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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

I've just been threatened

657 replies

Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 01:37

I've had the garden turned into a camp site and three children sleeping in tents aged 14. They were fast asleep by midnight. I've just had an elderly neighbour knock the door, I've left the outside security light on so they have light, it is mainly on my back garden but lights up around a little bit not
much. The children felt safer

He has told me to turn off the security light as it is keeping him up. I said don't be ridiculous it is 1 o clock in the morning and close your curtains.

He says it is a hot night and he shouldn't have to close his windows. I say leave your windows open use your curtains to block the light.

He says, if you don't turn off the lights I'll be back at 3 am and you wont like what I'll do, there are consequences and you wont like them"

I feel like that is a threat, one of the children heard it and was scared, I've woken all three children, got them inside and left the light on.

AIBU for thinking this w shouldn't be allowed to make veiled threats, scare one child and force me to get the other two in from their sleeps in the garden just to make sure this tosspot doesn't follow through with his threats which he says will happen at 3 am?

The kids and me were asleep, it was just the security light, it's not like they were causing any trouble.

What do you think? Excuse typos sleepy typing.

OP posts:
honeybehappy · 03/08/2011 13:27

Oooooooh ive never had a comment deleted before Confused how was asking for your poscode accusing you of being a troll. I didnt expect you to actually post it.

encyclogirl · 03/08/2011 13:28

I think the old boy sounds like an obnoxious bully. I also think he picked the wrong woman to mess with at 1.00am in the morning!

I kind of like that you put him back in his box, but I do think you were taking the piss leaving a security light on in a street full of houses.

So yeah, I think the old git got what was coming to him for making stupid threats and being nasty at all hours of the morning, and you were out of order leaving the security light on, but I think you acknowledged this up thread.

encyclogirl · 03/08/2011 13:28

too many 'thinks' in that post!

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 13:31

Cupcake you really are becoming a little tiresome now with your insults and accusations. Let's engage our brain as to how I found the neighbour shall I because it is really very simply.

You have a security light. It has annoyed someone. There are only four houses that it could possible be. I knew three of the owners so thought I would check at the fourth property. One of the ladies I knew I asked if there was an old man in the fourth house, it hadn't entered my head it would be someone on the other side of the street. As I was talking to her, he came out still confrontational and aggressive.

OP posts:
ifancyashandy · 03/08/2011 13:32

Followed from beginning - but am I reading incorrectly when say by have you only just mentioned him coming out to the street to you this morning?

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 13:32

Thank you encyclo

OP posts:
redlac6 · 03/08/2011 13:32

Mitmoo if he lives so far away how did he manage to see the electrician install said light? Do you have it right up at the eves of your house?

TuftyFinch · 03/08/2011 13:33

LadyFlumpalot the seagull is called Nigel. He doesn't drink red wine. He has an aversion to very bright lights but can tolerate up to 60w. He is a member of the local Round Table and enjoys going to Gala bingo. I don't judge the bingo, he enjoys it. I disguised myself as a hedgehog once and went with him. It was ok. Not great. Just ok.

blackeyedsusan · 03/08/2011 13:33

how are the boys today mitmoo?

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 13:33

iFANCY I went to find out where he lived while I was there he came out and said it was him I was looking for.

And yes encyclo he did pick the wrong person.

OP posts:
ragged · 03/08/2011 13:34

Sorry you've had such a terrible night, Mitmoo.

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 13:35

They're all fine still playing together but with this loon living at the back I don't actually think I'll be doing another camping sleepover. I don't think he'll dare come back but I'm not 100% sure enough to do another one. Shame that.

OP posts:
LadyFlumpalot · 03/08/2011 13:35

Thank you TuftyFinch It is all sooo much clearer now. I think. Maybe.

onehellofaride · 03/08/2011 13:36

mitmoo glad it's all worked out ok for you and hope you don't have any more problems

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 13:37

It is directly above my back door, he was going some to see that going in between the gaps of the end terraces. Maybe he heard the drill going, I just don't know and looked out to see what was going on.

I suspect he doesn't have enough to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 13:38

Thanks to all who have sent good wishes.

OP posts:
AmberLeaf · 03/08/2011 13:39

I can understand why the OP posted last night as she was worried.

I really dont get why some posters here are still going on boringly trying to discredit the OP.

I suggest they go and have a cool drink and stay in the shade. andgetalife

Salmotrutta · 03/08/2011 13:40

Well, what's done is done so I hope it stays calm in future for you and your DS.

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 13:41

amber thanks, I was worried and we all ended up sleeping in my lounge using the camping gear.

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 03/08/2011 13:42

mitmoo, if you get any further problems at least this incident will be recorded. Little acts of nuisance by neighbours soon mount up.

ifancyashandy · 03/08/2011 13:43

Ok, just seems odd that you only mentioned he threatened you / was aggressive for a 2nd time after 14 odd pages.

But whatever

cloudydays · 03/08/2011 13:43

"You may be of the opinion that the op behaved in a rude and disrepectful manner cloudydays but it was the the elderly neighbour who was aggressive and intimidating in threatening the op."

Just to clarify, the aggression and intimidation that I was referring to was the OP's immediate response when the man called to complain, and the fact that she left the light on just to antagonise him, even after the boys had come in from the garden. I also think that it's likely the man would have found it quite intimidating to be visited by the police in the middle of the night, though if the OP truly felt that her safety was threatened (I'm not at all convinced that she did) then she was within her rights to call them of course.

I don't think that the elderly neighbour was right to threaten to come back and do something OP wouldn't like, and nowhere in my post did I say that that was okay. But he hasn't asked for my opinion as to whether he was being unreasonable. OP has asked, and my opinion is that she was very unreasonable indeed.

The point of my post was that OP was the one responsible for looking after other people's children for the night, and the example that she set by her behaviour was appalling. Others have already outlined the many ways in which she could have handled the situation in a much more reasonable, decent, adult manner. If my kid were on that sleepover, it wouldn't be the elderly neighbour that I was disgusted with, because it wasn't to him that I'd have entrusted my son for the night.

RedHotPokers · 03/08/2011 13:43

'They're all fine still playing together but with this loon living at the back I don't actually think I'll be doing another camping sleepover. I don't think he'll dare come back but I'm not 100% sure enough to do another one. Shame that.'

But this could have all been avoided OP! We all encounter difficult and awkward people in life, but the trick is to use diplomacy to get what you want not create even more drama. You may feel like you have 'won', but you really haven't, clearly.

Next time, try counting to 10.

AmberLeaf · 03/08/2011 13:44

Cloudy the police didnt visit him in the middle of the night

Chandon · 03/08/2011 13:49

I think the OP would not have been given the "3rd degree" if she had admitted anywhere that maybe she had been wrong (which she was for leaving the light on, and then again for telling him he was ridiculous, and then again for leaving the light on for some more out of "pure spite" as she said.)

He was wrong too. But she was wrong x 3