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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate the phrase "yummy mummy"

142 replies

NewbeeMummy · 02/08/2011 10:24

and MILF for that matter... Hmm

one of the girls I work with is expecting soon and keeps going on about how she loves the idea of being a "yummy mummy".

I really cannot stand the phrase, and even worse when I'm refered to as a MILF, by my male colleagues, and expected to take it as a compliment.

Why do people think these terms are at all acceptable? or am I just being a miserable bitch?

OP posts:
superv1xen · 05/08/2011 15:56

Whereas "yummy mummy" strikes me as a term engineered by women themselves

i don't agree, i suspect it was originally invented by the Daily Mail. :o

MsAnnThroppy · 05/08/2011 16:12

Er, if you had no children and a male colleague decided to declare they'd like to fuck you and have a suck on your tits, then that is clear sexual harassment. If someone at work is suggesting you are a MILF or suggesting they'd like to breastfeed from you, then you need to speak to HR. This is sexual harassment. Just because you are a mother doesn't make it any less.

People who call themselves "yummy mummies" are morons.

catgirl1976 · 05/08/2011 16:13

Which bit of MILF suggest the person saying it wishes to breast feed or have I missed a post?

MsAnnThroppy · 05/08/2011 16:15

OP said:

That said nothing beats one of my colleagues who asked if I was BF'ing when I returned to work, i thought he was just taking an interest, turns out he always wanted to try it - what did he expect me to do? pop a boob out and say well there you go?????

catgirl1976 · 05/08/2011 16:16

Ah. I missed that.

Still I wouldn't call that sexual harrasment, just a bit Hmm

FantasticVoyage · 05/08/2011 16:48

superv1xen (Fri 05-Aug-11 15:56:35 )

('Whereas "yummy mummy" strikes me as a term engineered by women themselves')

i don't agree, i suspect it was originally invented by the Daily Mail.

By one of their women staffers inbetween writing some un-sisterly pieces about cellulite or being a working mum, no doubt!

Diamondback · 05/08/2011 16:48

I thought my daughter had managed to get more puree on my shirt, even though I'd already cleaned and changed her since lunch. Then I realised it was a bogey.

Mmmmm, I feel yummy...

glitterkitten · 05/08/2011 16:50

I don't mind it. I'm a mummy. I like to think I'm at least a bit yummy. ... Is it because it's attached to the word mummy that people don't like it?

northernrock · 05/08/2011 17:02

Well Glitter, what I hate about both terms is that there is a the implication that it is somehow amazing if you have given birth and (gasp) still look attractive.
I also hate being referred to in general life as "a mummy" as if that is all I am, because lets face in, the majority of women in the world have children. Its no big deal, and is one facet of who they are.
And this is not me being secretly pissed off 'cos I am not a Yummy/milf 'cos I was back in my size ten Topshop jeans within three months of giving birth. Again, big deal.
No matter what they do/acheive women are continually judged on their fuckability. Its so very wearing.

peppapighastakenovermylife · 05/08/2011 17:06

In addition to what northernrock says...it is also the underlying assumption that we should be grateful to still be found attractive now we have given birth. As if we are in some kind of different category now and should take these compliments when we should get them.

glitterkitten · 05/08/2011 17:08

But I don't automatically look at the phrase from a feminist " all men are out to objectify/ belittle you" standpoint. It's a phrase I'd expect to hear from men and women equally. I am a mummy and very proud to hold that title. I could pass as a bit yummy, that would be a compliment. Put together the two are merely a flattering observation.

catgirl1976 · 05/08/2011 17:11

Agree its a) being defined by being a mummy and b) the amazement that once you have children you still might be attractive.

northernrock · 05/08/2011 17:12

Hmm. It's not that I hate it out of some duty to feminism. Its just that I think it is really patronising, from men or women.

TooImmature2BDumbledore · 05/08/2011 17:15

But it's also a very specific type of mummy - the Bugaboo/Hummer-pushing, beige cashmere pashmina and Ugg boot and giant designer shades-wearing mummy with straightened, highlighted hair and a Starbucks skinny soya decaf cappucino. It's a very Sloaney image. I don't like that image either.

StewieGriffinsMom · 05/08/2011 17:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

glitterkitten · 05/08/2011 17:21

Well. It doesn't bother me at all.

Isn't it stressful to live a life where such comments are overanalysed to the point where some dreadful agenda is attached to it. What's wrong with being described as an attractive mother? Or would those particular words be acceptable?

catgirl1976 · 05/08/2011 17:23

What's wrong with it is why does "mother" need to be tacked on to the end of it? Would attractive on its own not do?

MsAnnThroppy · 05/08/2011 17:23

Again, look at it from the perspective of a non mother. If one of your colleagues (not a mother) does exactly the same job as you to the same standard; but swans around declaring her superiority based on her slimness/dress sense/accessorising (or whatever the hell other superficial criteria she holds dear or "yummy"), then you'd think she was a bit of a twat, yes? The concept of the "yummy mummy" is that one is a superior being based on what you look like, not what you do.

As for the MILF. I can't believe how many women on here seem to base their self worth on whether some random bloke wants to screw them. Are women supposed to be flattered that someone they wouldn't touch with a bargepole fancies them?

StewieGriffinsMom · 05/08/2011 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

glitterkitten · 05/08/2011 17:35

I never for one second thought, nor do
I believe, that the term yummy mummy is used as some superiority issue. That's what I mean by reading too much into it. And yes, mummy or mother, or whatever is good on it's own, but why does attaching a compliment to it suddenly a negative? I think that's quite sad.

MsAnnThroppy · 05/08/2011 17:36

Thank you, SGM Smile

catgirl1976 · 05/08/2011 17:36

Its not the atttaching a compliment to the mummy bit i find negative, its the attaching the mummy to the compliment.

glitterkitten · 05/08/2011 17:38

And for the record I have never "swanned around" declaring myself a yummy mummy, but I wouldn't be offended if someone called me it. And your analogy re childless collected swabbing around being superior yards yadda is daft. If they were to describe themselves as young free and single, that's not offensive, that's how they feel. I am sure they wouldn't be offended if felt like a yummy mummy one day

glitterkitten · 05/08/2011 17:40

I meant childless colleague swanning around Grin

Chandon · 05/08/2011 17:44

completely agree with everything Northernrock said above.