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AIBU?

can he cause a problem?

162 replies

charminggirl · 28/07/2011 22:25

I want to move away with my daughter and my new partner - my ex is saying he's going to talk to his lawyer and see about custody and I'm worried he's going to try and stop us or take us away. We haven't sorted PR yet as not been split up that long: if he gets it, can he stop us moving?
Thanks.

OP posts:

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coccyx · 28/07/2011 22:44

I hope the court says no. Not fair on child or her Dad

nojustificationneeded · 28/07/2011 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

worraliberty · 28/07/2011 22:45

Yes the 50% parenting will stand him in good stead in court and so it should quite honestly.

Also, CAFCASS will probably speak to your daughter and find out her true feelings/understanding of the situation.

GypsyMoth · 28/07/2011 22:46

he can get a prohibited steps order

to go from shared residency to what?
what access do you propose? who will pay for the travel? who will do both return journeys?

GypsyMoth · 28/07/2011 22:47

whose job is the move for? yours?

cannydoit · 28/07/2011 22:48

well my harsh head is coming out. you think your ex is overstating how he feels about spending time with his daughter...you wont make it difficult for her to see him... you sound pretty selfish and slightly delusional or just really petty and out to hurt your ex at the expense of your daughter. did have a thread up the other day asking if it was acceptable for women to use their children as weapons, it would appear you seem to think so.
i really dont see how you can think your daughter is going to react well to go from 50/50 parenting to seeing her father significantly less....are you for real???

charminggirl · 28/07/2011 22:48

partner's, which is why he's being such an arsehole about it.

OP posts:

reelingintheyears · 28/07/2011 22:49

But why is the Dads relationship with his DD seen as less important than the Mums?

GypsyMoth · 28/07/2011 22:49

ok,so how long have you been with new partner?

charminggirl · 28/07/2011 22:50

Since February.

OP posts:

worraliberty · 28/07/2011 22:50

5 months? FFS.....

nojustificationneeded · 28/07/2011 22:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 28/07/2011 22:51

He probably won't be able to stop you- my cousin's ex did this and it broke my cousin's heart He spends all his "contact" time (that he had to fight for through the courts) travelling the 400mile round trip to visit his child. It's a horrible situation for him, and his child who is very close to him. In his case, his ex has no new partner etc- he tried to prevent it because it reduces his contact time with his only child and causes him a lot of distress.

Please take your child's father's feelings into consideration, OP. We regularly slate feckless fathers on here, it's so sad when a guy really loves his child and wants to be a proper, full time dad, but is dismissed.

HerHissyness · 28/07/2011 22:51

How long have you been with this partner?

reelingintheyears · 28/07/2011 22:52

5 months is enough time to decide to move yourself and DD 200 miles away from her Dad?

Phew....i must be getting old.

charminggirl · 28/07/2011 22:53

Look, it was never a real relationship: we were only together because I'd got pregnant. If he wasn't out drinking, I was: it was only ever a matter of time. Me meeting DP was a catalyst and ideally things wouldn't have happened so quickly, but they have. Now I just need to know where we stand.

OP posts:

nojustificationneeded · 28/07/2011 22:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Donkeyswife · 28/07/2011 22:54

Sorry, I think yabu. How would you feel if he had a new partner and they decided to move 200 miles away, your dd in tow. Maybe there are more things you haven't said. But I would put your dd's interests first. Can't you talk about it with him?

GypsyMoth · 28/07/2011 22:54

so who will drive and pay for his contact?

Mare11bp · 28/07/2011 22:54

5 months? Random. Clearly you are putting your own feelings and wants before your daughter's.

Sorry, but the relationship is too short-term to warrant such an upheaval for your daughter so on that basis and YABVVU.

nojustificationneeded · 28/07/2011 22:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ReindeerBollocks · 28/07/2011 22:54

Surely your daughter has had enough to deal with - firstly her parents separate, then mum moves new bloke in, now mum was to uproot her already unstable world 200 miles away for the new boyfriends job!

Please, if this isn't a troll, stop and think of all the changes your daughter had already had to endure without moving her from her father and friends. I think it would be very unwise to move so soon when realistically you've only been with the new bloke for five minutes.

Put your daughters needs first.

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CustardCake · 28/07/2011 22:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fedupofnamechanging · 28/07/2011 22:55

If you want to move , then you ought to leave your DD with her dad and you do the 200 mile trip to see her when it's your 50% time to have her.

She's not just your daughter, she's his too and moving 200 miles away from him because it suits you and some bloke you've known for 5 minutes if outrageous. I hope the court says no.

ivykaty44 · 28/07/2011 22:55

charming - why not leave your dd with her father and you pop back every weekend to visit? You can see if it works out with the boyfirned and leave your ex to take care of your dd day to day?

Surely that would be better for your dd as she will be in her own familar surroundings - and you must want what is best for your dd?

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