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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I've just been threatened

657 replies

Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 01:37

I've had the garden turned into a camp site and three children sleeping in tents aged 14. They were fast asleep by midnight. I've just had an elderly neighbour knock the door, I've left the outside security light on so they have light, it is mainly on my back garden but lights up around a little bit not
much. The children felt safer

He has told me to turn off the security light as it is keeping him up. I said don't be ridiculous it is 1 o clock in the morning and close your curtains.

He says it is a hot night and he shouldn't have to close his windows. I say leave your windows open use your curtains to block the light.

He says, if you don't turn off the lights I'll be back at 3 am and you wont like what I'll do, there are consequences and you wont like them"

I feel like that is a threat, one of the children heard it and was scared, I've woken all three children, got them inside and left the light on.

AIBU for thinking this w shouldn't be allowed to make veiled threats, scare one child and force me to get the other two in from their sleeps in the garden just to make sure this tosspot doesn't follow through with his threats which he says will happen at 3 am?

The kids and me were asleep, it was just the security light, it's not like they were causing any trouble.

What do you think? Excuse typos sleepy typing.

OP posts:
twinklypearls · 03/08/2011 20:37

The op is clearly more interested in being "right" than being a good neighbour. Why on earth are you calling the police and gathering video evidence?

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 20:39

mayor that is one interpretation there are many more. I was sufficiently frightened to wake the other two children and bring them into the house to keep them safe.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 20:41

Twinky: video evidence to prove the old git is a liar. Calling the police because I was threatened.

OP posts:
twinklypearls · 03/08/2011 20:42

What did you think he was going to do? You have made a drama out of a rather dull dispute over a security light.

mayorquimby · 03/08/2011 20:42

Of course and my interpretation from your posts would not be that this man threatened you, just there was an argument between two less than reasonable neighbours. But as is clear from this thread, it's all subjective.

twinklypearls · 03/08/2011 20:45

Why do you have to prove he is a liar? Why does it matter so much? Why drag children into your feud?

He must have seen the light was on in order to complain, therefore he wasn't lying . Unless of course he is a psychotic mad axeman wandering the streets in the early hours looking for security lights.

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 20:45

twinkly I had no idea what he was going to do, which is why the police considered it legally threatening behaviour. He's an OAP he's not exempt.

mayor when you threaten people you cross the line, he was just too angry and/or stupid.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 20:49

twinkly there was no fued! I didnt know him until he presented at my doorstep at 1 am. He lied because he said the light was shining in to bedroom, that was a lie because 1. it was impossible and 2. he told the police he was watching the television so was not trying to sleep.

I later realised he had complained before when the electrician was installing the light following a shed buglary.

He could see the light, it was not targetted onto his property, so he lied. It was not on his property at all. He was too far away.

OP posts:
twinklypearls · 03/08/2011 20:50

There is a feud now, you have created it.

twinklypearls · 03/08/2011 20:52

IMO you need to stop this and let it go. You pissed of your neighbour with your security light. Don't have it shining for camping kids again - problem solved. No need for police or you collecting video evidence. I really hope the police you dragged out were not needed for a serious crime.

woollyideas · 03/08/2011 20:55

Exactly what twinkly said. Created it and escalated it IMO.

twinklypearls · 03/08/2011 20:57

Tbh I think this is a displacement activity for you. You have an I'll mother, your own anxiety issues, a son struggling with ASD and suicidal thoughts and a difficult relationship with your ex. I understand why you may wish to avoid all that and become fixated on this, but seriously you have bigger fish to fry .

I think the camping was a lovely idea and I am sorry it didn't work out. Next time give them camping lanterns and torches.

GypsyMoth · 03/08/2011 20:57

he wasnt arrested or cautioned though....so he's broken no laws

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 20:59

twinkly how could I have started it I was asleep and woken to abusive behaviour?

It is finished he has been told if he comes near me again there will be further action taken other than a word with him. The video was taken last night after the 1 am visit because it was only my garden that was lit, I didn't know where this was going.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 03/08/2011 21:02

so theres an injunction?? as thats the ONLY way further action can be taken here....

BitOfFun · 03/08/2011 21:02

Why does this keep popping up in Most Active? It must be the most tedious thread ever.

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 21:06

ILT he wasn't because I didn't want to press charges. I asked the officers to warn him off repeated behaviour and they were happy to do this. That is all I wanted for this nutjob to stay away from me.

If he does it again the police will take it further.

OP posts:
addressbook · 03/08/2011 21:08

Oh I do wish the bully brigade would fuck off now. Nothing better to do than snipe at a stressed mum worried about her ds. Mumsnet at its most glorious Hmm

Not all old people are nice because they are old. I man ringing a young woman's door in the middle of the night and threatening to come back with consequences. Come on. Even if the light was annoying you, there are more decent ways to handle it.

Dissecting her posts to try and discredit her, for goodness sake.

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 21:08

ILT you are being a bit daft. The police have a record that he is to leave me alone, not to contact me, not to call on my door and have warned him if he does further action will be taken. He will be storing himself up a case for harrassment at the very least.

An injunction is not the only way, it is one way not the only way.

OP posts:
Hatesponge · 03/08/2011 21:10

Agree entirely the OP has made this little molehill into bloody Mount Everest! Hmm

The police involvement beggars belief imo - I'd be embarrassed to call them in the circs described here (and I don't think what was said was a threat in the proper sense) and the fact the police would immediately rush round to take details AND speak to the old man...all I can say is either the OP is shagging the Chief Constable or the police are seriously underworked in her area.

Unless the OP had gone into the neighbours house last night it's impossible for her to assert the light couldn't have been disturbing him. He may well suffer from insomnia, or have an ongoing medical condition which affects his sleep.

When he turned up last night, the OP should have apologised - whether or not she thought there were grounds for complaint - and offered to turn the light off. Neighbour goes away placated, and no harm done. Instead we have police involvement and bad feeling all round! I'm not sure why the OP's initial response was so antagonistic, unless this is how she behaves to all her neighbours, which might perhaps explain why this is the second one she's crossed swords with...

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 21:10

*Oh I do wish the bully brigade would fuck off now. Nothing better to do than snipe at a stressed mum worried about her ds. Mumsnet at its most glorious

Not all old people are nice because they are old. I man ringing a young woman's door in the middle of the night and threatening to come back with consequences. Come on. Even if the light was annoying you, there are more decent ways to handle it.

Dissecting her posts to try and discredit her, for goodness sake*

It has been a "little" vicious on here today hasn't it? I did not expect this when I posted at stupid oclock in the morning to be fair.

OP posts:
thestringcheeseincident · 03/08/2011 21:11

dear god woman, let it die.

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 21:13

Why does this keep popping up in Most Active? It must be the most tedious thread ever.

I did wonder why it was so very active, I didn't expect anything like this.

OP posts:
addressbook · 03/08/2011 21:14

Hey what planet do you lot live on ffs?

So if someone threatens to come back to your house 'with consequences' and you are upset about it and involve the police, you are being a drama queen!

GypsyMoth · 03/08/2011 21:15

lol he could knock on your door to say he's found a stray cat/to warn he's having the 'builders in' or something similiar....and you can do NOTHING!!