from the same village came out and me being a dumb ass woman and ashamed to admit I can't change a tyre on MN, changed it for me then didn't want the £20 I was trying to give him for helping. He did take it as we were so grateful. Having him helping helped keep my son calm, and made sure we all got home in one piece.

He was absolutely lovely, happy to help, a true gent. I haven't had help with my car since I was a size 10 and wearing skirts that my Mum called pelmets.

Son is very shaken, doesn''t cope well with things out of the norm but if it wasn't for the lovely man he'd be in a terrible state now.

But we're home (obviously) am I being unreasonable to think the woman was a silly moo to ask me to move my broken down gilloppy when it had a flat and the man was a true gent and happy to help me, my Mum and son on our way?

OP posts:
MNHQ
RowanMumsnet · 17/08/2011 21:59

As most of you probably know, we at MNHQ think that open discussion and education is one of the board's strongest points. Many posters on this thread have made an eloquent case for the term the OP used being disablist, especially given that it's not a term universally recognised as being offensive. We think that that's a debate worth airing (and one that wouldn't make much sense if the OP were deleted.)

But, as ever, we are interested to hear what you think about it.

Thanks,
MNHQ

2shoes · 17/08/2011 22:01

oh
so anyone can start a thread using a disablist term and as long as someone tries to educate them, it stays.
I did think mn hq had decided to take a stand with this. seems I was wrong. very wrong.
would it be the same if it was racism?

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 17/08/2011 22:01

bloody hell what a load of shit someone is deletion trigger happy tonight

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 17/08/2011 22:02

nothing really changes on here 2shoes

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 17/08/2011 22:04

never had that many messages deleted on one thread........and yet the really shitty ones stay Hmm lovely

2shoes · 17/08/2011 22:05

no will retire to the site stuff thread as I am disgusted that this has happened yet again

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 17/08/2011 22:06

groundhog day or what.
And I suspect the OP gets exactly what they intended from this thread

2shoes · 17/08/2011 22:07

your not wrong, but as long as mn hq think they are being educated, it is ok by them.\yeah like the op gives a fuck

mamalino · 17/08/2011 22:14

I'm fed up with this shit really - particularly tonight. Why should we (parents of DCs with SN) always have to be the ones educating people? "Oh it's an interesting debate"... Not for us, this is our actual lives and crap like this makes it harder IRL.

This is why I feel I would sometimes just stay on the SN boards.

And for the record, I'm more angry that the OP tried to turn this around and say other people are the ones being offensive... Aren't people picking up on this at all?

Anyway I said I wasn't rising to it, I think that's exactly what OP wants.

Off to bed.

2shoes · 17/08/2011 22:20

i can' t go on the sn topic, but this has made me very angry

festi · 17/08/2011 22:21

"ecpecially given that it is not a term universally recognised as being offensive". Im a bit confused by what you are saying rowan, are you saying its not universally recognised as offensive or are you saying that statement is worth debate?

glitterkitten · 17/08/2011 22:25

OP offence seems to be more precious to MNHQ than the offences others may have taken to the term used. Interesting that .

festi · 17/08/2011 22:31

I dont have a child myself with special needs, but I did have a sister with downsyndrome and as child the constant sticking up for her .As a family being excluded and not having a holiday, not being able to go to the cinema, or even the supermarket, let alone the abuse experienced on our own fucking door step by neighbours.

so I can tell you this IT IS UNIVERSALLY OFFENSIVE......end of!!! where exactly is the debate??? it is black and white there is not gray area. This thread isnt educating anyone it is adding to the fight that many people have to go through every day of thier lives, whilst the people who get a kick out of abusing and damaging peoples lives get spoon fed a great big kick.

AnneWiddecomesArse · 17/08/2011 22:33

Bloody hell.
Flat tyre to a disussion about village idiots et all.

OP. You are a bleeding idiot for driving even a short distance on a flat. You stop the moment you realise you have got a flat.
For most drivers they actually notice a difference in balance and steering, way before this point.It may well be (and usually is) a slow puncture. Good drivers check tyre pressure consistently and regularly.
The ability to change one's own tyre is a basic driving skill.
It's not beyond the village idiot; so I'm sure next time you will manage it.

2shoes · 17/08/2011 22:34

festi i feel your pain, we had 5 years of being targeted by the local yobs. hearing that they called my lovely dd a spaz made me feel sick,
mn hq really should not allow these terms on here, I am fed up with "education" excuse, at no times did the op want to be educated, she just made herself the victim.

Peachy · 17/08/2011 22:34

To bastardise a quote (sorry orwell)

and as mum to 3 asd who do get refered to as idiots and one who has been called the village idiot

two shoes good
Mitmoo bad

See what i did there?

nights.

Peachy · 17/08/2011 22:36

Fendi Hugs

ds2 (sort of midway between NT and SN) recently admitted he was thumped at school becuase 'your brother is a fuckin < R word>'

So you know I don't like these words

Clearly the word was used by his parents, and it passes on in malevolent spirit

festi · 17/08/2011 22:37

you could argue nigger or paki or poof or dyke or queer or calling someone a peado just for the hell of it isnt universally offensive because there is always someone who might not find it offensive.

2shoes · 17/08/2011 22:38

Peachy ds was bullied at school they used his sister to hurt him, never used village idiot, but no doubt someone will at sometime, espicially if parents think it is an ok term.

festi · 17/08/2011 22:43

I couldnt count the amout of times I got my head kicked in or managed to kick someone elses head in for hurting her, luckily there where four more of us so we did usualy get the better of them in the end Grin. you know but joking aside that is not a nice experience and I hope in this day and age with "appropriate" education kids and parents shouldnt be still experiencing it.

2shoes · 17/08/2011 22:45

doesn't work does it, I have been on here for 5 years, and still crap like this is allowed!
we are ok now, my ds is 19 and they know what will happen if they say it now.

festi · 17/08/2011 22:50

but its sad 2shoes and peachy for this to be viewed as acceptable on here of all places is very disapointing.

festi · 17/08/2011 22:51

hopefully rowan you have read these few last posts had have been educated by them your self.

2shoes · 18/08/2011 07:48

sad and angry to see the op still here.

Original poster
Mitmoo · 18/08/2011 07:53

2shoes sad and pathetic to think you and your cronies can bully me off. I've seen better behaviour a todddler's group.

OP posts:
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