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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

2nd thread of the day sorry but AIBU

55 replies

passingtime · 15/08/2011 12:51

Tp not want to give away one of a litter of kittens to a heavy smoker who smokes indoors?

I think it would be irresponsible of me to do so, knowing the poor kitten will be smoked all over by new owner.....

AIBU and ott?

OP posts:

usualsuspect · 15/08/2011 12:52

yabu

worraliberty · 15/08/2011 12:55

Dear god how did we ever survive thus far and with pets too.....

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots · 15/08/2011 13:01

Yabu.

NevermindtheNargles · 15/08/2011 13:02

Yabu.

Birdsgottafly · 15/08/2011 13:03

Do you have other people who will make better owners wanting the kitten. If so pick the best, forever home out of them.

If the cat will be an outdoors cat then it won't matter.

On a seperate note, it has been shown that smoking around cats affect their long term health. But then if the cat goes outdoors, it is at 'risk' of dying ealier, through accidents.

DogsBestFriend · 15/08/2011 13:03

YABU to have a litter of kittens in the first place, unless the queen is a rescue case you took on when she was already pregnant. If that's the case, apologies for what I'm about to say.

YAalsoBU to rehome privately without having the back-up of a rescue to guarantee that they will have sanctuary if ever the new owners can't keep them, even if that's in 15 years time, and to send them out vaccinated and neutered/a written agreement that they will be neutered and that they will be taken back by the rescue if that doesn't happen or if any there are any other welfare concerns.

A smoking household is way down the list.

BeerTricksPotter · 15/08/2011 13:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Birdsgottafly · 15/08/2011 13:08

I agree with DBF over allowng the cat to breed, btw. You can get kittens neutered before they are old enough to be allowed out.

BaronessBomburst · 15/08/2011 14:22

Well, I'm obviously the only one who agrees with you. I wouldn't want to give a kitten to a heavy smoker either.

But I also agree with DogsBestFriend. Why wasn't your cat sterilised in the first place? It is a bit irresponsible.

LordOfTheFlies · 15/08/2011 14:35

My rescue cat (lived to 17 yo) was neutered the day I collected her.
I had already said to the rescue if she was pg to have her neutered anyway.(The lady already had 80 cats on her rehome list)

Apparently their vet was surprised to find the cat pg as she was so skinny.At the time she was 2 yo from a house with 4 dogs .This would have been litter 5! The owners decided they just didn't want the cat any more.

The outcome of this was moggie had cilliary excema which the vet put down to her pg neutering.She was on various meds throughout her life.

So we stopped a litter of unwanted kittens.We specifically wanted a cat not kittens. But she got side effects.
Though she was with us for 15 lovely years.

nosexpleaseimpregnant · 15/08/2011 14:37

Don't you all think you're being a bit harsh? Maybe she didn't want the cat to be neutered? Is it a legal requirement to rehome with the guarantee of sanctuary, even in 15 years time? Am I the only one who has never bought a kitten without this in place? Does this make me unreasonable?
On the other hand, is it really any of your business whether the new owner smokes or not? They may not smoke but may abuse/neglect it in other ways, unless you know them personally then you will never know. Besides, cats spend a majority of their time outside hunting so the smoking wouldn't be a problem.

Original poster

passingtime · 15/08/2011 14:39

She was 'given' to me pregnant by a girl I used to work with that 'couldn't cope' any more (I am a sucker for cats, especially ones in need)

Rest assured we will be having her neutered asap - she is only 8 months old! It seemed very cruel her being pregnant and she was tiny with a huge belly (for the record, I am extremely proud of her she has taken it all in her stride and all of the litter survived and are healthy)

A local vet and friend has asked could he take them off our hands also (to give jabs and sell). My friend (the heavy smoker) wants the kitten desperately for her daughter, but I just don't want to give one to a heavy smoker if i don't have to - her current cat is a house cat so imagine this new one would be too...

I do have an issue with the vet who wants to take them off us though - he wants them aged 4 weeks! If we decide to let him have them I will insist on him waiting until they are 8 weeks old

OP posts:

nosexpleaseimpregnant · 15/08/2011 14:39

Sorry my mistake, I have never bought a kitten with this in place

ChumleeIsMyHomeboy · 15/08/2011 14:44

Well I think you'd best check the prospective homes for chemical air fresheners, tripping hazards, non-organic cat food, inappropriate reading matter and I'd want to know what they watch on telly too. And would they swear within hearing distance of the cat? You can't be too careful you know.

Oh. YABU. Very.

DogsBestFriend · 15/08/2011 14:53

"Don't you all think you're being a bit harsh? No. I'm speaking from a POV of experience and awareness.

Maybe she didn't want the cat to be neutered? Where's the question?

Is it a legal requirement to rehome with the guarantee of sanctuary, even in 15 years time? No, it's a MORAL one and one which any reputable rescue or rescuer - including myself - will insist upon. A rescue which doesn't should be avoided.

Am I the only one who has never bought a kitten without this in place? Sadly, far from it.

Does this make me unreasonable? YES..

On the other hand, is it really any of your business whether the new owner smokes or not? They may not smoke but may abuse/neglect it in other ways, unless you know them personally then you will never know" It's every bit of the OPs business how the cat will fare given that she's taking responsibility for placing the kittens in new homes. Whatever gives you reason to think this should not be the case? She is unable to say 'Stop smoking' but she is perfectly within her rights to say she isn't rehoming to this individual. And this is another reason why rehoming should be carried out by rescue - so that a homecheck can take place, vets references taken up, it can be confirmed that the applicant is allowed pets in their house and that follow ups can be carried out and the pet recovered back into the care of rescue if abuse/neglect occurs, by dint of having a contract between rescue and adopter.

LolaRennt · 15/08/2011 14:55

Really OP is being very Unreasonable? For doing what is best for animals she took in out of the kindness of her heart?

Op yanbu. Really people here are deranged they won't let their children so much as touch the hand of a person who has touched the hand of a smoker. But a kitten, smoke in its face they'll love it.,

TrillianAstra · 15/08/2011 14:57

You know a vet who wants to take kittens away from their mother at 4 weeks?

That's far more shocking than a smoker wanting a kitten.

LolaRennt · 15/08/2011 14:57

I'd probably ay why too OP she shouldn't be smoking indoors with her dd, that to me says she isn't responsible enough to have a cat

worraliberty · 15/08/2011 14:57

There's no logic to this really unless the OP is going to have a say in who the vet sells them to and whether they smoke or not.

nosexpleaseimpregnant · 15/08/2011 14:58

Touched a nerve? I really didn't realise that selling a kitten was as difficult as this. Good job I prefer dogs.

DogsBestFriend · 15/08/2011 15:00

Good on yer for taking her on in that case. :) I did say apologies if I was wrong and you had taken her on as a pregnant cat from some twunt numpty.

WRT rehoming, I'm very , very uneasy about this. I'd avoid the vet like the plague tbh - he wants the kittens at FOUR WEEKS? WTF!

Call me a cynic but the cost of neutering to him as a vet is negligible - and then there's profit in selling kittens...

Is HE going to homecheck the owners? Why the fuck isn't he advising you to turn to rescue for help and further advice? I'm sorry, you said he's your friend but it just doesn't sound right to me.

As for the heavy smoking friend - I'd weigh that up against the age of her child - no way would I rehome a kitten in a house with a small child - and how much SHE is aware that the kitten will be her responsibility, not the child's, whether the original cat is well cared for, insured and so on.

kittensliveupstairs · 15/08/2011 15:02

I am curious about why the vet wants them at four weeks. Are they particularly tasty then? That is the only reason I can think of they are to be an exotic side dish at his spectacular dinner party.
I have been labouring under the misaprehension that kittens shouldn't be rehomed until they are 8 weeks old at least.

DogsBestFriend · 15/08/2011 15:03

nosexplease I rescue dogs too.

The same applies.

Whose nerve do you think you've touched?

ragged · 15/08/2011 15:03

I think I wouldn't let the kitten go to the home of a heavy smoker either, all other factors being equal, OP. yanbu.

evenlessnarkypuffin · 15/08/2011 15:04

I think talking to a rescue place about rehoming them sounds like a great idea. You can do all the careful checks you want - and I agree with you about not homing to an indoor smoker - but that won't protect the kittens from what has happened to their mother. At least if you go through a rescue place you know that they will push for neutering and be there to deal with the kittens kittens if something goes wrong. It would also mean you could tell the lady to contact the shelter if she wants a kitten, and take the issue out of your hands.

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