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AIBU?

To think that "place marking" is just fucking rude

158 replies

Catslikehats · 14/08/2011 06:52

I've just read a distressing thread (as opposed to an amusing thread where I don't really mind so much) on which the OP needed help support and the number of posters who have just typed ".", presumably to place mark has really pissed me off.

It's not fucking entertainment folks and if you want to treat it as such at least have the decency not to be so blatant about it and try one of these approaches:

i) Add something useful

or

ii) type something appropriate: you've clicked on the message box and are going to click and wait on the post button so why so hard to type "good luck" of "OMG that is awful"

or

ii) Add to your watched threads

AIBU to think it is really not that hard not to behave like a rude rubbernecker

OP posts:

Report

QuintessentialShadow · 14/08/2011 09:53

Agree. It is distasteful voyeurism.

OracleInaCoracle · 14/08/2011 09:53

I never use watched threads, I'm a TIO poster, I sort of understand it. If you don't know what to say, but were worried about the op/situation and would like to see how it turns out sometimes a (.) is just a way of marking. I tend to put "don't know what to say, but hope it works out"

OracleInaCoracle · 14/08/2011 09:53

I never use watched threads, I'm a TIO poster, I sort of understand it. If you don't know what to say, but were worried about the op/situation and would like to see how it turns out sometimes a (.) is just a way of marking. I tend to put "don't know what to say, but hope it works out"

Mitmoo · 14/08/2011 09:54

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1279379-To-go-down-there-right-now-and-never-let-the-GPs-have-DD-again?pg=15

I think but am not sure, that it must be this one.

mousesma · 14/08/2011 09:56

YANBU There are some situations where the OP is in real distress and needs support not to be blatantly used for your entertainment.

I am guilty of doing this sometimes but only in threads which are giving specific information (i.e. Sleep, Weaning etc.) and even then I would say "no input but I'm in a similar situation so I'm watching for tips".

OracleInaCoracle · 14/08/2011 10:01

Why does everyone assume that its to rubberneck? Why can't it be because you don't know what to say but are genuinely concerned/interested in how things pan out. Is it not just as annoying to trawl through a zillion "don't know what to say" posts as a "."?

OracleInaCoracle · 14/08/2011 10:02

Why does everyone assume that its to rubberneck? Why can't it be because you don't know what to say but are genuinely concerned/interested in how things pan out. Is it not just as annoying to trawl through a zillion "don't know what to say" posts as a "."?

Catslikehats · 14/08/2011 10:03

It's the grandparent thread but to be honest I'm not sure it matters. Unless it is a comedy thread or POAS type thing where it is acknowledged that everyone is simply waiting for an outcome it is rude.

I'm not against a bit of voyeurism - that's what makes MN what it is but jeez people have some respect and make it subtle.

OP posts:

SaulGood · 14/08/2011 10:10

I'm a bit of a MN purist but it might be a good argument for them making bookmarks available to all.

I personally don't see it as rude (though I've never done it myself). More like lissie, I just assume people are coming back to it later when they have more time or something similar. But if others find it offensive- and I understand why tbh -then perhaps it's something we should work to avoid.

ItDoesntBodenWell · 14/08/2011 10:10

Yanbu, there's no need to bump that thread either, it's just waiting for an update from OP anyway, there is no advice needed.
Good wishes are one thing, but . is horrible and lazy.

MardyBra · 14/08/2011 10:11

Yanbu and lissielou to me it does look like rubbernecking because it looks like you can't even be arsed to post a supportive comment.

MardyBra · 14/08/2011 10:14

I started a similar thread to this when people were rubbernecking on a thread a while back where the woman came back unexpectedly late at night and found her husband shagging another woman. Not only were people blatantly rubbernecking they were also demanding updates as some sort of automatic right.

MardyBra · 14/08/2011 10:15

I don't see it as rude on a comedy thread though.

OracleInaCoracle · 14/08/2011 10:17

Mardybra, just because it looks like rubbernecking to you doesn't mean it is. Maybe I'm just naive but there we go.

OracleInaCoracle · 14/08/2011 10:17

Mardybra, just because it looks like rubbernecking to you doesn't mean it is. Maybe I'm just naive but there we go.

Besom · 14/08/2011 10:18

Yanbu. Not hard to type brief message - much nicer for the op.

usualsuspect · 14/08/2011 10:19

Its a public forum ,of course people are going to rubberneck

MardyBra · 14/08/2011 10:32

Lissielou. Obviously quite a lot of people interpret it as rubbernecking even if that's not your intention, otherwise there wouldn't be threads like these.

TheMonster · 14/08/2011 10:33

I agree, OP. It's rude.

OracleInaCoracle · 14/08/2011 10:40

Mardybra, there's really no need to be quite so rude as I said, I tend not to do it, but I understand why people do it if they have nothing to add, but are concerned/interested. Jeez just trying to give a different perspective. And fwiw, I've not noticed threads like this before.

OracleInaCoracle · 14/08/2011 10:40

Mardybra, there's really no need to be quite so rude as I said, I tend not to do it, but I understand why people do it if they have nothing to add, but are concerned/interested. Jeez just trying to give a different perspective. And fwiw, I've not noticed threads like this before.

SaulGood · 14/08/2011 10:43

lissie is right. Offence, largely, is something you take. You have to acknowledge that people might not have the intentions you decide for them (they might not be 'fucking rude', I might find such blatant swearing in a thread title rude though).

That said, we are a community and if enough people find it offensive then it's something we can agree not to do. Doesn't automatically mean that the people who have put a . on that thread had the intentions you might ascribe to them.

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PinotsKittens · 14/08/2011 10:45

What Saul said, rather brilliantly.

SardineQueen · 14/08/2011 10:46

I agree that typing a short message is much more appropriate.

I sometimes say "marking my place to come back later" on threads on the topic Im a regular on if Im going out, as I always forget to look in threads Im watching.

But if its a sensitive topic or people you dont "know" it is very rude just to put in a "." I agree.

ZZZenAgain · 14/08/2011 10:48

ok had a look at the OP and some of the pages. If I were that OP and so worried and frantic about my dd and the situation, I don't know if I would have understood what the . thing is about. It looks a bit like disapproval the way a biscuit does to me but my understanding is people are just showing they are feel involved but have nothing concrete to add. I don't find it all that outrageous tbh Thing is when you are in a state about something and your thread moves very fast with people saying a lot of similar things, it is really hard to follow it, read everything and take it different advice when it crops up.

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