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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to worry about my son's exam results? just in and not good

161 replies

creamola · 04/08/2011 18:37

We got the exam results in Scotland today, and whilst my son has passed two out of three highers ........they are C grades.

I'm dissapointed because he is really clever and A's were predicted but he got a girlfriend and a new xbox game and really didn't take it seriously.

With the current economic climate is there any hope for someone with two C's given the competition for jobs.

AIBU to feel extremely worried for his future ???

please someone tell there son only had one C and is now thriving indepently with his own flat/house......career, wife and kids

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 04/08/2011 18:58

A friend of mine left school at 18 with C,D,E grades in her A levels - she was in love, moved in with him and took on a series of low paid, unaspirational jobs to pay their mortgage (he was serially unemployed).

In her mid 20s she decided she wanted to be a solicitor, ditched her partner (he wasn't supportive) went to night school, then uni, qualified and is doing well with her husband (also a solicitor). If you ask her she will say she just needed to experience real life to get her priorities straight.

No way is it too late for your son to do well but the motivation needs to come from him. And on that note I wouldn't a) give him a hard time (cause they are his grades) or b) pick up the pieces for him/ facilitate him to sit on his arse doing nowt.

Mitmoo · 04/08/2011 18:58

I am an Avon lady and a graduate from a top 5 uni with a 2:1 with honours. I couldn't get onto a PGCE this year as number of places slashed..

If he goes to university he is looking at £27k in fees before he eats or buys a book.

I start by asking what does he want to do and what exams does he need to get him there. When I left school I had 7 cse's and ended up in management first level by the age of 24.

Try not to sweat but see what he wants for his future and how best to get there..

Salmotrutta · 04/08/2011 18:58

That's why I asked about the 3 Highers upstream pink - most very capable pupils do 5 in 5th year. Unless of course there are particular reasons for only doing 3. Maybe he was doing 2 X Int 2 as well.

Salmotrutta · 04/08/2011 18:59

Scottish students don't pay fees at Scottish Universities Mitmoo.

And the OP is in Scotland.

Gissabreak · 04/08/2011 19:03

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fluffles · 04/08/2011 19:04

my brother has no highers at all - and a random bunch of okish standard grades - he is now a very happy chef Grin

he started as a kp in kitchens at school, tried out college, bus driving and different college, ended up back in kitchens as he really enjoyed it and worked his way up to a decent job in a very well thought-of gastro pub.

forehead · 04/08/2011 19:05

Have you asked your son what he actually wants to do?

Gissabreak · 04/08/2011 19:05

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Original poster
creamola · 04/08/2011 19:05

thanks guys...

he was doing 3 highers because he dropped 2 and thought he didn't need them.

Small fallout with the teacher's involved (on his part), he threw a strop and after a month of arguing with him I eventually said 'do what you want your 17........but you will regret it'

Now I'm regretting not chaining him to the desk and saying 'you have to do this , this is your future'

OP posts:
branstonsandcheese · 04/08/2011 19:06

I did terribly at school. Ended up getting a first at uni as a 'mature student' in my early 20s. Looking at the job market at the moment though, the best thing for school-leavers seems to be learning a trade! One friend's son is struggling to get pupillage despite a raft of top qualifications, another is raking it in as a plumber (and he's very academic), and is about to take up a job in Australia!

It's never too late and he can change things easily if he applies himself.

ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin · 04/08/2011 19:09

He dropped two because he didn't think he'd need them?
Down here in Sussex, very able students do 5, average do 4, and that is the general perception.
It does sound like a wake up call, and a time to take responsibility for his own choices and actions. He sounds naive and a bit cocky.
Forget the results, if his attitude doesn't change I'd be worried for his future. Is he up for a year of intensive retakes?
What were his subject areas?

Gissabreak · 04/08/2011 19:12

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Original poster
creamola · 04/08/2011 19:13

maths, english, history, modern studies and religious and moral eductation.

pog

he passed history and regligious and moral education .........what use is that ...he can tell people gandi and jesus are dead

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 04/08/2011 19:16

What is he actually wanting to do career wise?

Original poster
creamola · 04/08/2011 19:32

he doesn't know

he really doesn't .......

The only thing he keeps mentioning over the last 3 years is being a teacher ........but when I say are you still wanting to be a teacher he never remembers that he ever said that .......which is confusing

OP posts:
GleamingHeels · 04/08/2011 19:34

he passed history

This is a good solid academic subject, requires ability to bring information together, have an opinion and make a succinct and successful argument.

All the people who have asked about what your son actually wants to have a point, think he needs to think about the immediate and the longer term future, but I think that might be a bit difficult for him just now - did he have a clear idea before - perhaps when he was selecting his Highers, rather than after the girlfriend?

Wonder whether it was really the girlfriend and the xbox stuff that stopped him working though - did he have a crisis of confidence when he dropped the other subjects, might it be worth applying a bit of hindsight to the situation to inform the next move?

EuphemiaMcGonagall · 04/08/2011 19:36

What about childcare, Creamola?

Jonnyfan · 04/08/2011 19:42

"Results mean jack all"- I disagree.Without decent results, it is difficult for young people to get through the first stage of selection for most careers. Folk may tell you they would rather employ someone with practical skills, or whatever, but for most decent jobs he will need good grades AND a good degree AND work experience AND a good deal of luck.
Bluebell- your friend has a degree and if he has been made a director, I imagine he is nowhere near being a recent school leaver. Times are hard.
My DS has 10 A/A* GCSE, 4 A grade A levels, and a First Class Honours Degree- and he had to work hard and long to get on the first rung of the ladder.
I would encourage him to try again.

Sewmuchtodo · 04/08/2011 19:47

Creamola,

Talking to DH (taught highers for years, now teaching A level) and he has asked the following:

What grades did he get in his prelim exams (January)?
Was this 5th or 6th year results?
Would he consider college if school environment is no longer for him?

Flisspaps · 04/08/2011 19:52

I believe both Alan Sugar and Richard Branson have virtually bugger all in the way of academic qualifications.

If DS has another year of College, then it may well be that the Cs are enough of a shock to make him buck his ideas up and actually bother his arse next year.

Jonnyfan · 04/08/2011 19:54

Branson and Sugar- great, that's two who made it.

How many school leavers/ graduates this summer?

Original poster
creamola · 04/08/2011 19:56

What about childcare, Creamola?

for whom?????????

that's confused me Confused

OP posts:
ProfessionallyOffendedGoblin · 04/08/2011 19:57

It's easier to get into childcare than into teaching.

Mitmoo · 04/08/2011 19:58

Just read that you are in Scotland. Get him to get his head down now because if he changes his mind later he could end up like the English Students paying £27 in fees for a degree. I've changed my mind kick his butt, metaphorically of course, to work now to get the grades. Sod it whether he needs them or not he has the ability and no one can take them away from him later.

Mitmoo · 04/08/2011 19:58

£27 lol at me. £27k!!

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