To ask how you discipline your child

[alowVera]

without getting into the smacking debate? (just to make that clear),
More of a general question of what works for you? Sticker charts, naughty step, etc?
We're using a red STOP card with 3yo dd, and was just wondering if there is anything else I can try with a language delayed child?
What works for you with your toddlers?

Removing him from the situation usually works. He hates not knowing what's going on, so I sit him in the hall until he's calmed down enough and sorry enough to come back into the room.

Depends on situation, but generally tell them off

if carry on, smack and no! or go to room and stay there until told to come down

DD always responded to explanations. Ie 'We don't do that because xyz, and therefore I don't want you doing it either'. I've never used the 'naughty step' I hate the idea of it.

I use a 'time out' spot. Nursery don't use the word naughty so nor do I

I also use a sticker chart but this doesn't always work - sometimes get back, "well, I don't want a sticker!"

I try to talk rather than yell

I explain rather than bark orders

Reward good behaviour - but not with sweets

I find taking a favourite (or perhaps not so favourite) toy away works as a deterrent and punishishment

It is a hard job bringing up kids and a lot easier to not discipline but that will be harder in the long run

Continuity

I actually feel really sorry for toddlers when their parents tell them repeatedly to stop doing something or to come here...then when the child ignores them, the parent gives up.

Child does exactly the same thing the next day and gets punished for it.

What's wrong with a child being told they're being naughty when they're being naughty?

Practice "the look" and different tones of voice for different occasions

We are not allowed to call a child 'naughty' as it is a lable. Only the act itself is naughty...

What constitues being naughty worral?

loss of privilages its the only thing that works for me. He gets one warning and I tell him what hes done wrong and then his Bike/psp or other stuff he enjoys gets removed for one day. If the behaviour continues he looses them for longer . Its tough but it does work

Doh, label.

*practise (of course)

Callisto I did that with dd1, which worked with her, now send her (dd1 5yo) to her room, but dd2 just doesn't have the understanding of spoken language, (like talking to a 7month old), which is fine when they are 7months old, but at 3 she's more active than a 7month old, Iykwim.

i scream and shout. That shuts them up

I agree with a lot of The Look advocates. I use:

Over 5s = eyebrows, power of - and tone of voice.

Under 5s = Bodily removal if they are really kicking off.

Scenaro for you. Dd climbs up and pulls all DVDs of a shelf (4ft high), when I say stop, she doesn't, when I remove her, she goes back, continuously. take her out of the room for 5minute or so, or distract her with another toy, and she will just go back to the DVD shelf again.
WWYD?
(short of removing the DVDs because there's nowhere else to put them.

ive always went with stern talking to, or when really angry make them sit at the top of the hallway till im ready to deal with them then a stern talking to. if its just general naughtiness/over hyper etc usually saying their name in a strict mum voice does the job.

I think that you should only issue threats if you really mean it. So if you have gone to stay with relatives, and your toddler starts throwing toys, pulling the dog's tail, or whatever, then don't say "if you do that again we'll go home" unless you really are prepared to take the child home if the behaviour continues.

And like Worra said, if you allow something one day, then it's really unfair to not allow it the next. That way lies madness - children will try and get away with all sorts as they know there is a chance it will be a day when they're allowed to do something they know they really shouldn't.

I have a very very bold high spirited 9 year old. She is my youngest. The only thing that works with her is to be physically removed from the room. The 'look' means nothing to her, the 'tone' she will gladly ignore. My patience are very thin with her, but the more I give out to her the worse she is :(

I however think she is in a horrible spiral of negative attention, so my plan is to overly reward her for any kind of good behaviour. Literally catch her being good and praise her highly.

So my advice is catch them being good!

What constitues being naughty worral?

The list is far too long to type and it's fairly obvious when a child is displaying naughty behaviour isn't it?

I mean really. Children are generally not smacked any more (fair enough) but if we're going to go down the route of not even mentioning when they're being naughty, well words fail me.

Alow - if distraction and removal etc haven't worked I would hold her on my lap for a few minutes with no eye contact, no talking etc. I would then say "you have been on mummy's lap because you won't stop pulling the DVDs off the shelf. If you do it again you'll have to sit with mummy again" Then let her go, and if she tries again I would say 'No!' firmly, and restrain her on my lap again straight away. It does depend on her age a bit though.