Fed up with boys in women's changing rooms at pool

[Clary]

Not really AIBU, more may I rant please?

Actually wrote longer post then seem to have lost it, but wanted to moan about number of big lads I have spotted lately in women's changing rooms at pool. Rule is 8yo and over go in correct sex room.

I tend to say nothing having been verbally attacked before, and also told I W A bit U; but today I did query it with a woman and was told such nonsense as "they won't let them go in the men's as they are too young" (they were 9 and 10) and "nobody uses the men's anyway" (??!!).

Told the staff and they said they would tell the women when she came out; but really, why do people think their 10yo boy must change in the women's? What 10yo boywants to anyway? I am not mad about him standing there as I get changed and if I were a 14yo girl I would probably be very unhappy.

The woman today said "well, all the mums will be washing their kids after the swim" eh?? My 8yo can be a bit hopeless but even he can manage a reasonable shower and dress deal. What is the matter with people?

And breathe. Vent over, thanks for listening

poncey - I agree that solutions are possible, even if it is not possible to provide the ideal. My council has mainly very old swimming pools on sites with no room for expansion. They have been talking for ages about knocking some of them down and rebuilding a new one, but nothing ever happens.

In the pool I go to there are only small same sex communal changing rooms. There are no cubicles and school groups use these changing rooms - the pool is closed to the public during school times - except over lunch time.

saintly - Yes the example I gave of someone with a PD did need a carer. But lots of elderly people have difficulties with dressing, but don't need a carer. For example, many elderly people struggle with putting on socks and shoes and doing up bras. They certainly don't need specialist equipment, but they may need help from a partner.

I'm not sure what your point is really lesley. If they need help from another person then they would come under my heading of 'unless they need a carer' - carer obviously being used in the broadest sense, when I take my son I am a mother, but for the purposed of the argument above referring to myself as a carer. If they need mixed changing then everything I said above applies.

Sardine you seem determined to see the worst in every single thing I write. I was trying to clarify that the arguments above were not necessarily applicable to those with PD's either because they were perfectly able to change themselves and didn't need patronising by me assuming they didn't (I must have been reading too much Disability Bitch) or because their needs were very, very much greater in terms of access and therefore would need a different set of arguments. In that case the cost issue that Andrew has raised several times is indeed very relevant (especially for SME of course). Unfotunately. Luckily the message does seem to be getting through and new build supermarkets/sports centres and other large public spaces do seem to fairly standardly incorporate Changing Places facilities (clearly they need to become a lot cheaper or government grant supported if they are ever to be affordable for SME's). The idea wasn't to list every potential condition and say whether my arguments applied or not, more to recognise that my arguments above only really stand for LD's. I was doing the opposite of discrimination in trying to make clear that I am not for one moment suggesting that what applies to LD's applies to PD's as well. In fact providers need to be thinking about all forms of disability. If I was a provider who was alerted to a barrier I hadn't thought about (for any disability) I would start by talking to the person about what needed to change to make the service accessible and then would see whether it was possible and propose alternatives if not.

Poncey yes agree - usually some sort of solution should be possible.

maypole have you had any problems yet taking your son with you? Will there be a solution in the future? Can the pool provide another person to help or is that inappropriate for your dd or forbidden by pool management? How does your son feel about accompanying you?

assuming they did not assuming they didn't

and supermarkets 2 posts above should be shopping centres. Although bloody hell larger supermarkets should provide Changing Places, they make enough profit. :emails Tesco:

saintly is right

my needs as Pd are very differnt to my sons needs Ld wise.And mine would cost more than his without a doubt .

And pd without having Ld as well chances are they will have a carer of the same sex due to personal care etc

And when your arguing about something you do look at what you know and what your family needs are .

Being completley honest I used to look at wheelchair access and think thats a bit shit but when ds used a wheelchair he was small his chair was lite and I wa sphysically able to heft him and his chair

.But now I need a wheelchair it really opened my eyes to independent wheelchair access

Obviously they don't change all at once, but 8 is a reasonable limit for a parent to have a son or daughter in a an opposite sex changing room.

Zombie thread. Did you really read through all that, just to post a one-liner, Esther?