to think I should not be threatened with a ban for questioning the use of offensive language?

[thefirstMrsDeVere]

I am a member of a very heavily moderated website. Swearing is not allowed at all, threads are pulled regularly if people are mean to each other, not threads about threads are tolerated and you are not allowed to mention anything said before on the boards at all. All these things will result in deletion and warnings.

I have been a member for years (before mumsnet even). There was a particularly nasty thread that was allowed to go on for pages which ended with a woman referring to children with LDs as 'being tapped in the head'..

I started a seperate thread wanting to discuss the use of disabilist language on the site and asking why words like bitch, whore and piss were not allowed yet retard, mong and spaz were.

I was told that some people might think it was ok to use those words so they couldnt filter them out, it wouldnt be fair.

I continuned to question this in a firm but polite manner and have now discovered I have been sent a message telling me that my style of posting is offensive and I have been taken straight to a final warning!

Not that I give a toss, the site is crap. I guess I am taken aback that you can be pretty much threatened into silence if you dare question the mods on this HUGE and well known site.

Its an issue that means a lot to me. If it was a site on which everything went language wise I wouldnt have bothered. But on this prissy site where you cant say bugger - you can call something retarded or monged out with no bother.

I think its bollocks and makes me glad I have mumsnet to come and tell people to fuck off on.

ooooooo what a wierd, lopsided, land of twisted values netmums must be.

all other issues aside, huge amount of respect to Fanj O, cos the threads still there

Can't believe the banality of this entire thread

Gang warfare like it or loathe it.

Really, organicgardener? You think challenging prejudice when you see it is "gang warfare"? I don't. I think it is very important to challenge prejudice and the ignorant use of language - the point is not what you think about the word but the effect it could have on a reasonable proportion of society. Terribly arrogant to think your own solitary opinion matters far more than all those people who could be offended by your ignorant use of a word that has become offensive through its use as a hate-filled invective.

I am very impressed that thread hasn't been pulled so far and am sure by tomorrow morning it will have disappeared, sadly. No doubt the mods are in bed.

AnyF - have PMd you. :)

LizaP - nice to see you - you can pick a nickname that doesn't tell everyone who you are here if you want to :)

It's a board war and you're a coward for going there under another name.

You're childish and silly.

But each to their own.

Sandpit anyone?

:)

Lost me there, sorry OG. I didn't "go there under another name". I didn't post there at all as I CBA to remember my login details. Just read the thread, which is open to anyone to read.

Yeah right :)

Must just mention, fanj O is not me

I am yet to post there, but think I will ask if it would therefore be ok to call their babies by abusive terms, since they won't understand

aww, think it's gone, would have loved to ask that.

yay I found the new thread

I use NM as much as MN, but never go on the coffeehouse, my local noticeboard is full of usefully info. But I'm at their ignorance over language. Anyone link me to the thread on there, is has it gone?

Has anyone pointed out to their SNs board what other posters thnk of their children?

Twats.

www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/general-coffeehouse-chat-514/coffee-lounge-18/623183-free-speech-hate-speech-3.html#post6451450

www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/general-coffeehouse-chat-514/coffee-lounge-18/623183-free-speech-hate-speech-3.html#post6451450

here, wallaby

Thanks huni

Sorry that was meant to be .

I found the thread very hard to read with all the things going on on the page, so only skimmed.

Some of the people who inhabit netmums are terrible twonks aren't they?

I am just astounded by their ignorance! They really can see the incongruous nature of banning offensive "describing words" referring to race but not those which refer to disability.

To be honest, I don't think they should be banned/filtered. They need to be jumped on whenever they are used and the users educated in just how offensive they are.

The fact that you can't say spastic but can say spaz shows how filtering won't work. It is utterly ridiculous.

I can't post there as I think I"ve gone from Naughty Step to banned.

I were using describing words for some of the posters over there, I would be calling a Scunthope a Scunthorpe.

I don't get why they think disabled people wouldn't understand these names. They have only to pop over to BBC's Ouch! Messageboard to find plenty of very articulate, intelligent people who would understand all too well these hurtful, unacceptable terms.

Surely they're winding you up? Surely no-one in this day and age believes that disability somehow renders a person brainless?

am waiting for the words "it's PC gorn mad"

My god. Did they really say that disabled people have to suck it up?

So netmums users (mostly) think it's ok to use terms that hurt people - because they are only disabled people and how they feel doesn't matter, I assume?

Thanks to nmers like liza who sees that it is unacceptable and is going to stand up there and say so, eh?

I haven't bothered going to look because as a person with disabilities myself, and the mother of 2 children with disabilities, I don't trust myself to even try to interact with people who think my children don't matter enough to avoid the use of words that are taking the piss out of disabled people, or using words that are meant to describe them to insult 'normal' people by comparing them - if that makes any sense.

It hurts to know that people think your children (by dint of their being disabled) are so - what? sub human?, worthless?, stupid?... that their insult of choice is to call people names that imply they have disabilities.

And the people who own and run the forum agree and support this view.

By allowing and therefore supporting and endorsing this view, are netmums owners themselves not in breach of disability legislation? - supporting such views and allowing them to stand on their website?

Or perhaps they are simply happy to be known as the parenting site that supports the right of users to use terms that are offensive to disabled people? There will always be stupid people who think that other people's feelings don't matter, but a business cannot support the use of terms that are offensive to disabled people.

And I hope you're reading this, netmums.