Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

to wonder how other people can always seem to manage much better than we do on their income

76 replies

slipperandpjsmum · 02/08/2011 14:34

My dh and I have a reasonable amount of money coming into our family but I am forever reaching my over draft limit at the end of the month. This year we have not been able to afford to go on holiday. We live in a very modest house

I have just come back from my friends house. She is putting her house on the market and they are moving into something much larger. Other friends are going on long haul holidays. I know they earn less than I do I just can't work out what I am doing wrong.

I did that write down everything I was spending thing and we have cut out anything we can do without.

Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions as to where I am going wrong!!??

It feels very frustrating working full time but feeling like we have no money left for some nice things aibu to expect to be able to??

OP posts:

bestmate · 02/08/2011 17:10

I often wonder this, Im a sahm so I know we could solve any money issues If i went back to work (not on the cards) , though we arn't stoney broke and dont struggle, I do wonder how some of our friends who I know earn less than DH manage £1500 rent on a house, when we are mortgage free and I know no way could we afford £1500 a month! I shudder realy at the thought, as we do want to do a big move sometime, and its going to cost a fortune and put us back on that mortage ladder.

ilovepizza · 02/08/2011 18:03

I think we manage ok because we're naturally quite tight/ thrifty. We paid our mortgage off before having DD and I am a SAHM so have no childcare costs. Our cars are quite old and we bought them with cash so no loan/hp every month to pay, and my husband shares lifts with a colleague to save on fuel.

I think those are the fairly big four killers there: Mortgage/rent, childcare, car loan/hp and fuel.

pink4ever · 02/08/2011 18:08

I struggle with this too. I am a sahm but my dh earns what I know many people would think is a decent wage-approx 45 grand. We have lived in the same tiny ex-council house for years and the mortgage is small. We drive a low range car and struggle to afford a week at the seaside.
I know a lot of the problem is my dh likes his treats-ie a takeaway or two every weekend, a meal out once a month etc. He also drinks a bit too much. I am not blameless as I like clothes(though am talking primarni rather than armani prices!).
I have friends who I know earn similiar or less money and yet they have a better life style-far bigger and nicer houses,hols abroad etc and I have to admit I am .
Its difficult to discuss with friends as I know they think we are well off and that I am exaggerating when I say our kitchen/bathroom is from the 1970's-Im really not!

WhoWhoWhoWho · 02/08/2011 18:12

I do think it's either that they have help, or they are in debt OR they are very good at managing their money.

Mortgage, amount of dcs, cars, support network, etc all make a huge difference to how much disposable cash you have. moneysavingwebsite is excellent for budgetting and moneysaving tips.

Obviously if you are going into your overdraft each month then something needs reassessing but I do think the key though is to think about what you DO have rather than what others have that you don't.

WhereYouLeftIt · 02/08/2011 18:13

"I am forever reaching my over draft limit at the end of the month"

Is this costing you money?

Laquitar · 02/08/2011 18:43

The thing is we notice what other people buy but not what they DONT buy.

I was one of very few on the take away thread who never gets any take away. But on the other hand i'm going holidays and maybe some of the other posters are not going. People just spend money on different things.
But you never hear : 'Omg this family lives next to me for 5 yrs and i 've never seen them having pizza delivery!' or 'she never had a facial in 7yrs'.

We notice only what people buy not where people save on.

Butterflybows · 02/08/2011 18:50

Good points Laquitar

spanky2 · 02/08/2011 18:50

I was talking about this to my friend today. Some people have interest only mortgages. We are struggling and we shouldn't be. Our main monthly costs are mortgage (£800,) petrol (£300,) and food (£600.) I have decided we need a budget as our credit card debt and overdrafts are getting out of hand. It is so hard not to spend money as basics are so expensive.

ilovepizza · 02/08/2011 19:08

I think where you live also plays a part in how affordable life is....We were away lately in a southern city. SO shocked at how expensive parking was. Paid £10 for a day's parking as there was no street parking to be seen. I thought how awful it would be if you were working in this city on minimum wage and had to pay this charge every day. A massive chunk would be taken away from your wage every month.

I whinge at paying 60p in my town car park, and will walk rather than park and pay that much.

Things seem to be a lot cheaper here.

HannahHack · 02/08/2011 19:28

Phew what a refreshing thread! I thought OP was going to be slated for not living within her means.
I too have realised that friends of mine who go on long haul holidays do it on credit cards. One confessed to me the other day that she has £5,000 credit card debt. Another told me something similar after scoffing at my claim that I can't afford holidays.
People do get hand outs from parents as well that they don't admit to. Another friend of mine's got £4,000 from boyf's parents for a holidy for hte two of them and that is expected to happen every couple of years. Cars too. Even if your parents only got you a car when you were 17, that probs contributed to 80% of the cost of an upgrade you paid for. If you never go that investment from parents then you never have that downpayment which is really hard to save up when you first start working.
I also even have friends who's parents subsidise their rent, not to mention the ones who have stumped up what must be in the region of £70-250k to buy houses in London.
Anyway, must stop now before I come accross as too !!

i am one of those buggers who just got an inheritance

JemimaMuddledUp · 02/08/2011 19:29

Our mortgage is tiny (less than £300 a month at the moment) and this makes a huge difference. Also although we have 3 DC my childcare bills are very small as my mum helps out and I only work during term time. I can walk or cycle to work so don't have transport costs.

We are fairly comfortable on a household income that some people wouldn't be able to survive on.

Laquitar · 02/08/2011 19:30

butterfly, i've just realized that i typed almost the same sentence twice Yes, so good my point was that i typed it again in case you miss it . Sorry, sooo tired i don't know what i'm doing.

PumpkinBones · 02/08/2011 19:57

We have a low rent, 2 bed (very small) HA flat - less than £400 a month. We seem to do well in that our tax credits cover most of our childcare (although I had an endless conversation with my neighbour the other day who moaned that I got so much more than her - I pointed out that actually she gets "more" as she gets to keep hers, her MIL does their childcare free - but never mind...!) however it is very unlikely we will own our own home in the next 10 years, and won't have a house in the meantime...We go on two holidays a year, a caravan one and one abroad, but I always book these at least a year in advance and pay monthly, I also have a holidays and xmas / birthdays savings account. So I probably seem better off in some ways, but are worse off in tohers, if that makes sense?!

PumpkinBones · 02/08/2011 19:59

Of course it doesn't make sense! others

activate · 02/08/2011 20:04

we never buy take-aways but will go out to eat on occasion
we have a small mortgage compared to the value of the house
we never live in credit - overdraft, credit card or loans are not free money
we don't buy things we can't afford, we don't envy things we don't have
if we have a spend coming up we budget so that we can afford it
we bulk buy on offers

ivykaty44 · 02/08/2011 20:04

Become anul with money for a while.

Use things like meal plan to get your weekly food bill knocked down (a little each week so it isn't a big shock)

Get ride of more things you don't need - car boots, ebay and also get rid of any insurances you don't need, keep to the basic life house and car. get rid of the frills.

Then shop around for cheaper bills.

then put money away each months straight onto your mortgage - thus reducing your outgoings as this bill will become smaller - you need to check you can actually do this.

get an extra job - extra income will help - delivery, avon or even KP work - helps make Christmas or holidays cheaper. Think pennies rather than pounds on this one and you will be surprised how much you can gain

PumpkinBones · 02/08/2011 20:10

Oh yeah, we hardly ever get takeaways or eat out, when we do, we tend to go to places like Wetherspoons where food is cheap and children acceptable

ragged · 02/08/2011 20:11

Another one who suspects mortgage payments is the difference OP can't know about.
I have friends who have same mortgage payment as us but manage on an income (wait for it...) which is about 40k less than ours. I think they go without too much but they reckon they are getting along perfectly fine. They are unbelievably cunning about budgeting for food, for instance. And they almost never use Ebay!

stressheaderic · 02/08/2011 20:12

I wonder this too. A friend of mine and her DP have similar jobs to me and my DP...yet we're in a 3-bed ex council house which needs a lot of work, and we're struggling day to day. They are in a brand new 5 bed detached on fancy estate with 2 new cars and 3 hols abroad this year.

She broke down this week and told me they are in shitloads of debt. Many credit cards and 2 loans. Sleepless nights, sleeping tablets, all that. Don't envy her position much.

Funtimewincies · 02/08/2011 20:48

Food bill is a biggie. I've a small allotment and grow veg in the garden (and have done for about 10 years).

£17 rent + £5 seeds + £10 seed potatoes + £10 compost + extra canes/string/plant food = about £60-70 per year for a lot of our food. At this time of year I'm spending a lot less in the supermarket and so have money for uk camping trips and days out. And I'll have veg in the freezer for the winter. I'm also retentive about using leftovers .

Also, very few gadgets here and things are only bought when they've had it. I'm a SAHM and I'm terrified of getting into debt when we've only one salary.

MorallyBankrupt · 02/08/2011 20:48

Oh I have this all the time! A friend of mine whose DH does the same job of mine has it all. New car, big house, fancy holidays.... Cleaner! Then I found out her PIL's gave them 200k!

PedigreeChump · 02/08/2011 21:08

It's funny, DH and I were talking about this yesterday. We know we are better off than many people, but we don't really feel like our income is reflected in our savings (pitiful) or our lifestyle (modest) so we're not sure where it slipping through the cracks.

HappyMummyOfOne · 02/08/2011 21:17

Maybe they are just better at balancing their money, people can have nice things without being in debt.

They may have a lower mortgage or no debt or not spend as much on food.

TBH, if you have to use your overdraft every month you are living beyond your means. One persons cut backs can be completely different to others. If you're feeling brave you could post your outgoings and I bet most posters cut cut them down.

TigerseyeMum · 02/08/2011 21:28

We have this too. We know another couple the same age as us. They have managed to buy the bigger house that we wanted, run 2 cars and a bike, have long haul holidays, buy stuff...and they are about to buy another house, bigger than before, for an amount we couldn't hope to spend.

I have no idea how they do it. Their mortgage repayments are bigger than ours.

Bu what makes a difference is a consistently slightly higher salary for years - so for example my friend earned £5k per year more than me for the last 6 years. Her husband gets a good salary - same as my OH but also get bonuses on top. His last bonus bought him his new car. Parents and inheritance have made up the rest.

It's those bits that make a difference. So they are shopping extravagantly in Waitrose, and we are budgeting in Lidl

niceguy2 · 02/08/2011 21:40

To be honest there's not enough information here for anyone to say anything either way.

"reasonable amount of money..." & "modest house" are all relative terms.

I get paid a good salary. A few people do better, many do much worse. The couple I know who earn the closest to what I earn, they jet off on foreign holidays several times a year, drive a convertible and spend money like they print it. But then I have savings and equity in my home but i go without fancy holidays. They have debts and no equity (due to repeatedly remortgaging to cover previous debts).

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread