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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I've just been threatened

657 replies

Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 01:37

I've had the garden turned into a camp site and three children sleeping in tents aged 14. They were fast asleep by midnight. I've just had an elderly neighbour knock the door, I've left the outside security light on so they have light, it is mainly on my back garden but lights up around a little bit not
much. The children felt safer

He has told me to turn off the security light as it is keeping him up. I said don't be ridiculous it is 1 o clock in the morning and close your curtains.

He says it is a hot night and he shouldn't have to close his windows. I say leave your windows open use your curtains to block the light.

He says, if you don't turn off the lights I'll be back at 3 am and you wont like what I'll do, there are consequences and you wont like them"

I feel like that is a threat, one of the children heard it and was scared, I've woken all three children, got them inside and left the light on.

AIBU for thinking this w shouldn't be allowed to make veiled threats, scare one child and force me to get the other two in from their sleeps in the garden just to make sure this tosspot doesn't follow through with his threats which he says will happen at 3 am?

The kids and me were asleep, it was just the security light, it's not like they were causing any trouble.

What do you think? Excuse typos sleepy typing.

OP posts:
CupcakesandTwunting · 03/08/2011 13:06

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GypsyMoth · 03/08/2011 13:06

Glitter......x posted

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 03/08/2011 13:06

If one party is claiming sleep deprivation and the other has been woken at 1am, I wouldn't expect either to necessarily handle any complaint in the best way.

You may be of the opinion that the op behaved in a rude and disrepectful manner cloudydays but it was the the elderly neighbour who was aggressive and intimidating in threatening the op.

As for the police involvement today, I live in the inner city of London and in the recent past had an officer on my doorstep asking if he could check my garden, shed, etc, when a distant neighbour's cat decamped from his home with her week-old kittens.

Apparently the fact that I and other householders have resident felines was sufficient to convince the nutter neighbour (who I'd not previously exchanged a word with) that any of us could be harbouring said cat and her offspring.

Given the crime rate in this relatively well-heeled area, and the extortionate rate of council tax that I'm required to pay for the privilege of owning a property here, I was not best pleased that the Met's resources were deployed to investigate the case of a missing moggy but, on reflection, it may be justified as having prevented a more serious incident should the cat's owner have taken it into his head to start scaling fences, accost other neighbours with his accusations, etc.

As amber has pointed out, some people are arseholes and when dealing with such inviduals appeasement can be a dangerous policy in that it can open the floodgate to continued unreasonable demands and requests.

redlac6 · 03/08/2011 13:07

How did you find out where he lives Mitmoo?

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 13:07

I found out where he lived by going to the houses that back onto my house thinking it had to be one of them, while I was talking to a woman he came out and said it was him I was looking for. SO I got his house number that way.

OP posts:
izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 03/08/2011 13:07

'individuals' - sleep deprivation is getting to me too.

redlac6 · 03/08/2011 13:09

thats convenient! How do you know that he came out of his own house though? Maybe he was visiting a neighbour? Did you know his name from his previously complaints? He must have ruddy good eyesight to see an electrician putting the light on through a wee tiny gap in the houses?

glitterkitten · 03/08/2011 13:09

SO if he came out to say you would be looking for him, rather than discuss it like adults you scarpered home and STILL called the Police??

CupcakesandTwunting · 03/08/2011 13:09

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CupcakesandTwunting · 03/08/2011 13:10

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Salmotrutta · 03/08/2011 13:11

So what did you and he say to each other when he came out and told you it was him you were looking for?
Wasn't that the opportunity to have a discussion about the whole thing?

Kladdkaka · 03/08/2011 13:12

OP you've mentioned a couple of times that he disturbed your sleep at 1am and that this is unreasonable over a light. Isn't that a bit hypocritical, after all you are disturbing his sleep at 1am over a light.

ShirleyKnot · 03/08/2011 13:12
FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 03/08/2011 13:12

What a lot of drama you made over nothing op. YABVVVVVVU.

You really should have kept the fuss to a minimum, if only for your son's sake.

BeerTricksPotter · 03/08/2011 13:13

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Salmotrutta · 03/08/2011 13:14

I would actually be interested to know what you and he discussed when he came out of his house? Maybe he was hoping for a proper talk about it in the cold light of day (no pun intended)?

GypsyMoth · 03/08/2011 13:15

How's your sons anxiety this morning op? Or has he taken himself off fishing?

LadyFlumpalot · 03/08/2011 13:16

Oh I'm confused. Will someone let me know if there is any mention of a ruined essay, a seagull on a bin and a horse or some spilt red wine?

Thank you!

glitterkitten · 03/08/2011 13:17

And i do hope you got your mum to her appointment in between sleeping in, posting on here, running around the neighborhood to find the tyrant and speaking with the police

Salmotrutta · 03/08/2011 13:17

There was an old lady and some bikers..................

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 03/08/2011 13:18

Why is mitmoo getting the third degree? It is what it is, and she's handled it.

As a single female householder, and now in the hot cold light of day, I'm of the opinion that reporting the neighbour's threat to the police was the correct action to take otherwise mitmoo would be living with an unacceptable degree of fear should she, for example, accidentally leave her security light on at some future date.

I've no doubt that mitoo knows that using an alternative souce of lighting for future camping events in her back garden would be a wise and considerate option.

Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 13:22

KLaddakaka His sleep wasn't being disturbed he was downstairs watching tv according to the police.

Salm I was fairly hacked off by then, I'd nearly slept in for Mums hospital appointment, had to wake the kids up, so I could take mum to hospital and get a friend to give them breakfast (one of the other mums).

He came out when he saw me in the street, he didn't have to but he did, he was still aggressive and started shouting about the light. I told him he didn't get to threaten women at 1 in the morning, and that being a pensioner doesn't make him above the law, and I had informed the police of his threats.

He tried to lie and say he hadn't threatened me just that he'd come back at 3 am so I said tell it to the police but there is a witness. I just drove off then.

There was no reasoning with him, he was just obnoxious. I really do believe that some people need their behaviour nipping in the bud, I don't believe he will be back, he'll be off finding someone else to moan about.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 13:23

Fruit You think threatening people is OK because I don't.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 13:24

Izzy Definately torches if there is a next time. And thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 13:25

Glitter he came out for a confrontation that was evident from the second he spoke to me.

OP posts: