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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think i dont deserve to be treated like a prostitute

138 replies

firstly · 15/08/2011 09:43

Im fuming.
I have a sort of no strings thing with this man. But basically this weekend ive been treated like nothing more than a whore.
friday night at gone midnight i got a text of his cock. I hadnt spoken to him for over a week, no contact ( which is fine.. but not even a hello?) he was then annoyed at me that i refused to get out of bed ( i was asleep) and go see him.

Saturday night the same thing happened, but i was out with friends, so he just got annoyed that i didn respond at all.

Last night the same thing happened again, but it was a bit earlier, 9pm. I said i was free tomorrow and if he wanted to do something then, i would but i wasnt going to go round. He got really pissed off and said i didnt do it (!!!!) properly anyway and if was either NOW or not at all.

I am not a prostitute and do not deserve to be treated like one. Yes, i have slept with him in the past, and am not in a relationship with him, and i dont want a relationship with him, but how on earth does he think he can just text me things like that??

Or AIBU?

OP posts:
janelikesjam · 15/08/2011 14:51

Hardgoing, yes you are lucky. My "research" is that the dating scene is a bit horrid ...

Pandemoniaa · 15/08/2011 14:57

Send a picture of a buttered bun and I lose the moral compass point immediately.

noblegiraffe · 15/08/2011 15:43

I think if three different men sent me cock pics I'd send them each back a pic of one of the others.

corlan · 15/08/2011 15:46

Excellent idea noblegiraffe Grin

Do you think they'd be able to tell the difference though?

maypole1 · 15/08/2011 15:59

You sleep with a man with no strings allow him to ring you up all times of day or night for a fuck

And then wonder why he has no respect for you

REALLY

minipie · 15/08/2011 16:04

er, no she doesn't maypole - the whole OP is about the fact that she isn't available all times of day or night.

OP, YANBU. No strings sex is fine but only if both partners want it at the same time. You are not on call.

And as for the cock picture Hmm I thought that was something only twats footballers did.

DrGruntFotter · 15/08/2011 16:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

supadupapupascupa · 15/08/2011 16:10

well I had a 'fuck buddy' for 4 years and was treated with a high degree of respect. So much so we have now been married for 3 years.
There was no relationship, no expectations, just a fun night out once in a while.

So to those who think if you sleep with a man with no strings you should expect to be treated badly, you are SO wrong.

OP, you need to set the record straight with regards to the ground rules and let him know that he is not in control of your behaviour and that you will do to please yourself. YANBU to be pissed off that he has started to make you feel this way, regardless of what has happened before.

TobyLerone · 15/08/2011 16:11

Bollocks, maypole. She deserves respect from him whether she's married to him or whether it was a one-night stand. Fuck it, she would still deserve to be treated with respect if he were paying her for sex.

Original poster
firstly · 15/08/2011 16:41

quite right, i must admit to being a little shocked at those who think that seeing as i sleep with someone im not in a relationship with, then i deserve to be treated badly.

What utter rubbish.

Sex isnt something i do for someone. Something im giving. Sex is something i like and want, for myself, without wanting a relationship.

I dont want to be with anyone, i do not want some man in my life, i do not want to have to consider anyone elses feeling bar mine and my childs. I do not want a stream of men to be brought into my childs life.

Until the point that i meet somone who i like, and who it is going to work long term with, then casual is the way for me. Because i dont want to live my life like a nun.

I do not let him ring me all hours. And that is the problem.

OP posts:
Sassybeast · 15/08/2011 16:44

Ohhhh - how dare you be a woman who enjoys 'SEX' OP.

YANBU. No strings relationships don't mean being treated like crap. I would forward his cock picture to the other cock picture senders and then delete him.

It is possible to have no strings SEX (can't resist typing it out loud for the pursed lip, hoing bosom smuggy bums) but still have mutual respect.

knittedbreast · 15/08/2011 17:51

a person having no strings sex does not equal a morally bankrupt society.

flowery · 15/08/2011 18:28

I have a mental image of those who think YABU answering the phone as follows:

"The BookAY residence, lady of the house speaking"

Grin
maypole1 · 15/08/2011 18:52

DrGruntFotter I would say the same if a man was on here moaning if your having sex with someone as a fuck buddy the likely hood is they don't have much respect for you

FreudianSlipper · 15/08/2011 18:59

thats a rather narrow minded point of view

there are plenty of married couples who have regular sex but do not respect each other, love does not equal respect

if you are both aware what it is about why do you think there can not be respect, their might not be love or deep feelings but we manage to respect people we meet in everyday life so if two adults decided that find each other attractive would enjoy having a just sexual relationship where is the lack of respect

exoticfruits · 15/08/2011 19:12

If there are no strings just block him-no need to have further contact.

maypole1 · 15/08/2011 19:13

Men don't tend to have much respect for women who their just fucking you can kid yourself all you want they do but they don't

Thats why she is the fuck buddy and someone other women will end up being the wife

And no have never had a one night stand because I don't want to be treated like the op

LuceyLasstic · 15/08/2011 19:15

Sex isnt something i do for someone. Something im giving. Sex is something i like and want, for myself, without wanting a relationship.

lovely, great, fab

enjoy it then, but dont whinny on when he isnt treating you with respect or buying you flowers and chocolates. You are just a receptacle for his sperm in his eyes. He is just a cock with a body on the end

nothing to do with emotions, or brain function

LuceyLasstic · 15/08/2011 19:16

why dont you start charging OP, at least then you can demand that he makes an appt first Grin

exoticfruits · 15/08/2011 19:20

I think that you need to get things clear from the start-it is quite obvious that you were seeing it quite differently.

tethersend · 15/08/2011 19:21

YANBU at all.

The least he could have done is written 'How are you?' along the shaft in felt pen.

minipie · 15/08/2011 19:28

"Thats why she is the fuck buddy and someone other women will end up being the wife"

The OP doesn't want to be the wife. She is happy being the fuck buddy. She just wants some basic manners.

ButWhyIsTheGinGone · 15/08/2011 19:37

I'm quite shocked at posters thinking it's ok for him to treat her in this way. "You're just a receptacle for his sperm" - LuceyLastic, are you for real? Not all no strings relationships work on this distasteful princliple, thanks!

I'm single and intend to keep it that was for a long while yet. Does that mean I shouldn't have any form or sex or sexual intimacy?

FabbyChic · 15/08/2011 19:38

You are his fuck buddy what do u expect?

SardineQueen · 15/08/2011 19:40

"Thats why she is the fuck buddy and someone other women will end up being the wife"

That line is just brilliant. Like something my dad would say! (Without the F word, obv).

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