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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU To consider not going to my good friends wedding in three days because I don't know how I will get home.

144 replies

Shell85 · 27/07/2011 16:19

A friend of mine is getting married at the weekend.
She has picked a lovely hotel in the middle of nowhere to get married.
I had arranged for DS and I to get a lift there and back with someone, but they told me at the hen do last weekend that they can no longer give us a lift.
I have tried to find another lift, even asked the bride to ask people, but she said there is no one that can give me a lift that is coming from anywhere near where I live.
Rooms at the hotel are £180 a night, even with the wedding guest discount, and a taxi would cost over £100. Nether of which I can afford this close to the end of the month.
I even looked at public transport, but it wouldn't work either.
There are no other hotels around that are of a reasonable price either.
I have asked friends if anyone would be willing to drive me but no one is free.

I don't see any other way to get there and get home, I don't want to miss it but I don't know if I have much of a choice.
AIBU to not go because I don't think we could get home?
I know my friend would be hurt if I let her down. :(

OP posts:
sims2fan · 27/07/2011 17:10

Have you asked everyone you know if they can give you a lift? I mean people who aren't attending the wedding. Someone may be happy to help out if you can cover the petrol, or at least most of the petrol, or if you can offer another favour in return such as a week's free childcare during the summer holidays. I would be asking absolutely everyone. It could be that noone can help but you might be pleasantly surprised, and it doesn't hurt to ask.

Tiredmumno1 · 27/07/2011 17:10

Sausages dont be daft read the op again, she was let down, hardly her fault

TheMonster · 27/07/2011 17:11

YANBU.

BluddyMoFo · 27/07/2011 17:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TeeBee · 27/07/2011 17:14

Where is the wedding?

anonymousbird · 27/07/2011 17:15

Have you tried liftshare.co.uk? You never know, you may get a lift.

Good luck.

RabbitPie · 27/07/2011 17:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CamperFan · 27/07/2011 17:16

Shock at sausages!

Original poster
Shell85 · 27/07/2011 17:17

I had organised my lift 8 months ago, it was only last weekend when the person that had agreed to give us a lift told me that she is not going to the wedding anymore because she found a "bargain last minute holiday".

I told the bride straight away and she was annoyed as it was the first she had heard of it. She was great and called around guest trying to sort out a lift or somewhere we could stay, but even she couldn't fix anything.

I looked for other near by hotels/B&Bs but there are none that are cheaper with the cost of a taxi added on

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 27/07/2011 17:17

Tent?

RabbitPie · 27/07/2011 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

sailorsgal · 27/07/2011 17:18

I have a spare room if its in Dorset. Grin

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 27/07/2011 17:20

That's a thought, sailorgirl. I too have a spare room; where's the wedding?

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 27/07/2011 17:22

youth hostel or similar within reasonable distance?

stay with bride or groom's family?

there MUST be cheaper accommodation if it's in the country. a B&B somewhere?

AuntiePickleBottom · 27/07/2011 17:23

Could your DC go in one car and you in another

FakePlasticTrees · 27/07/2011 17:25

All the other suggestions I could think off (hiring a large car for someone else who's going) probably won't come in at less than £100. So you are either not able to go or are going to have to borrow/credit card the cost.

If you really can't make it, tell the bride. I paid for a hotel room for an old friend at my wedding so that she could be there as she'd just gone back to uni and really couldn't afford it. There were others who if they'd said they couldn't afford it I'd have not bothered that much about, but she was the only guest who I'd known since primary school.

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 27/07/2011 17:25

How much could you afford? Is their someone who would drive you and wait around for £50?

Snowgirl1 · 27/07/2011 17:27

You said that most of the other guests are coming from the opposite direction, but do you know any of them well enough to ask if you could stay at their house for the night?

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 27/07/2011 17:28

Or could you use public transport to get there and go back on PT to somewhere where the trains do still run to at that time, getting picked up by a friend from that station?

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 27/07/2011 17:31

Do you know anyone who has teenagers cluttering up their house over the holidays? A teen with access to a car might do the driving for some cash?

BecauseImWorthIt · 27/07/2011 17:33

Tell us where you have to get to, and where you're leaving from, and see if any of us can help you out.

MrsWembley · 27/07/2011 17:40

I know people are properly blaming the guest who has dropped out ([shocked] at him/her coz of a last minute cheap holiday, not very good friend) but I'm planning my wedding got next year and one of the reasons for not choosing a hotel I've fallen in love with is the cost of the rooms. I don't feel I can ask family and friends to cough up the money they are askingSad

anonymousbird · 27/07/2011 19:31

liftshare.co.uk

anonymousbird · 27/07/2011 19:31

sorry

www.liftshare.com

thisisyesterday · 27/07/2011 19:42

k, are there any guests that you could get a lift with that takes you closer to home? or closer to a train station that could get you back in one journey? or to a friend's house or something?

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