I don't agree with the MN feminists. AIBU?

[jennyvstheworld]

I consider myself an active proponent of equality of opportunity and a stern critic of discrimination... and yet I find that I can't identify with many of the viewpoints I encounter on the MN feminism page (and often say so). AIBU?

What is orientated around penetrative sex Swallow?

Some feminists consider penetrative sex to be an unwelcome invasion.

Listening to some feminists hammer on about it is obvious and droll.

Sorry I was saying that IME penetrative sex did not lead to orgasm. I am 42 and still find that to me mostly the case (sorry if TMI for all the MNetters that I know in real life ) I was NOT saying that it was objectionable and unpleasant. But that boys at that age were more interested in their own pleasure than mine.

Ah, got you. I just recall early dalliances as being generally crap for all concerned. Everyone was too self conscious and awkward and pretending they were grown ups. Telling the tale was more satisfying than the deed.

SGM made the point that penetratrive sex was not the be all and end all of teenage sex experience, and THAT is what I have been discussing.

Thanks Organic i was aware of that belief, perhaps ive lost the plot, but i thought we were discussing how and what teenagers are taught about sex in schools and perhaps at home are only taught about how to not make babies and avoiding STD's.

When perhaps, kissing, cuddling and other forms of sex/pleasure should ALSO be an option given? I didnt get the impression we were discussing penetrative sex not being normal

No she didn't Portfino.

The context was regarding teenagers.

Straight couples have penetrative sex if that bothers her and you then that's your opinion.

But it is the way people procreate.

CLaw

I do concur that safe sex is certainly the way to go with teaching teens.

But like every other generation we'll bang on and drone about our experience.

Like generations before us.

I agree that schools tend to focus on pregnancy/STDs and the mechanics of sex. They didn't go in to detail with the touchy feely stuff. But isn't that our job as parents? It was my mother that told me there was no need to have sex until I was ready, and that kissing and cuddling were lovely. Granted, she didn't talk about oral or mutual masturbation. But in fairness I probably would have combusted on the spot if she had.

Yes she did. And the context was regarding teenagers - and that is what I was talking about.

Do you know how few women regularly achieve orgasm through penetrative sex alone, when they have sexual experience and know their own bodies? Do you think the % of girls would be higher? Why is male masturbation seen as an accepted norm and female masturbation hardly ever mentioned? And when it is, why is the main focus on sex toys that are penetrative?

The clitoris isn't hidden. How many girls know that they have tissue that becomes engorged when stimulated like the male penis?

Sex should be about both parties getting pleasure, not about getting to the money shot.

Don't most women discover masturbation though? I mean, no one ever told me about it. But I, er, sussed it out myself.

So as mothers we should be discussing these options with our children, particularly our daughters. But considering how uptight most parents are about discussing even the basics of sex and contraception sensibly with their children, it may be back to the book list.

*Straight couples have penetrative sex if that bothers her and you then that's your opinion.

But it is the way people procreate*

[Hmm] And most teenagers are in it for the procreation

Portfino.

If you think that someone suggesting that she was vexed that there is an obsession with penetrative sex is qualified to explain it to teenagers feel free to extrapolate.

Obsession with penetrative sex from a teen perspective is natural and normal.

Getting an adult to explain how teenagers can "Please" each other is ridiculous and might I say domineering and intrusive.

I don't agree with you and I believe you're being disingenuous.

Yes I think most of us get around to it, but how many girls have the confidence to embrace that with their boyfriends.

Oh chickens, I agree with spontaneous combustion thing! I was brought up by my grandparents, My aunt was deployed to give info on the scary "period" stuff that we had to know about. I would literally have died on the spot if anyone mentioned masturbation.

I have a a 7 yo dd and am trying to go about things rather differently.

Chicken, most probably, but for some teens talking about sex with parents is taboo, maybe the parent doesnt want to discuss it or the teen come to that. Im guessing schools are restricted on what they teach. Which brings me back to original point that most teens learn through experience, i certainly did.

There's an obsession with the male orgasm as sex. That ejaculation is the goal.

Why has this thread morphed into Women/Girls needs?

Or the feminist version of those needs in particular?

Obsession with penetrative sex from a teen perspective is natural and normal

From a male teen perspective it's natural and normal.

No there isn't Puffin.

But there you go blaming the Male again.

Blaming a man for doing what comes natural and not following your social construct.

Blow jobs. Safe sex and good fun.

Are you honestly suggesting that Women don't like penetrative sex?

I hope you are not.

Because if you are? the human race is going to argue with you.

ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin Tue 16-Aug-11 22:10:09
Blow jobs. Safe sex and good fun.

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That's something I can 100% agree with.