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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder how other people can always seem to manage much better than we do on their income

76 replies

slipperandpjsmum · 02/08/2011 14:34

My dh and I have a reasonable amount of money coming into our family but I am forever reaching my over draft limit at the end of the month. This year we have not been able to afford to go on holiday. We live in a very modest house

I have just come back from my friends house. She is putting her house on the market and they are moving into something much larger. Other friends are going on long haul holidays. I know they earn less than I do I just can't work out what I am doing wrong.

I did that write down everything I was spending thing and we have cut out anything we can do without.

Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions as to where I am going wrong!!??

It feels very frustrating working full time but feeling like we have no money left for some nice things aibu to expect to be able to??

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/08/2011 14:37

There are two possibilities. Either your budgeting still needs a lot of work or they're buying everything on tick. And I'd guess the latter....

joric · 02/08/2011 14:38

Do they have a credit card?
That is how a lot of people I know afford things! :)

joric · 02/08/2011 14:38

X post

neolara · 02/08/2011 14:39

Maybe they have smaller mortgages? Had family help to buy their houses? Bought houses earlier than you when prices where lower?

FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 02/08/2011 14:39

It's credit. Or they bought houses at the right time and made loads of cash from that.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/08/2011 14:39

Dead granny in the spare room whose pension they're still drawing?.....

itsraining · 02/08/2011 14:39

I can't really comment on your situation without knowing more but it does seem to me that a lot of people seem to get hand outs from their own parents eg conservatory, money for children's activities, holidays paid for, clearner paid for, car. These are all rl examples. I remember them well because we don't have much money and my dparents have never offered to help us in any way at all. In fact we are currently subbing pil and my parents have been fishing for money from us, wtf!

seachange · 02/08/2011 14:40

We don't do too badly. I spend quite a bit of time on expert.com Money Saving Expert. We don't have a car I guess, that is the main chunk that we cut out of our outgoings.

twinklypearls · 02/08/2011 14:41

Did they have their mortgage before you ? I find that is what divides us from other people?

I have friends who pay out a few hundred in mortgage. My rent is £1200 a month and our mortgage will be a similar amount .

CogitoErgoSometimes · 02/08/2011 14:41

@slipperandpjsmum... bit of a personal question but do you have a lot of CC balances and loan/HP payments? Often when people on good incomes can't make ends meet it's because they've got a lot of commitments.

seachange · 02/08/2011 14:41

Www.moneysavingexpert.com sorry.

Stupid iPad Grin

MrsBaggins · 02/08/2011 14:42

Maybe they have had an inheritance but dont want to discuss it ?

Do you spend a lot on food?- I find unless I mealplan its very easy to overspend-supermarkets spend ages working out strategies to part you with your money ! Are you paying off debts ?
Bear in mind that the cost of every day living is shooting up.
The reality is that a lot of people dont have much money left over .

thestringcheeseincident · 02/08/2011 14:42

Is it your mortgage payments? ours are enormous and that's where alot goes.

NonnoMum · 02/08/2011 14:43

I feel the same. We recently started taking in students which could possibly bring in £500 a month. Our Mil thought that would cover our mortgage. Ha ha ha ha. No way.

We can't really go on holiday. We are not eligible for tax credits or anything like that. I don't know how people manage.

It's all about the mortgage I think...

MrsBaggins · 02/08/2011 14:47

Another thought - people tend to show their best side ifyswim ?
They might be overstretching themselves on a big mortgage or buying lots of stuff on credit.
Best to not worry too much about others - I once had huge debts and paid it all off .I will never go there again.
I dont look around at others -am happy and content .No holiday and a very old car.

rainbowtoenails · 02/08/2011 14:49

Their mortgage payments could be much lower.

It could be lots of things: childcare, cars, pensions, old debts, insurances, supermarket choice, smoking, alcohol, eating out, etc.

If you state your monthly outgoings we can prob suggest ways of cutting it.

janelikesjam · 02/08/2011 14:50

their family may help them financially ... you never know ...

HowNowKernow · 02/08/2011 14:52

Having wondered a similar thing I had an honest chat with a few friends, hoping to get some tips from them about how they make their money go further. It turned out they mostly bought things on their credit cards.

Now I realise I'm happier with older clothes, an older kitchen, an older car and so on rather than having big CC debt hanging over me. It was a relief to find out I wasn't just crap at budgetting!

HarrietJones · 02/08/2011 14:56

Mortgage makes a huge difference. Dh & I both bought ages ago and combined on our current house. In my head it's a huge mortgage but it's only half the house and £400 a month.

lesley33 · 02/08/2011 14:58

We manage to do much more than some of our friends who have roughly the same income as us - I think.

I think some people aren't great at managing money. Small things can make a difference. So I and my OH take packed lunches to work and never buy take away coffees at work. We don't buy celeb magazines. Just silly things like this do add up.

The other explanation is that people are getting financial help from family. We don't get any and I hadn't realised for ages that some people did get this even though their parents are not mega rich and they are in reasonably well paid jobs.

Or they are in debt. A friend and her OH are both in low paid jobs, but there has never seemed any shortage of money for work to the house or holidays. As one of them has a very wealthy parents, we assumed there were being subbed by this parent. My friend came to me in tears a week ago saying they were in loads of debt. I had had no idea.

HowNowKernow · 02/08/2011 14:58

Also, I forget that quite a few of my friends have well off parents who have helped them buy houses and give them big gifts of money at Christmas and that type of thing.

lesley33 · 02/08/2011 15:01

The other thing is that we have always saved. So it may look strange to friends who suddenly see us doing some big work on our house or going an expensive holiday. But this hasn't been funded out of our current earnings, but out of savings.

Pandemoniaa · 02/08/2011 15:02

It all depends on how things are paid for. My friend lived next door to a couple who were forever buying stuff - furniture, cars, televisions, sound systems etc. They spent most weekends in shopping malls with the exception of the 4 weeks or so when away on holiday. None of this was bought from earnings but all put on credit cards. So while they appeared really prosperous and capable with money given their jobs, they weren't managing any better in reality.

Adversecamber · 02/08/2011 15:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

higgle · 02/08/2011 15:11

I think the answer might be not having credit card or overdraft debts, rather than having them. Saving up is better. I manage expenses ruthlessly with a spread sheet to keep me on track, wear designer clothes mostly from sales or ebay and save little but very often for nice holidays (If I've got a spare pound coin it goes in the savings box, not back into general expenditure.)
We are quids in compared to some of our neighbours as we have lived in our house for 16 years and so have a smaller mortgage than our neighbours, I suspect. The other things I think make a real difference are a company car (or two) and pension payments - some people are responsible and have less now and more later.

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