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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To Think Stupid Woman Lovely Man

277 replies

Mitmoo · 16/08/2011 21:40

Driving home this evening son ASD/OCD, mum heart disease disabled, and the tyre goes as flat as a pancake. I was on a country road so I pull into a village and park up in a safe place. Village idiot (woman) says "your car smells like it is burning"

"I have a flat" I reply.

"So you do" she says. Then says "can you move your car it's on the road outside my house". No drive, just a road, no yellow lines, nothing, but my car had the audacity to come to a halt outside her house.

I asked not in a nasty tone but more one of bewilderment if she is joking, she then looks embarrassed.

Another man from the same village came out and me being a dumb ass woman and ashamed to admit I can't change a tyre on MN, changed it for me then didn't want the £20 I was trying to give him for helping. He did take it as we were so grateful. Having him helping helped keep my son calm, and made sure we all got home in one piece.

He was absolutely lovely, happy to help, a true gent. I haven't had help with my car since I was a size 10 and wearing skirts that my Mum called pelmets.

Son is very shaken, doesn''t cope well with things out of the norm but if it wasn't for the lovely man he'd be in a terrible state now.

But we're home (obviously) am I being unreasonable to think the woman was a silly moo to ask me to move my broken down gilloppy when it had a flat and the man was a true gent and happy to help me, my Mum and son on our way?

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 17/08/2011 18:33

It's another poster festi, with those initials. Loads of drama in her life too

MNHQ
RowanMumsnet · 17/08/2011 18:35

Hello folks

Please remember to report any troll suspicions to MNHQ, rather than posting them on the thread. And please also remember to refrain from personal attacks.

We're very grateful for all troll reports, and they do all get looked into very carefully.

Thanks,
MNHQ

mamalino · 17/08/2011 18:43

Oh ffs. I will try again. Are you TLES, Mitmoo?

mamalino · 17/08/2011 18:44

May I clarify also, I would not assume someone was trolling just on the basis of a name change, I genuinely wondered if you are the same person.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 17/08/2011 19:04

Rebecca MNHQ with due respect lots of people have messaged HQ and reported this poster / thread. There recently seems to have been a lot of trolling going on here so I really don't think you can blame people for being suspicious. Also this person has been pretty offensive to other posters.

HopeEternal · 17/08/2011 19:09

mamalino, if you search both posters' history you'll find that they overlap by quite a time. So, unless it's been switch and switch again, they are not the same person.

MNHQ
RowanMumsnet · 17/08/2011 19:11

Hi Hobnobs

Lots of people have indeed reported the thread, and we are genuinely grateful for that. We would still appreciate it, though, if people didn't shout 'troll' on the thread itself.

If there are any particular posts on here that you think are personal attacks, do please report them and we'll have a look.

Thanks,
MNHQ

Original poster
Mitmoo · 17/08/2011 20:07

Mamaline I am no one but me, I have not had another screen name, nor will I be changing my screename as previously advised by other posters.

For the record I was probably one of the first to report this thread and ask for it to be removed, as the attacks were unbelievable on what was intended to be a lighthearted thread, given that in my OP I stated I was actually in a village when this happened.

I had also ignored it hoping it would die down but that hasn't happened either.

I am 100 percent sure that if someone else had posted the same thing it would have passed in the blink of an eye.

So far from attention seeking I asked MNHQ a few times early on today when I saw how the attacks were unfurling to delete the thread. Sadly they haven't but that is the chance you take when posting on a public message board.

I am not sure whether to be bullied off the site which would be seen as a "victory", or to stay and refuse to allow the pack mentality to win.

I am just surprised people would actually care about one single solitary poster enough to attack their every move.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 17/08/2011 20:11

why do you think if someone else had posted the same then i would have passed by 'in the blink of an eye'? why do you think you have been pulled up on your post mitmoo?

joric · 17/08/2011 20:16

Mitmoo- Re-read this thread and look at what people have actually said to you now that some posts have been removed.

I really don't think that you are being attacked throughout.

SarahStratton · 17/08/2011 20:17

I reckon she would be fantastic in the face of a mass Zombie invasion Grin

Pandemoniaa · 17/08/2011 20:18

Indeed - No. 7 "the one that loses it".

LineRunner · 17/08/2011 20:29

I do think that SaraSidle asks a pertinent question.

mamalino · 17/08/2011 20:36

Thanks for clarifying you are not TLES, OP.

However I think you are coming across as a bit of a knob so can't really be arsed to feed your thread which will no doubt go on and on as per. Think you owe 2shoes (and others) an apology though.

Oh, and YABU.

InFlames · 17/08/2011 20:44

You started to cry bully when people were very reasonably disagreeing with your choice of words Mitmoo - maybe AIBU isn't the best place for you to post of you can't hack people thinking YABU.

TandB · 17/08/2011 20:52

For what it is worth, OP, I don't think you are a troll or a namechanger. I do, however, think you could have made a better start here.

I think for a lot of people the issue is about give and take. You have had some good support on threads about your DS's ASD. People have taken the time to give you that support and encouragement. That is the 'take' on your part.

The 'give' in this case should have been to accept that you, inadvertently or otherwise, used a term that people disliked, apologise or clarify your meaning, and move on politely. Instead you turned on people and started throwing accusations about.

If you want to be part of a community, online or otherwise, a bit of give and take is vital. At the moment it just feels a bit one-sided - as though you are only willing to engage courteously as long as things are going your way and you are not prepared to make any concessions to the sensibilities and opinions of others.

I am not suggesting you simply roll over and take any amount of criticism - but there has to be some middle ground between that and "Mitmoo is always right and everyone else is a cowbag".

If you don't want to namechange then that is up to you - people on MN are perfectly willing and able to put rucks behind them, accept a change of approach and treat a poster on the basis of what they say here and now, not what they said a month ago. If you don't want to make any changes then, again, that is up to you, but you and MN are likely to continue to have a thorny relationship.

It is entirely up to you, but please do have a think about some of the things that have been said to you, and some of the things you have said in response.

festi · 17/08/2011 21:29

I am absolutly enraged why I have had other posts on here deleted other than the one I accused mitmoo of being a troll??? can MNHQ advice what was wrong with my other posts. It seems its ok for the OP to use disablist language and start a thread that either knowingly or ignorant to the outrage it would case, and then continue to ensue such language and deliberatly inflame this thread without the thread being pulled.

2shoes · 17/08/2011 21:38

WTF MY POST WAS DELETED yet the disablist crap the op posted remains.

festi · 17/08/2011 21:43

I know its shocking isnt it, I dont even know what in my other posts I said that was wrong. The problem is mn do not let you know even that they are deleted let alone why.

MNHQ
RowanMumsnet · 17/08/2011 21:47

Hello

All the posts that were deleted were either personal attacks, or troll-hunting. If you think any other personal attacks have been missed, do please report them and we'll take a look.

Thanks
MNHQ

GypsyMoth · 17/08/2011 21:48

what about the disablist ones Rowan?

2shoes · 17/08/2011 21:48

so why is the disablist post still here???
yet a post calling the op on it is deleted???

glitterkitten · 17/08/2011 21:49

Pathetic

GypsyMoth · 17/08/2011 21:52

2shoes?

was it you who said recently that all disablist comments were now tackled by mnhq?

festi · 17/08/2011 21:53

ok so head was a personal attack only as it came after dick. but I dont agree any of the others where, I wouldn't mind a detailed explination though, would accept this through pm or email.

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