Fed up with boys in women's changing rooms at pool

[Clary]

Not really AIBU, more may I rant please?

Actually wrote longer post then seem to have lost it, but wanted to moan about number of big lads I have spotted lately in women's changing rooms at pool. Rule is 8yo and over go in correct sex room.

I tend to say nothing having been verbally attacked before, and also told I W A bit U; but today I did query it with a woman and was told such nonsense as "they won't let them go in the men's as they are too young" (they were 9 and 10) and "nobody uses the men's anyway" (??!!).

Told the staff and they said they would tell the women when she came out; but really, why do people think their 10yo boy must change in the women's? What 10yo boywants to anyway? I am not mad about him standing there as I get changed and if I were a 14yo girl I would probably be very unhappy.

The woman today said "well, all the mums will be washing their kids after the swim" eh?? My 8yo can be a bit hopeless but even he can manage a reasonable shower and dress deal. What is the matter with people?

And breathe. Vent over, thanks for listening

Yuma - So if they are 10 or 11 you think it is fine for non SN boys to be in the ladies chnaging rooms?

And you may not care, but plenty of boys forced to go into the ladies changing rooms will care; as will plenty of girls and women.

tbh when I was a child, any boy seen to be doing this would have been bullied by his class mates.

The people who are saying the OP is unreasonable what would you think if a 10 year old girl was in the male changing room with her father?

Op; Yanbu - I had my ds in with me until he was about 7 - he would have died of embarrassment at 9 or 10 anyway.

mrz that topic has been well covered and we aggree its innappropriate.
Its not abot boys seeing parts of your body that would turn them on,its about not wanting to be sniggered at and watched by them. As i said i have had a mastectomy am i unreasonable not to want young boys in my changing room? Tjhis applys to any other body hang ups people may have including young girls who are starting to develop.

my point ledkr is that it isn't appropriate for either sex to be getting changed in the other changing room and perhaps councils need to provide areas for families rather than have a policy that mothers/fathers take their son/daughter into a female/male communal changing area.
My local pool has cubicles to ensure privacy for all.

mrz - If your child doesn't have SN, then there is no need for either sex to be getting changed in the other sex changing room after about 8 years old.

I think you are being rather precious OP.

I can't think of any boys over 8 who would want to change in the Ladies. I therefore assume they are there for a particular reason- hidden disability etc

It's not that hard to get changed under a towel. Most people manage on the beach!

Individual cubicles would solve this problem, if it bothers you that much maybe find a pool with these.

No conflict of interest here: I have girls!

I agree!

As a ten/eleven year old girl with breasts developing I'd have been mortified to see a ten year old boy in the women's changing room- in fact I was uncomfortable with the idea of a communal changing area even with other girls/women until my late teens, but often had to put up with one.

Is this a thing that only happens in England, I have never ever in my life been to a swimming pool with open changing rooms. All the changing rooms at the pools I go to are communal with rows and rows of cubicles with locks on

Other posters have posted here saying they will not let their 9 or 10 year olds go to the men's changing room alone - they also said their DS's were not SN. So yes some mum's do think it is reasonable to take over 8 year old DS without SN into women's changing rooms.

"It's not that hard to get changed under a towel. Most people manage on the beach!"

Why should girls and women struggle to do this so an overprotective mother can bring her 9 or 10 year old into a ladies changing room? And actually lots of older people or disabled women would struggle to do this. Swimming is one of the few exercise activities you can do if you have illness such as arthritis, rheumatism, problems with your back, etc.

Where I live - in a City - all the swimming pools are old and only have communal changing rooms. Teenage girls to embarassed to use the ladies communal changing room get changed in the toilets. But here it is either use a communal changing room or get changed in the toilets.

tootiredtomakeupagoodname I have to say I have never experienced open changing rooms in the UK either

But WTF should we get dressed under a towel in the WOMEN's changing room?

Grr, reminds me of a gym I used to go to where they thought it was appropriate to have male cleaners coming in there and to give you a 1 minute warning by yelling "Male cleaner coming through" was enough.

What part of the country do you live in mrz. I have only experienced communal changing rooms in council swimming pools. It is different generally in private gyms with swimming pools.

I'm in the North East

So not somewhere posh then? I am surprised that all your swimming pools are up to date with cubicles. Ours are all very old pools.

All my local council run leisure centres have separate cubicles which are a mixture of individual and family sizes

All of ours have communal changing rooms for each gender. There are no cubicles at all. Anyone wanting to change in private has to do so in the toilet. And its the same for people changing to play sport - all same gender communal changing rooms.

changing village at local council pool

www.flickr.com/photos/culturalservices/sets/72157624988197379/with/4837195179/

Changing rooms are designated by sex for a reason. If you don't want your DS changing alone, then you need to go into the men's dressing room with him rather than bringing him into the women's dressing room with you.
Alternatively, you can have him change out of his wet clothes under a towel in the public area and then have him shower when you get home.

Just because you aren't uncomfortable with the idea of your DS being around all those naked women does not mean you should force that situation on anyone.

I'm in Herts and our pool has female, male and family changing rooms. The female and male changing rooms have some cublicles and an open changing room area. The family changing rooms are large cubicles with their own shower which are suitable for disabled as well. There is no reason at all for a boy over 8 to be in the female changing rooms, but you still get them.

The family changing rooms are really meant for mixed sex family changing but sometimes they are used by a mother and baby who could use the female changing room as all the baby equipment is in there as well.

It will be refurbished next year and will have a "family changing village," so not sure what that will look like.

mrz - Your leisure centre looks wonderful. But the only time I have used changing rooms like that is when I went to centreparcs.

The centre was opened in 1982 to replace the old Victorian pool which also had individual changing cubicles but they were poolside

The pool I use used to have cubicles poolside with half doors. There were lots of complaints about them and the council then put in communal changing rooms. To be fair, there is no space to put individual cubicles unless you took away part of the sports hall.

Did the same with other old victorian pools. But even pools built 40-50 years ago still have communal changing rooms.