To chuffing LOVE that on certain threads people always say stuff like

[Dogsby]

" what starter shall i have" - anti pasto

and any sodding thread on madeleine maccann some sour mouthed tosser puts " ooh no one calls her maddie in hter family" like it really MATTERS fgs.

what predicatable posts make you nuts?

just pissing myself at hester they are so true!!

Yes SM.

Relative poverty

aye,dm relative and its not no mobile phone either

'We are so much poorer than you. We may earn four times what you do but our mortgage is massive!' yeah, I bet your fucking house is too, boo hoo. Same goes for tax bill complaints. I'm sorry, if you are paying 50% tax then you already take home a lot more than me. But it's ok, you probably work harder than I do.

Any smug assurance regarding sleep that what that particular poster did worked, therefore it must work for your child. Ditto trying to get a fussy eater not to be fussy. In both cases the problem is because you pandered to your children.

Ones where the OP asks for help as she only has 20p to last 17 days and doesn't know how she's going to be able to feed her kids. Cue 50 responses asking how she can afford broadband with lots of faces, then another 50 responses of "how do you know the OP isn't using her local library/may be tied in to a 24 month contract taken out in better times" etc etc, always makes me

Any posts along the lines of "I just spat tea all over the keyboard", or "I laughed so hard a bit of wee came out"

the im a namechange oldie.nice ham,penguins...etc
as if anyone cares who you are or how long you been here
just post, and stop bumlicking for bit favourable treatment

this thread calls out for a like post function

any self confessed royalty. i is royalty/oldie
if you need to prefix yourself with royalty,you are bigging self up

This thread should be the Guide to MumsNet essential reading.

im sure i took up drinking tea again after seeing so many ppl spitting theirs out

im very easily swayed by subliminal messages

OK, so that's pretty well every thread ever on MN condemned and dismissed.

Shall we feck off to Netmums and start dissecting them? The tickers alone will keep us going for months...

This thread is just getting bitchy now...

MNHQ should link to this on the homepage, give newbies an idea of what they are letting themselves in for not really they'd run for the hills!

dont let door hit arse on way out
go to netmums
are you newbie

But its all just words on a screen..

Ha, comedy x post

exactly!so dont sweat it

at Jareth's comeback

Arf

Best one I saw recently was someone saying "you remind me of Phil Mitchell" and the person replying, quick as you like, "glad I am fuelling your fantasy"

Wish I had that kind of wit. Instead I am cursed with the staircase kind and a photographic memory

ha that was funny

has soandso left mn.she my bestest.pal.ever.love her so much.is she ok?
errrrrrr if she such good pal why don't you have details...

I think SM hates me, but she always swears she has no idea who I am

Well I am sure that cod is thoroughly disappointed at the way this thread is going.

"I haven't read through the rest of the thread but". ......

( followed by observation that first appeared on page 1)