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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate the phrase "yummy mummy"

142 replies

NewbeeMummy · 02/08/2011 10:24

and MILF for that matter... Hmm

one of the girls I work with is expecting soon and keeps going on about how she loves the idea of being a "yummy mummy".

I really cannot stand the phrase, and even worse when I'm refered to as a MILF, by my male colleagues, and expected to take it as a compliment.

Why do people think these terms are at all acceptable? or am I just being a miserable bitch?

OP posts:
Chandon · 02/08/2011 16:40

I am Shock at all those who are proud (PROUD?! really?!) to be called MILF.

so as long as someone wants to f$ck you, you still count. That right?

great.

TanyaBranning · 02/08/2011 16:47

I was called MILF and Yummy Mummy a lot in my last job by a group of male colleagues who I generally got on well with and who generally weren't complete arsehole misogynists (mostly). I think I was supposed to be grateful for it Hmm

We got a bit pissed one night and I called them on it. They went a bit quiet and one said 'we only meant that you don't look like A Mum', which I thought was pathetic and told them so. What do Mums 'look like', then? Are we supposed to be downtrodden frumps in sick-stained pinafores? And are we supposed to suddenly be grateful for people telling us they'd like to fuck us (MILF) in all sorts of random situations.

Fuck off!

pjmama · 02/08/2011 16:48

When your friend's baby arrives and she's sleep deprived, hasn't had a shower for days, her hair's stood on end and she's got babyshit down her finger nails, ask her how "yummy" she feels. Grin

FreudianSlipper · 02/08/2011 16:54

yes i hate it and MILF ffs i have more important things to concern myself about than making sure i look fuckable

my ex told me i was a YM, i rolled my eyes he thought he was giving me a compliment but to be fair i was very into my looks before ds. have nto let myself go but not so self absorbed

Quenelle · 02/08/2011 17:05

Whats a GILF?

superv1xen · 02/08/2011 17:06

i hate it too. but kind of love it at the same time Blush and i would like to be one, whatever one is :o

superv1xen · 02/08/2011 17:13
pootlebug · 02/08/2011 17:53

I hate Yummy Mummy more than MILF. Not because I have any love for MILF whatsoever, but just because Yummy Mummy is so awful. When I first saw those changing bags with 'Yummy Mummy' across them I was gobsmacked....I know some people think pregnancy kills off some brain cells but I'd have to have a full frontal lobotomy before I'd voluntarily carry something like that.

DoMeDon · 02/08/2011 19:20

GILF- Granny I'd like to fuck

MmeLindor. · 02/08/2011 22:57

I hate both terms.

YummyMummy, as it is an extension of all the mummy labels - mummyblogger, mumpreneur, slummymummy - that the media so loves to bandy around.

Even if a woman is a successful business woman with her own company, she is defined by her reproductive organs. Would anyone call Sir Alan Sugar a Dadpreneur? Does he even have children?

Why is it that when a woman has a career and a family, it is mentioned in the first paragraph of every article about her but rarely mentioned when reporting the success of a male entrepreneur? Unless, like Jamie Oliver, it is part of the "Family Man" image.

YummyMummy is so patronising. Oh, look at the little woman, still able to brush her hair despite having a child to take care of.

As to MILF - that is a disgusting term and if anyone called me that, I would be most unhappy. Particularly in a working environment.

LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay · 02/08/2011 23:03

What's worse?

Being a MILF or a WILF - Woman I'd Like To Fuck

Don't we all see threads on here about Men We'd Like To Fuck? Where's the difference?

(genuine ?)

MmeLindor. · 02/08/2011 23:12

Both as bad as each other, imo.

I would never say that I would like to fuck someone. If I find a man attractive, I would say so. I would never use that term, even in jest.

bristolcities · 02/08/2011 23:21

I have had ''MILF'' shouted at me whilst carrying DS, It's horrible and actually makes me feel a bit Sad am I not a normal attractive person any more have I joined a weird ''alright for a mum'' club? Or am I over analyzing? Confused Grin

StewieGriffinsMom · 02/08/2011 23:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bristolcities · 02/08/2011 23:24

Also does it mean the average ''mummy'' is not considered ''yummy'' or worthy of having sex with? Why does it need to be stated that the person n question has had a child?

hermionestranger · 02/08/2011 23:35

I have been calling myself a yummy mummy because I bought myself a bugaboo.

As in, ha ha I'm such a yummy mummy in a sarcastic voice.

LordOfTheFlies · 03/08/2011 01:03

I'm a slummy mummy most days ie no make-up, hair tied back, give my DCs crisps in front of the telly and drink wine from a wine box (except I don't drink)

Definately not a scummy mummy -think Jeremy Kyle.

My DD asks me if I'm going to be a yummy mummy to go to Bluewater. Contact lenses, make-up, hair straightened and jewellery.
Then if I do make an effort she asks 'who are you trying to impress?'

I say "You, Darling Daughter"

PinkSchmoo · 03/08/2011 01:31

Loathsome term.

titihood · 03/08/2011 02:15

Hate it.

TillyIpswitch · 03/08/2011 03:45

I always assume people are using the term 'yummy mummy' in a piss-taking way. I would cringe with embarrassment for anyone using it seriously, especially about themselves.

MILF is highly derogatory, but against every one of my better instincts I just find it funny as I associate it with Stifler's Mom. [rollseyestohighheavenatselfemoticon]

catgirl1976 · 03/08/2011 09:37

God I would debase Jake Gyllenhalls sexuality. At least twice.

I don't like MILF because I think it marks you out as a "mum" (as in you should think yourself lucky anyone finds you fuckable now you have had kids), so I think it is much worse than "WILF". I wouldn't consider it a sexual harrasment issue in the workplace though, but then I work in a very male dominated industry and you need a tougher skin than that to survive.

I don't like any term that would categorise me as a mother first out of everything about me, so I dislike Yummy Mummy for that reason and also because it suggests a orange fake tan, hair extensions look that I think is a bit common.

forwantofabetter1 · 03/08/2011 09:37

I can honestly say I dont mind either term to be fair.
My MIL and FIL always refer to my group of friends that I have made through the Kids school as Yummy Mummys eg "Oh are you out with the Yummy Mummies tonight" and I always take it in good humour.
The term MILF should really be used by younger guys about older women and I must say when I was out on the raz the other week I was quite chuffed to be described as one and even texted my husband at home that he ought to think himself lucky to be married to a MILF (I was a little drunk at the time).
I dont think its sexist at all but then I'm the sort of person that quite enjoys the odd wolf whistle from the builders!

What I hate is all the Darlinging that goes on on this site eg DH DS DC I have been guilty of doing it myself the odd time for quickest but it does make me heave a bit!

Original poster
NewbeeMummy · 03/08/2011 10:05

I never expected so many people to respond.

I work in a very male dominated industry, so I have a thick skin and don't take the MILF comments personally - but would love to call the guys on it, I think I may next time we're out and see the response. :)

I can't decide if I dislike the YM thing more because of the implications it makes about a woman's choices after having children, or if I just find it "pass the bucket" cutesy

Think I will definitely ask expecting colleague how yummy she feels, after no sleep, being puked on 4 times a day, and not had a shower for at least 3 days. Oh the joy of a new born [smug]

OP posts:
LostMyIdentityAlongTheWay · 03/08/2011 10:23

Catgirl - I'll fight you for Jake. I don't 'do' sleb crushes, but him - boy, would I make an exception. He is SO buff in Prince of Persia!

Not that I'm considering him purely in terms of his sexual attractiveness and physical appearance, because that would be totally understandable shallow and despicable of me.

Still, bollocks to all that, eh?!

peppapighastakenovermylife · 03/08/2011 10:29

The issue with MILF rather than WILF is the underlying suggestion that shock horror you are actually still attractive once you have had children.

And there is the underlying Mrs Robinson / kinky suggestion of the 'older' woman who is still attractive

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