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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To call DD's vagina her vagina?

247 replies

LauLauLemon · 03/08/2011 15:44

I don't think I am but this has now caused hell to the point where my 93 year old Grandmothet has refused to see me, my Bampi is yelling at me and everyone is up in arms.

Apparently it's a sexual term, not one to be used by little girls and I'm a bad mother. It's got to the point where my nosy grandma tried to find in laws in the phone book to complain to them about their horrible son using the word to his daughter "Get your hands off your vagina" after she was messing around.

What exactly is wrong with a three year old knowing her vagina is called just that. I'm not going to make up names for it.

Also, if DD uses this term in nursery Bampi seems to think I'll be called in for a meeting and asked not to return.

AIBU or are family just a load of bonkers twats?

OP posts:

minipie · 03/08/2011 18:50

What's wrong with that good old word fanny?

It's the closest equivalent to "willy".

ChocolateIsAFoodGroup · 03/08/2011 18:50

There's an advert here (US) that starts: 'It's been called the cradle of life.... (cue picture of woman holding up baby).... men have fought for it (cue picture men fighting)... even died for it.... (now men falling down off horses while jousting).... All hail to the POWER OF THE V!'

It's an advert for an Intimate Vaginal Wash (or some such bollocks), btw

Is this why we've all got our knickers in a twist (arf arf...) about our noo noo, marys, front bottoms? Cos men will fall off their horses jousting in honour of them? (Like to think so!)

squeakytoy · 03/08/2011 18:51

For those who think their child should use the correct words, if your child referred to her tummy or belly aching, would you correct her and make her say "stomach" or "abdomen" ?

PerryCombover · 03/08/2011 18:55

back to the point that belly isn't a term used to faff around a subject or because of embarrassment

StewieGriffinsMom · 03/08/2011 18:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PerryCombover · 03/08/2011 18:56

sgm for president

Stelll · 03/08/2011 19:00

yeah i must agree, kids are supposed to be innocent, I used to call mine a moomoo ! LOL dont know what im gona say to my little boy though !?

FabbyChic · 03/08/2011 19:02

Personally I have no idea why you are calling it that to a three year old, it really is not fitting.

Oh and if she wants to touch her vagina she should be allowed to, you teach them that they should not do it in front of anybody not that they should not touch it at all.

AmberLeaf · 03/08/2011 19:03

Why do you think its because of embarrassment or faffing around?

I dont think so, Ive never called my fanny a vagina and ive always been pretty clued up on 'feminine/sexual health' never been embarrassed to explain anything to a HCP.

I think its no different to calling my stomach a tummy etc

I think calling it vagina stems from the 60s/70s when people were trying to be feminist aware and thinking that it was empowering for girls/women.

Well ive always felt empowered and have used the terms 'fanny' mainly..occasionaly 'pussy' but never 'cunt'

StewieGriffinsMom · 03/08/2011 19:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eatyourveg · 03/08/2011 19:23

squeakytoy yes I would correct my dc if they said belly ache. A pig has a belly a person has a tummy or a stomach.

Incidently I just have "holes" one for wee to come out and one for babies. The dc know the correct names but hole seems to be innocuous enough not to incite a coronary in any relatives with fragile dispositions.

RevoltingPeasant · 03/08/2011 19:35

pinky You are right; I guess I see the unwillingness to empower girls by teaching them the correct names (due to modesty! and innocence! and cuteness! - now why does that sound refreshingly Victorian??) is symptomatic.

But I think you are right, there is a backlash against women taking charge of their own bodies.

Karstan · 03/08/2011 19:35

I hate the use of the word vagina because 9 times out of 10 it seems to be used incorrectly.

I'm always more surprised on these threads that it's a word that needs to be used at all, I don't think I knew where my vagina was until I as about 12 . I mean I knew the theory, but it wasn't something that registered as part of my anatomy.

RevoltingPeasant · 03/08/2011 19:37

Ernest it wasn't an anecdote, it was a joke. If you can't take a bit of light-hearted sarcasm, why are you on AIBU? I am hardly the nastiest person around here.

squeakytoy · 03/08/2011 19:38

A pig has a belly a person has a tummy or a stomach.

A person has a belly where I come from ....

And you dont get tummy dancers or stomach laughs..

squeakytoy · 03/08/2011 19:39

I don't think I knew where my vagina was until I as about 12

I cant remember a time when I didnt know what it was called "correctly", but I also dont think I have ever referred to it as "my vagina" to anyone either.. and I have had my fair share of gynaelogical issues since childhood.

worzelswife · 03/08/2011 22:34

'these words refer to very special, personal and private parts'

Lashings that just makes me want to vomit a bit. We should remove the embarrassment and shame of using these words. Neither my vagina nor my vulva are 'special and personal.' They are weird bits of flesh that feel good when rubbed in the right way. Just flesh, nothing more.

DrPolidori · 04/08/2011 00:04

Everlong and tatty, why are you so against little girls knowing the correct anatomical term for their bodies?

My ds knows his willy is his penis....doesn't get any het up.

Why do you think girls should be different? Do you think they should not know anything about their bodies until puberty?

This bits have names. What the hell is wrong with teaching them those names, along with the colloquial ones we give them?

My ds knows perfectly well his "tummy" is also his "stomach" and his "willy" is also his "penis".

CheerfulYank · 04/08/2011 07:03

We don't have the term "willy" here. So there really aren't any socially known words for either set of genitals.

GotArt · 04/08/2011 07:12

I've always used the word vagina for DD when she goes to the washroom... "Wipe you vagina when you finish peeing." But then I don't use urinate or bowel movement... its pee and poo. I just don't know what else to call it. But honestly, if I had a boy, I don't know if I could say "Shake your penis when your done peeing."

Bubbaluv · 04/08/2011 07:53

I've only got boys with willys, but I've most little girl's I know have wee-wees and I think that's a pretty universally understood name for girls' bits.
I see no overwhelming reason for little children to be spotting up on Gray's Anatomy.
Nothing wrong with the OP's choice either, although it will certainly raise lots of eyebrows (IRL more than on MN of course).
Gran[parents are BU, but understandably so given that this obsession with anatomical correctness seems to be a very recent development.

tyler80 · 04/08/2011 09:41

I have never, in all my life, wiped my vagina.

I think using anatomical names for the wrong bits is worse than any number of cutesie names

OTheHugeManatee · 04/08/2011 10:16

The only inoffensive term for girl's bits I can think of that's equivalent to willy is yoni. Unfortunately saying 'yoni' makes you sound like some godawful New Ager, as in:

"Dakini Sapphire, stop playing with your yoni and finish your lentils right now, it's nearly family meditation time."

nickelbabe · 04/08/2011 11:14

yes, you shouldn't wipe your vagina, because it's got its own cleaning fluids, and you would upset the balance, thus meaning that itching and other problems are more likely.

you could wipe your vulva (front to back of course), so that the wee doesn't drip into your knickers etc.

bananasplitz · 04/08/2011 11:22

Sorry but people who insist on making their children call their 'bits' vagina and penis are pretentious twats and you will embarrass your children no end when they go to school/with friends/whatever and come out with those terms.

ahh but this is lefty liberal Guardian Readers we are talking about here

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