To feel a little bitter towards people who get everything handed to them on a plate?

[EternalPie]

My cousin is a great example. He got married at 18 and whilst most people would have to find a 1/2 bedroom flat too rent until they had built up savings - his mum decided to GIVE him her 3 bedroomed house and moved out into a flat.

My other cousin was the same, he got involved with someone, struggled slightly to pay the bills at first (like we all do) so his mum moved out of her 4 BEDROOMED HOUSE in one of the best areas of the city and rented it to him for £300 a month.

A bloke I'm seeing at the moment - Every car he's ever had has been bought for him by mother. Now he currently has a Rover and has been telling me for weeks that he's working extra hours and saving like mad to buy a Picanto - he then let it slip last night that actually his dad puts away so much money into a car fund for him every month so that this time next year, he'll be able to buy a brand new car.

I know you'll say there is much satisfaction in knowing that you've earnt everything yourself but I do feel rather bitter when people go on about how wel my cousins are doing to have their own houses at such a young age - well yeah it's easy when you get given the buggers!!

And when this bloke I'm seeing will come down going on about how great his new car is and how I should really think about upgrading - well its all well and good when your dad BUYS you a brand new car whenever you want one.

I'm probably been unreasonable and I do intend to earn all this stuff myself eventually. But I do feel bitter when I see other people just getting given all the stuff it will take me years to earn.

(also, AIBU to find this slightly offputting about the bloke I've been seeing? don't know why but I do)

Not only do I think YANBU, I think those who shrug their shoulders and tell you 'life isn't fair so suck it up' are probably those who are doing quite well thank you out of this increasingly unequal and polarised society and should be duly ignored.

That said, there are always people worse off than yourself.

I dont mind anyone being given stuff by their parents, if I had it I'd be giving it to my kids as well

but its the lying and lack of appreciation I cant stand

I have a relative who tells me every time we meet how poor they are...she has houses, cars, holidays handed to her on a plate, my parents are dead and never had money when they were here and as we are closely related she knows this....so why tell me how poor she is when we know each others situations?

I know what you mean op. Ive had to work and save for everything. My husband's family were totally different. Anything he or his siblings wanted they just went to Daddy and put their hand out.
My husband as a consequence was terrible with money when I met him (the irony is that he is an accountant!). Yes you could say it's none of my business but it annoyed me when we agreed to go on x holiday in y months at z cost and I'd save up my half and he'd just ask his dad!
I did resolve this by refusing to buy a property with him unless we did it ourselves with no hand outs. (PILS gifts always came with strings). He gradually got better with money over the years which is just as well as PIL both dead now. His siblings have ended up with shit lives as a result. They have properties and pensions paid for, sure, but have never had careers or proper relationships as a result of being infantalised. They are constantly hard up as a result of blowing any (quite substantial) sums of money gifted to them.
So don't be too envious - it often backfires in the end.

Nobody has ever handed us anything, or helps out - but some of my friends have really kind and generous parents. I don't begrudge them any of it, just the way it goes. Being bitter is never cute. When/if you marry this guy, you won't be jealous when his v generous parents buy you a new washer/dryer when it breaks, or help out buying the kids new uniforms etc etc.

I used to feel like this. Always struggling, never had money and resented those who did. Pure jealousy sometimes and if fantasise about a big lottery win

I've come to realise though that lack of money and 'stuff' has actually been what's made mine and dh relationship as strong as it is. I believe now that no eynqoukd actually ruin us and I have gave up doing the lottery ! You have to just be happy with what you've got OP and turn a blind eye to what makes you jealous as it'll make you stressed bitter and Ill

Not sure what my phones typed butbwas meant to say a lot of money would ruin us !

I haven't read all the comments but I agree with OP.

I have zero respect for people who brag about having expensive things, nice cars etc when they have been handed to them by parents.

I have at least two friends like this and they aren't even grateful for it! One friend in particular... his dad has bought him at least 3 houses (for each of his ex girlfriends / baby mamas)

ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE

Good grief where do these zombies come from!