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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I've just been threatened

657 replies

Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 01:37

I've had the garden turned into a camp site and three children sleeping in tents aged 14. They were fast asleep by midnight. I've just had an elderly neighbour knock the door, I've left the outside security light on so they have light, it is mainly on my back garden but lights up around a little bit not
much. The children felt safer

He has told me to turn off the security light as it is keeping him up. I said don't be ridiculous it is 1 o clock in the morning and close your curtains.

He says it is a hot night and he shouldn't have to close his windows. I say leave your windows open use your curtains to block the light.

He says, if you don't turn off the lights I'll be back at 3 am and you wont like what I'll do, there are consequences and you wont like them"

I feel like that is a threat, one of the children heard it and was scared, I've woken all three children, got them inside and left the light on.

AIBU for thinking this w shouldn't be allowed to make veiled threats, scare one child and force me to get the other two in from their sleeps in the garden just to make sure this tosspot doesn't follow through with his threats which he says will happen at 3 am?

The kids and me were asleep, it was just the security light, it's not like they were causing any trouble.

What do you think? Excuse typos sleepy typing.

OP posts:
MirandaGoshawk · 03/08/2011 17:24

OP, you can't know how much the light shines into his bedroom unless you've been in there (not recommended!). He shouldn't have threatened you but YABU to leave the light on when you know it keeps him awake.

My neighbour's security light is angled away from us but bounces off their shiny garage door & into our bedroom. They didn't listen & it was a big problem before I got blackout curtains made up.

I bloody hate security lights and light pollution - I can't stargaze in my back garden any more Sad.

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 17:42

Ifancy it is not shining anywhere near him, the light doesn't get past the fences at the back of the house from the back to back houses.

I even got one of the teens to video it for me last night from an upstairs bedroom window.

He could see it but there was no way it was shining in a way to disturb him.

It will go back to be used for a security light. Even the police said they couldn't work out why he was complaining. The more I think about it the more I believe he is a nutjob.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 17:43

revolting I was not agressive, I was unpleasant because I had been woken by a man shouting at me aggressively at stupid o'clock.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 17:45

Miranda You might have to give me the benefit of the doubt here on two counts. I can see the line between my light and his house, which doesn't back onto my house.

I also went upstairs with one of the teens and we videod where the light was shining. It was seriously no where near his house. He could see it but it doesn't go near his home at all. He's too far away by a long way.

OP posts:
Jux · 03/08/2011 17:45

I had another post typed out, but you know what, I can't be arsed. OP is utterly unreasonable, self-righteous and really really boring.

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 17:48

revolting why would I want rude aggressive people thinking they can wake me and mine up at all times of the day or night. This was the first night with the security light, they had tried with the lights at the back of the house on but asked for the security light to be left on.

I don't think that's unreasonable or sad. I don't want anything more to do with him and if the police have made that happen, it is a success.

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 03/08/2011 17:56

Op why could you not give him the benefit of the doubt that the light disturbed him?

Elderly people can be disturbed by a break in the norm. If that is the case then you had kept him awake. Why did you leave the light on all night even after the DC's came in?

He still has the right to complain if anything else disturbs him.

ifancyashandy · 03/08/2011 17:58

Even if that is the case - you have nothing to lose by moving it.

But you clearly just can't bear being told UAMOSTDEFINITELYBU and like all the drama so I'm off.

Here's hoping he doesn't visit you tonight, eh Hmm

TheFeministsWife · 03/08/2011 18:04

Can't believe the roasting Mitmoo is getting on this thread! Shock I got to page 13 and I can't read any more, just loads of people moaning.

FWIW Mitmoo I think YANBU. Smile

Oh and all those peeps moaning about lights on at night time, do you all live in the back of beyond? Hmm You want to see the street lighting in my close front and back, it's so bright it's like daylight!

woollyideas · 03/08/2011 18:10

What Jux said. And thank fuck I live nowhere near OP... sounds like she's spoiling for a fight and is only interested in 'winning' rather than having good neighbourly relationships.

intelligenceitself · 03/08/2011 18:15

Thestayingpoweroftheyearawardgoesto..... MITMOO Grin

AnotherJaffaCake · 03/08/2011 18:17

Until fairly recently our obnoxious next door neighbour had lights all round his front and back garden. It was like the Blackpool illuminations. You couldn't see the stars. Whilst the lights didn't disturb us, they must have annoyed someone as they have now been switched off. They used to be on all evening, every evening until late at night. Another neighbour at the back of us has a security light that shines right down into our garden and lounge - I don't think they realise this, but it isn't worth complaining about, as we get free security lighting!!!

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 18:43

Hahahaha inelligence

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 03/08/2011 18:45

anotherjaffacake........i made the point upthread about not being able to see the stars!! its 'perseid shower' season......its hard enough this year to view them with the moons cycle,but harder with strong security lights in the area!!

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 18:49

wooly I don't want this fruitcake as a good neighbour I want him nowhere near me.

He lives on a completely different street anyway and doesn't even back up to my house.

birds it wasn't left on all night. I left in on for another hour and I was narked at being threatened and totally hacked off that the child who had heard him was scared and I had to wake up the other two and bring them in.

Ifancy everything to lose by moving it because right now it is perfectly positioned to flood my garden and no one elses. If I move it I would upset people who are genuine not out for trouble.

Birds he has the right to complain, no question. He does not have the right to come to my door at 1 am be aggresive, scare me and one of the children and threaten me to get his way.

The Feminists Wife Thank god for the likes of you. Smile

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 03/08/2011 19:00

Regardless of who is wrong or right over the situation, it is never okay to threaten (or direct threats towards) children. That's really the only firm opinion I have on this atm.

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 19:12

Thanks tidy I think I'll sleep well tonight! Smile

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 03/08/2011 19:42

What Jux said.

Thank god you don't live anywhere near me.

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 20:00

*What Jux said.

Thank god you don't live anywhere near me.*

Why do you visit neighbours at 1 AM threatening them? Shameful behaviour.

OP posts:
mayorquimby · 03/08/2011 20:23

Lot of posts but am I the only one who doesn't consider the other guys response as threats*as they seem to be consistently described as). Surely he meant he'd be knocking again at 3 am to wake up the op and see how she likes getting her sleep disrupted and being kept up by an annoying neighbour?

mayorquimby · 03/08/2011 20:24

meant to be a '(' there, not a '*'

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 03/08/2011 20:27

mayorquimby Depends how he said it really. You can say a lot more with tone of voice and facial expression the words IMO.

mayorquimby · 03/08/2011 20:29

agreed, but that goes equally for the op. unfortunately as with all things we only get one side of the story. It'd be my interpretation of it based on the posts of the op even if it is from her p.o.v.

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 20:31

mayor he said he would come back at 3 am and there would be consequences that I didn't like" that's threatening behaviour.

OP posts:
mayorquimby · 03/08/2011 20:34

I presume seeing as how you reacted to being woken with a complaint at 1 am being woken with a complaint at 3 am would be a consequence that you didn't like.