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AIBU?

can he cause a problem?

162 replies

charminggirl · 28/07/2011 22:25

I want to move away with my daughter and my new partner - my ex is saying he's going to talk to his lawyer and see about custody and I'm worried he's going to try and stop us or take us away. We haven't sorted PR yet as not been split up that long: if he gets it, can he stop us moving?
Thanks.

OP posts:

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Birdsgottafly · 28/07/2011 23:12

So you have no concept of providing your DD with stability after her life has changed dramatically?

In theory, you may not be able to do it, at least not yet.

'Moving house did me no harm', i wouldn't agree with that, you seem to not realise that DC's like and need the comfort that routine gives.

worraliberty · 28/07/2011 23:13

Just got benny-fits

puts wine down

What's that? A shopping list?

Joolyjoolyjoo · 28/07/2011 23:15

I do really hope it is a wind-up, but as I said, virtually same thing happened to my cousin and it has caused him so much hurt and made him very very angry and mistrustful of women. His child is his whole life and it has affected him hugely. She (his ex) refuses to pay half of the costs, refuses to make the trip, ever. He isn't allowed to stay at her house, and can't afford hotels etc, so he ends up driving the 200miles in the wee small hours, picking up child, driving child back to his place. He then has about 4-6 hours with his child before it's time for bed. His ex insists child must be back by teatime Sunday, so they have a few more hours before making the 4 hour trip back, then another 4 hour trip home.

He has tried to go to court, and I think managed to get them to "recommend" that she had to bring the child halfway, but I'm not sure it was ever enforced. He can't, and doesn't want to move there- there is nothing for him and he has a reasonably good job and many friends and family here. I really feel for him. He wants to see his child so he has to suck it up. So sad when there are so many absent fathers who couldn't give a crap.

But here's hoping this IS a wind-up

CustardCake · 28/07/2011 23:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

charminggirl · 28/07/2011 23:18

Why? You don't have any reason to think he's capable of looking after her!

OP posts:

hellospoon · 28/07/2011 23:18

tortoise is that you?

ENormaSnob · 28/07/2011 23:19

I hope to god he can put a stop to this nonsense.

What kind of mother puts her fancy man of 5 months before the wellbeing of her daughter.

Grow up op.

GypsyMoth · 28/07/2011 23:19

hellospoon....what have i missed? references to tortoises all the time now?

hellospoon · 28/07/2011 23:20

op, are you pregnant with your 3rd child by any chance?

nojustificationneeded · 28/07/2011 23:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

usualsuspect · 28/07/2011 23:21

@ fancy man

sorry

GypsyMoth · 28/07/2011 23:22

michelle was the name of op on the benefits thread!

GypsyMoth · 28/07/2011 23:23

revealed by the sockpuppet....geeza i think it was?

hellospoon · 28/07/2011 23:23

nojustification last night there was a thread ...

tortoise shells were REVEALED

hellospoon · 28/07/2011 23:23

lol tiffany i was trying to be discreet!

Donkeyswife · 28/07/2011 23:24

Look Charminggirl, I have a very dear colleague who was screwed around by his ex who made it so difficult for him to have a relationship with his ds. Please don't do this, your dd will suffer. You say she's resilient, she's a child ffs! Have you asked her how she'd feel moving away from daddy and not seeing him? For the sake of your child, I beg you to be a grown up and put her first. I don't buy 'fresh start', potential new job etc., with new bloke of 5 months. Let him move there first, get established and try visiting to see if you like the new area. How is your daughter going to feel being uprooted from her friends, family etc, let alone her dad. Put your daughter first.

ENormaSnob · 28/07/2011 23:24

I have turned into my gran

fancy man indeed.

GypsyMoth · 28/07/2011 23:25

i dont seem to do discreet!!

nojustificationneeded · 28/07/2011 23:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nojustificationneeded · 28/07/2011 23:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

puzzlesum · 28/07/2011 23:27

"You don't have any reason to think he's capable of looking after her!" Apparently you do, though.

charminggirl · 28/07/2011 23:35

Yes I do.

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lubeybooby · 28/07/2011 23:39

Rubbish. If you had true reason to think that you wouldn't be allowing 50% custody now.

You are skewing your own thoughts to suit yourself.

charminggirl · 28/07/2011 23:40

I think he can do it half the time if I'm there as well to make sure uniform is bought, school slips are filled in, dinner money is sorted, etc...... but it's me making sure all that happens and if I didn't, it would be chaos.

OP posts:

reelingintheyears · 28/07/2011 23:43

So why do you 'let' him have 50% parenting if you are so much better?

And DP is getting stroppy...

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