WTF!! Just been called a rasist by my own dh!!???

[Noibloodywellamnot]

will keep it short and have namechanged as I know how these threads usually go!

Sitting watching a film and I say to dh "oh what have I seen that Chinese guy in before" Chinese being relevant as there are 5 diffrent people in the shot.

He turns and gives me a smug look and tells me I am sooooo rasist, I say what!! And he launches into a attack on how i am so obviously rasist?

I ask how the hell can that be seen as rasist, if I was asking what the White guy or black guy had been in before I would have used the description White guy/black guy so he knew who the fuck i was talking about.

As if this was not childish enough he then tells me I am definitely a rasist because I ALWAYS ask if he wants to order a chinky then I shout "chinky is here" when it arrives, I can honestly say hand on heart I have NEVER used this word when ordering Chinese food.

I am FURIOUS, just asked him why the hell is he married to me when he has that opinion of me because I sure as hell would not be sticking around if I thought that of him.

What's bothering me more is he is insisting i have said words I know I would never use, what's worse the fact he seriously thinks I am a rasist but stays with me or has just made up a load of rubbish to make me look like something I know I'm not?

Have just seen him in a whole new light anyway!

Can I just apologise for using that god awful word in the op but it was relevant to the story!

OP - I am embarrassed for you.

Seriously??

He's either winding you up or he needs to grow up.

He sounds like a little child who says "Ummmm I'm telling on you"

Good heavens.

Sounds to me like he's projecting. Ignore him.

Why are you embarrassed for me?

What on earth could I have said to ask my question?

Oh dh can you tell me what the 5'10 ish man with brown hair and leather jacket was in before please?

I don't know what to say tbh

Google gaslighting

usual let me do the honors.

LEAVE THE BASTARD

Either you are both twelve years old or you've been drinking.

If he's actually trying to make you believe that you're saying things that you haven't said, then that would be gaslighting.

Ummm.

I have heard of gaslighting before on here but this is the first time sometime anything like this has happened.

I'm more surprised he has not left me since I am "something that he despises"

I am neither twelve nor have I been drinking!

I am honestly upset at this, have not just been told I swear to much or don't shower enough I have just sat in my own living room and been called rasist by the person who is supposed to know me best.

DP (who is black and grew up in london in the 70's so knows a fair bit about these things) says your DH is being a twat.

why are you furious if you know you are not racist

i am amused the way people will defend themselves, beign called racist or not having a sense of humor seems to really upset people (unless they are bnp twats and are proud of it)

Gaslighting is what happens when there is so much hot air coming from a poster that one could light a match and watch them spontaneously combust

I cannot help you with this one because I'm too busy laughing at your spelling of 'racist'

Is a rasist someone who blows raspberries from people of other cultures?

YABL (the L was for Loopy).

Why am I furious?

Because my dh and the father of my 3dc has just called me something which I find highly offensive. It does not matter if I know it's not true he thinks these things of me. Would that not be a issue to you that someone you are that close to has that opinion of you?

I was being kind when I said you'd been drinking! Why else would you have your knickers in a knot about being called a racist if you are quite confident that you are not? Your DH is probably having a lovely time watching the film in peace now while you spontaneously combust over your PC.

racist?

racist

have you name changed for this post?

whats your DH normally like?