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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that "place marking" is just fucking rude

158 replies

Catslikehats · 14/08/2011 06:52

I've just read a distressing thread (as opposed to an amusing thread where I don't really mind so much) on which the OP needed help support and the number of posters who have just typed ".", presumably to place mark has really pissed me off.

It's not fucking entertainment folks and if you want to treat it as such at least have the decency not to be so blatant about it and try one of these approaches:

i) Add something useful

or

ii) type something appropriate: you've clicked on the message box and are going to click and wait on the post button so why so hard to type "good luck" of "OMG that is awful"

or

ii) Add to your watched threads

AIBU to think it is really not that hard not to behave like a rude rubbernecker

OP posts:
Original poster
Catslikehats · 14/08/2011 11:56

Totally accept some of MN is voyeuristic but I suppose I have always seen it as a transaction: you get to nosey in on other peoples drama in return for providing useful info/support/a laugh.

An "." adds nothing. Nowt. You've shortchanged to OP (and I will stand by been rude) Bit like nicking heat magazine really Grin

OP posts:
StrandedBear · 14/08/2011 12:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

worraliberty · 14/08/2011 12:42

Ashamed why? I really don't get it.

Someone tells the general public about their problem. The general public are interested in reading about said problem.

They mark their place so they can continue to read about the problem and find out the conclusion...and they should be ashamed of themselves? Confused

southeastastra · 14/08/2011 12:49

but what if they're place marking to suggest something later

i also agree with soupy

superjobee · 14/08/2011 12:50

on that thread i actually felt offended on the OPs behalf, her life is up in arms and when things are settled and she goes back to read all the fantastic advice and best wishes evry now and again a shameless ' . ' will be there letting her know that there are ppl who dont really give a flying shit and just want to know whats happening in her completely scrambled atm life? i know its part of MN but its a bloody horrible part imo.

worraliberty · 14/08/2011 12:52

How does a dot meant they don't give a shit?

If they're marking their place, they're obviously interested.

Birdsgottafly · 14/08/2011 12:54

When i first joined posters would write 'bump or bumping for you', it isn't difficult, rather than just puting a mark. At least then the OP will look at it that the poster has done it in a helpful way and not for entertainment.

HopeForTheBest · 14/08/2011 12:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on request of its author.

rainbowinthesky · 14/08/2011 12:58

debates whether to start a thread about finding it rude that people swear in thread titles. Also agree with soupdragon.

FootsFirst · 14/08/2011 13:04

agree soupdragon crass thread title

superjobee · 14/08/2011 13:07

exactly, they are interested in a woman slife crumbling before her eyes, not offering any advice or support, just interested. its car crash tv here sometimes and it astounds me.

OracleInaCoracle · 14/08/2011 13:09

I'd be ashamed if I were making unfounded judgements based entirely on my own perceptions.

The rare times I respond with a "." it is because I don't have time to read the whole thread but will be back later. Is it better to just type a response based just on the op so that some poor soul isn't offended by the use of a single dot on a fast moving, sensitive thread just to put it on TIO?

OracleInaCoracle · 14/08/2011 13:09

I'd be ashamed if I were making unfounded judgements based entirely on my own perceptions.

The rare times I respond with a "." it is because I don't have time to read the whole thread but will be back later. Is it better to just type a response based just on the op so that some poor soul isn't offended by the use of a single dot on a fast moving, sensitive thread just to put it on TIO?

superjobee · 14/08/2011 13:10

whats wrong with watching it instead of the ' . '? it takes the same amount of time and in sensitive threads shows tact.

LadyBeagleEyes · 14/08/2011 13:13

It's just a dot.
So funny to see 115 messages and an argument about a dot.
Dontcha just love mumsnet sometimes?

LuceyLasstic · 14/08/2011 13:15

i dont get it, why does typing a . mark your place?

why not just click the bookmark icon to save the last post you read?

mind you saying that, this is the only forum i read that doesnt automatically remember where you have got up to :( I wish they would update it with more features, its pretty basic :(

worraliberty · 14/08/2011 13:19

exactly, they are interested in a woman slife crumbling before her eyes, not offering any advice or support, just interested. its car crash tv here sometimes and it astounds me

What astounds me is some of the holier than thou attitudes though.

So if someone posts a Sad face or says "Oh you poor thing"....that makes them somehow 'different' to lurkers?

Do you honestly think none of the people who actually posted are viewing it as car crash TV just because they posted a bit more than a dot?

Original poster
Catslikehats · 14/08/2011 13:24

worra I think the majority are viewing it is car crash TBH I just think it is rude not to comply with the conventional trade of opinions/ideas/hugz in order to get your dose of car crash.

OP posts:
RoundOrangeHead · 14/08/2011 13:26

how can it be rubbernecking when it's on a public forum on the internet?

don't post your personal problems on the www if you don't want all and sundry reading it

superjobee · 14/08/2011 13:27

lurk by all means but do it with a bit of decorrum. i feel for the woman having to read thru and see the shameless . every few posts i know in her shoes i wouldnt appreciate it!

worraliberty · 14/08/2011 13:47

worra I think the majority are viewing it is car crash TBH I just think it is rude not to comply with the conventional trade of opinions/ideas/hugz in order to get your dose of car crash

I get what your saying, though perhaps some are just more honest than others and can't be bothered being false?

Either way, I think it's worse for the OP to come back to pages and pages of speculation and people 'picking over the bones' of her problem...swirling like seagulls, waiting for her update. That to me is what makes it look like car crash TV rather than posting a simple dot.

I don't know why they don't just leave the thread alone until she gets back.

LuceyLasstic · 14/08/2011 13:50

the best advice they could have given would have been to calm down. instead the mob mentality went into overdrive frenzy and increased her anxiety

yay way to go :/

LadyBeagleEyes · 14/08/2011 13:57

Agree with worra and Lucey.

.

Happygomummy · 14/08/2011 14:21

OP, good point, well made.

bananamam · 14/08/2011 15:57

Well said worra