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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The OFFICIAL buddy bench/naughty bench thread No. 6

999 replies

Teaandcakeplease · 02/08/2011 21:09

Come hither all those who haven't found their place on mumsnet, have scrapped in Aibu or crossed words in chat. The buddy bench shalt not judge.

The buddy bench will hand out wine and cakes, it will join you on your scoffathons getting pissed

All those who sit on the bench, will have their sins erased and be given a warm welcome and cheerful chat from CheerfulYank, gomummy, tiredmum, Elmo, valiumredhead and far, far too many more to mention.

Welcome to the buddy bench, we look forward to meeting you all Smile

Oh and don't forget, last one to leave polishes bench and locks up!

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 29/12/2011 16:58

I have replied on your thread x

CheerfulYank · 29/12/2011 16:59

I would be too Tea! Don't know why they can't just refund your card. Angry Want me to call someone and give them a piece of my mind?!

CheerfulYank · 29/12/2011 17:02

You'd be welcome Tiredmum! :)

ElmosChristmasWish · 29/12/2011 17:06

I've posted on your thread too Tea x

Enjoy the peace & quiet Cheerful , I'm very Envy my two are non stop fighting today Grrrrrrrr

Original poster
Teaandcakeplease · 29/12/2011 17:26

I've written 2 stinky e-mails. They did call within 24 hrs. That part was good.

My 2 are bouncing off the walls right now.

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 29/12/2011 17:45

DS was so excited to go with "Papa Bob". They have a big ice-fishing expedition planned (apparently the ice house cooler is already stocked with DS's favorite snacks :o) and I'm hoping my Dad can get him on skates. DS is insisting that he won't learn how to skate but he's just doing it to be contrary. I feel like, given our weather and environment, everyone should at least learn how to skate and swim. If you don't want to do it, that's fine, but at least learn how! :)

CheerfulYank · 29/12/2011 17:46

I just called to see how they were doing on their journey (it's a five hour drive) and Dad said that they've just been chatting. :) DS already talked him into a McDonald's drive through and is playing with the Chipmunks toy he got.

ElmosChristmasWish · 29/12/2011 17:53

Aww Cheerful , sounds like ds is going to have a brilliant time with his granddad Smile

CheerfulYank · 29/12/2011 17:57

I think so! :) DS always wants to be with my mom because she's a very hands-on grandmother, the type who will play pirates for hours, etc. My Dad's not really like that and neither am I but adores DS and I think gets a bit hurt when DS would rather play with "Mimi" (that's what he calls my mom) than go places with him. So I'm glad they'll have the drive and time together fishing to bond.

Gomummy I am starting a massive clean-out and organize today! I just got the dumpster. :) Wish you could come help!

ElmosChristmasWish · 29/12/2011 18:06

Aww thats sooo sweet Smile My dad is like your mum with my dd , he will spend hours playing "shop" or "school" with her each week Grin She orders him about something terrible but he adores her Grin
x

Original poster
Teaandcakeplease · 29/12/2011 18:09

Oh Cheerful you parents sound awesome mine are shite with my DCs Sad

OP posts:
gomummygo · 29/12/2011 18:23

Cheerful & Elmo, your parents sound so wonderful, very happy for your DCs. My DS only has my mum, and she is pretty far away, but at least they get the odd visit and chat on the phone. He loves receiving cards from her. DH and I have always felt a bit badly for him that he doesn't have a circle of GPs in his life, and our extended relatives are too far away for him to "know", iykwim.

Oh wow Cheerful that sounds massive, a dumpster! I SO wish I could come help too! (And would be staying with Tiredmum for your NYE celebration!) Grin

ElmosChristmasWish · 29/12/2011 18:39

Thanks gomummy Smile
I bet your ds's little face lights up when your mum sends him a card xx
Dh's parents both died before i met dh so our dc's Never got a chance to meet them so i think my mum and dad try to make it up to the dc's only having 1 set of gp's iykwim .

CheerfulYank · 29/12/2011 19:07

My parents are pretty young (Only 19 when "D"B was born and 22 with me) so they're in their early 50's now and have lots of energy to run around and play with DS. And he's the only grandchild for them so far, so they can focus on him, the spoiled little thing! :)

Tiredmumno1 · 29/12/2011 19:39

Sad tea some people are just nice and others that just dont bother, I know its not nice, I feel sorry for any kids in that position that just dont understand
Yanky your ds sounds like he is having a fab time, wish I was there, Envy @ mcdonalds yummy

Original poster
Teaandcakeplease · 29/12/2011 19:59

It's a long a painful saga with my parents not approving of my discipline methods, thinking I'm not strict enough. How they think DS is naughty/ badly behaved etc. It's funny when I was born apparently I was a terrible baby and cried all the time, then I became the most naughty child etc. I was already labelled out of the 5 kids as the difficult one. My brothers joined in with the same treatment of me. And now they're labelling my son too Sad Angry He doesn't behave like himself around them I've noticed anyway and you cannot get a measure of a child from seeing them once a month for 2 or 3 hours. My Dad has only seen him twice this year and yet at the big family gathering claimed DS always gets his own way. I HATE the way they label and speak things over him. And no smacking is not the answer!!!!!!

He definitely has a few autistic traits but he's at the bottom of the spectrum imo. He's a typical boy with a temper. My parents smacked us at the slightest sign of disobedience. No wonder my DS is nothing like their memory of their own children Sad

Smile
OP posts:
Original poster
Teaandcakeplease · 29/12/2011 20:01

My parents have 12 grand kids now but have never been massively involved with any of them. My mum gets stressed looking after my children. So I haven't asked her again since Oct 2009. She was in tears that day. My dad is cold with them. No warmth. He's a stern character. Think of John Thaw as Inspector Morse, he is like my dad!

OP posts:
gomummygo · 29/12/2011 20:12

:( Tea, I remember a couple of your threads about their idea of discipline. Glad you have stuck to your guns about it. I was also smacked, for the slightest thing. Am proud of you for standing up for your choice not to.

Teaches me a lesson as well - that if DS had other GPs in his life it wouldn't necessarily be positive, could just be more of a challenge for me to manage!

CheerfulYank · 29/12/2011 20:26

:( Your DS is just little yet, Tea. What on earth do they expect him to be like?

Original poster
Teaandcakeplease · 29/12/2011 20:31

Like their memories of their 5 kids? Each of their children though was 3 years apart, not 17 months. Besides you learn to tow the line or risk a beating, so you do as you're told Sad I do not remember much of my childhood, sometimes I get flashbacks if mum tries something on my kids. A while ago Isabella was crying and mum said "booo hooo hooo I can make silly noises like you" I immediately told her to stop and that's not how I do things. But it made me remember vividly the humliation I was made to feel in public or in front of my 4 brothers by her sometimes with similar tactics.

OP posts:
Tiredmumno1 · 29/12/2011 21:09

Oh tea, that is an awful situation, they are your children no-one elses it would do them good to remember that.

You are a fab mum so you must be doing something right Smile

gomummygo · 29/12/2011 22:27

:( Tea. Good for you not allowing your mum to continue to taunt your DD like that though.

CheerfulYank · 29/12/2011 23:10

Yes good for you. I remember my own mom doing something similar to me. TBF I was a whiny little thing...but in this instance I had broken my finger quite badly and was in real pain. A tiny part of me does NOT forgive her. :(

Tiredmumno1 · 30/12/2011 16:54

Just testing my new toy so feel free to ignore Grin

ElmosChristmasWish · 30/12/2011 18:31

I got your Christmas Card this morning Cheerful - Thank You it's lovely Smile Thanks xxx

ooh tiredmum did you get the ipod touch then ? x

Tea - Any joy on the M&S situation ?