Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think I should not be threatened with a ban for questioning the use of offensive language?

1000 replies

thefirstMrsDeVere · 16/08/2011 15:35

I am a member of a very heavily moderated website. Swearing is not allowed at all, threads are pulled regularly if people are mean to each other, not threads about threads are tolerated and you are not allowed to mention anything said before on the boards at all. All these things will result in deletion and warnings.

I have been a member for years (before mumsnet even). There was a particularly nasty thread that was allowed to go on for pages which ended with a woman referring to children with LDs as 'being tapped in the head'..

I started a seperate thread wanting to discuss the use of disabilist language on the site and asking why words like bitch, whore and piss were not allowed yet retard, mong and spaz were.

I was told that some people might think it was ok to use those words so they couldnt filter them out, it wouldnt be fair.

I continuned to question this in a firm but polite manner and have now discovered I have been sent a message telling me that my style of posting is offensive and I have been taken straight to a final warning!

Not that I give a toss, the site is crap. I guess I am taken aback that you can be pretty much threatened into silence if you dare question the mods on this HUGE and well known site.

Its an issue that means a lot to me. If it was a site on which everything went language wise I wouldnt have bothered. But on this prissy site where you cant say bugger - you can call something retarded or monged out with no bother.

I think its bollocks and makes me glad I have mumsnet to come and tell people to fuck off on. Grin

OP posts:
WannaBeMarryPoppins · 16/08/2011 23:52

They don't seem to grasp that language changes and evolves somehow, and that words that were ok in the past, such as retarded, are not acceptable anymore.

seeksnewnamewithgsoh · 16/08/2011 23:52

I'm taking myself to bed now otherwise I won't sleep. Slightly, that's what I keep wanting to type but I'm too angry to type straight. And I can't read the thread properly either AF.

Monty, I kept my twigs but AF already had the rugs. And someone else got the pebbly shit but I can't work ou who

WannaBeMarryPoppins · 16/08/2011 23:53

Oh it seems se has just finished the discussion by saying OVER AND OUT. You think we have to leave now?

I can't believe there are people that stupid out there to say that disabled people don't know they are being hurt by language, so the language can be used Sad

piprabbit · 16/08/2011 23:55

Can't believe what I am reading. To quote: "Im sure that there is only a small percentage of people with disabilities which are described as retarded, actually know what that mean so how can they know if they are offended by it? They need to understand it before they can decide if they like it or not and based on my experience of people like this, they dont know any different so in conclusion, the issues have arisen from the people closest to them!!

It seems its the family, friends and others close to them that need to deal with the issues they clearly have with that person being the way they are!!"

OMFG - people with disabilities don't understand the word retarded - it is their families being over-sensitive and not accepting them for who they are that are causing all the problems.

insanityscatching · 16/08/2011 23:56

I feel grubby reading some of those comments Sad I've been fortunate I think never to have encountered the like before.

WannaBeMarryPoppins · 16/08/2011 23:58

Yes, that's the pst I was referring to piprabbit. I have worked with people with special needs before and while some students didn't know anything about abussive language, others were painfully aware. BUt this shouldn't matter. Can I call deaf people a cunt because they won't hear?

backwardpossom · 16/08/2011 23:58

That Jo F is a right piece of work huh? Fanny.

WannaBeMarryPoppins · 16/08/2011 23:59

Whoever is Deborah-I love you!

MikaBella · 16/08/2011 23:59

Can I just say I am so sorry for people that have to deal with these utter fucking excuses for actual human beings (you know, the species that's supposed to be evolved and empathetic) in RL.

Just 'speaking' to them online tonight has left me raging.

Wine all round.

NotQuiteSoDesperate · 16/08/2011 23:59

Had to post again - and now must go to bed as I'm still seething!

slightlymad72 · 17/08/2011 00:01

I am sure there are a large percentage of disabled people that have been called retard who have a full understanding of its meaning and are offended. But hey ho we'll ignore them, what do they know, they're disabled. nb thats sarcasm before anyone misinterprets

Anyone got any spare disinfectant, I feel soiled.

backwardpossom · 17/08/2011 00:01

waves at Wannabe

InfestationofLannisters · 17/08/2011 00:01

Where's the link? I'm being attacked for wanting to know about Nice Ham and my attentions should be elsewhere.

NotQuiteSoDesperate · 17/08/2011 00:02

My son knows the meaning of the word... oh, here I go again! Definitely off now.

seeksnewnamewithgsoh · 17/08/2011 00:04

I was walking away and everything! Comparing Paki/Nigger with Scots? Seriously? For fuck's actual sake!

WannaBeMarryPoppins · 17/08/2011 00:05

Waving right back to you backwardpossom

I may have laughed really loudly at the there must be a lot of things you don't get comment. So true, so true

And Mika, I agree. I have never come across this attitude. i volunteered in a sepcial needs school once and everyone there was so supportive of the students, it had a great atmosphere. I had no idea people still see those with special needs as second class citizens, whos desires can be completely ignored, as they won't know better anyway.

InfestationofLannisters · 17/08/2011 00:08

Thanks MikaBella.

Bloody hell, I don't know where to start! Angry

AnyFucker · 17/08/2011 00:20

off to bed

the standard of debate (over there) is very, very poor

MikaBella · 17/08/2011 00:21

OMG

So anyone still awake, please see my last post.

'spastic' (relevant to my post which I will c+p here) has been filtered!!

lizapenhaligon1 · 17/08/2011 00:21

Hey, Ive been joining in the posts on netmums and just want to say im digusted by whats been said against people with learning disabilities and have now contacted the mods about the point you were putting across. In no way should those terms be aloud when racist words and swear words are filtered.

Feel dirty reading some of the posts wrote on the threads. I can honestly say, ive been on the site for around two years and its probably the first time ive seen real predjudice. But maybe it has been there but has been deleted before I even had a chance to read it.

MikaBella · 17/08/2011 00:22

As in my last post on the thread:

Interstingly, no one has replied to my earlier comment asking if anyone knew what Scope used to be called.

For the less enlightened, they were The * Society.

And while spasticity is still a recognised medical term, even today, they changed their name - for a charity this is a huge undertaking. Rebranding is not to be taken lightly. If it doesn't work it can cost them their income base.

They had to change their name because '*' became such a widespread derogatory term, it actually was affecting their fundraising.

This shows you the true level of how words can affect more than what people may think is a throw away comment.

AnyFucker · 17/08/2011 00:23

mika, sorry love, have logged out and don't have the energy to go back in

need my bed (and a brain bleach)...had my fill of it Sad

MikaBella · 17/08/2011 00:25

Not surprised. Me too.

I could rant all day there. And it wouldn't make a bit of notice.

Night AnyFucker

MikaBella · 17/08/2011 00:27

Addled brain...meant to say 'another level' not 'a true level'

Too much NM made me less coherent than usual.

Goodnight all.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In
This thread is not accepting new messages.