... to think there's a sudden tendency in AIBU...

[woollyideas]

... for some people to accuse others of 'bullying' or 'attacking' when they have their views disagreed with?

I've noticed a few threads on here in the last couple of days where anyone putting across a contrary view to the OP gets accused of being mean/bullying/personally attacking. I don't like it. Aren't people allowed to disagree anymore?

More to the point, I've noticed that some of the people complaining about 'bullies' are ganging up with each other to 'tell someone off' which comes across as a bit... well... bullying.

Nah for some posters AIBU is a bit of a sport.....sniping little comments and huge assumptions without any info.

indeed i dont commit any names to memory.too many.have no idea how people seem to carry gripes and grudges.as in you said you had a budgie 2006, ...now no budgie.as if irrefutable proof of being liar

mme i didn't mean to imply that a someone would disagree or agree whether they are friends with an OP. And yes i know you don't know each other in real life. I'm talking more on the practice of having 'in jokes' and words used and in the middle of a thread 'oh remember that one .....' type conversation which seems irrelevant to the thread and excludes others.

I have had this in rl when you are talkingto someone new at a party and someone they know turns up and then you might as well be invisible.

I'm certainly not suggesting this is 'wrong' or intentional, just that when it does happen and you can't join in you can feel like you are back in the playground!

i also think there is a difference between being direct and being rude. If you disagree, state why and respect the other person, but some responses are totally disproportionate.

people shouldn't post in aibu if they only seek affirmation.i love the hissy missy how very dare you say that to me when they are told yabu

See I hate the accusation that if you start Having a tangential conversation on a thread, or make a remark about an old thread that you are being somehow..rude or cliquey!

It's not! It's just saying hello to people you 'know'.

When I was a newbie it never bothered me either!

well if anything is true it's that. if you want serious advice that is more balanced (not actually balanced) do not post in aibu.

nothing wrong with being cliquey at all.

ganging up on someone is altogether different - not meant to be directed at anyone specifically just an opinion

Standard "AIBU Bullying" pattern:

OP: AIBU?
90%+ MN: YABU! (Reason Reason Reason)!
OP: Oh No I'm Not (Drip Drip Drip)
90%+ MN: Oh Yes You Are (Reason Reason Windup)
OP + Small band of Acolytes: I am upset, stop Your Horrible Bullying
90%+ MN: WTF? YU post on AIBU then?
OP + Small band of Acolytes: Play End of Thread Harpies, snapping at the last few who disagree with them

Thread then slowly whimpers to an end..........

well if anything is true it's that. if you want serious advice that is more balanced (not actually balanced) do not post in aibu

Akshully IMO the AIBU advice is the most balanced, but some people don't like it because it may not agree with them be "supportive"

The cliquey thing - if you see an in-joke ask to have it explained (can lead to some very funny threads), join in or just ignore. I have never been on a thread, even the actual quiche threads, where newbies weren't welcomed, never ridiculed for not understanding/having heard of the original joke. There are some jokes on here that have been going for years - the bat, the truckers, the nice ham, very few people remember them all but they continue because new people continue to join in the joke. It's not exclusive, anyone can join any thread or any joke and be included.

Ta da!

Oh lovely BIWI. Quite Lupe-y

That is true, MmeLupino. (I keep seeing someone agreeing with you and thinking they are agreeing with me. which is fine, the more who agree with me, the better.)

When I first joined I was a bit wary of the "cliques" but at some point realized that you can just join in and ask stupid questions such as "why shouldn't I google Dragonbutter."

Good name, Biwi. Your name is great for name changing

Can I be part of the wolef clique now? Do I get a badge? And jacket?

Oh sorry MmeLindor, do you need me to change or are you not bothered? I didn't think it was too similar but it's the M..L.. thing at first glance, is it?

Quite right, re Dragonbutter. Also Goatse

The thing is here more often than not I have a differing opinion, and I constantly get jumped on, thing is I don't go back on a thread after I have been on it most times so they waste their digits typing anything back to me.

The nature of this forum is to disagree, it is formed of different people from different walks of life with differing personalities, everybody is going to have a different opinion. Just because it is different does not make it wrong.

No, MmeLupino. Not at all. I was a bit surprised there as I thought 'she's agreeing with me but I didn't say anything' :o

The more Mme the merrier

Thanks, do pm me though if it drives you loopy.
All agreement is good .

If you could maybe pm me with your normal name, if you are not incognito? Just cause I am nosy. I feel I should know you but can't work it out.

BecauseImWolefIt If you're really wolef it, then perhaps you should buy yourself one of these?

Oh, I say! That's absolutely fabulous!

Can I have a jacket now?

I shall be rocking this here with my jacket. I shall look all kinds of fine.

And for hanging over the door in the wolef meeting house

There has been a development in the Wolef Fleece Wearing World. Mrs Wolef Fleece was spotted walking past my house earlier this week. She lives just round the corner from me.

I shall surreptitiously stalk her and discover where she lives.